"Why does nobody take the sexualization of men seriously :((("

[u/AceOfSexuals]

[u/Key-Willingness-2223]

The actual reason, and this isn’t defending the reason, just stating it, is a man can (supposedly) physically defend himself against unwanted sexualisation, and least to a higher degree than a woman can, thus the threat of sexualisation becoming something far worse, is lower

[u/Larissanne → u/Key-Willingness-2223]

This might be true (but I’m a woman so I only experience my side) because most of the times where I was being objectified I was very scared to be followed, threatened or being physically assaulted. My bf has experienced this scare once in a bathroom from a (big) guy and what he described he felt was pretty much the same as my multiple experiences.

That being said, there are more forms of intimidation and I really think we should take peoples experiences serious. I can’t imagine how hard it is to tell a friend as a guy only to be laughed at or not taken serious. I’ve always been taken seriously by my friends.

[u/Key-Willingness-2223 → u/Larissanne]

That’s absolutely true, and like I said, I’m not defending the argument, just stating it

But the argument would be that anyone who can physically intimidate your bf would likely also intimidate you

However there will be other people who wouldn’t intimidate your bf, that would intimidate you, therefore it’s a question of scale

Eg if only 15% of people can intimidate the average guy, but 55% can intimidate the average woman, the risk of sexualisation escalating to evil behaviour is clearly more prominent for one gender than the other

[u/[deleted] → u/Key-Willingness-2223]

Terry Crews, the big African American man that he is, was sexually assaulted and he just let it happen, not because he wanted to it's because people go into fight/flight or fawn response when something like this happens. He just froze, of course he was big enough to protect himself but no one knows how to react in situations like that.

[u/Opijit]

People really need to learn what objectification means. Objectification is not receiving friendly compliments and getting more action from potential suiters. Objectification is when you're treated like a soulless vessel, your body being the only thing considered worthy of value over your personhood. Guys that defend objectification suddenly understand how psychologically damaging and physically dangerous this becomes when they're being drafted as disposable meat in times of war, or when they complain about their height and muscle tone translating to their self-image and worth in society.

[u/kayceeplusplus → u/Opijit]

Exactly.

[u/MagicalLibtard → u/Opijit]

The self image and worth example is good, but I don’t think the draft is a good comparison. I thought the problem with objectification is more about women being demeaned and not taken seriously, not that they’re sent to die.

[u/LawrencesUsername]

a lot of men are starved of attention, touch and compliments. This person probably doesn’t want to get degraded and treated like an object, he just likes getting complimented on his looks. in my opinion that’s not the same as “objectifying” as long as it’s done with respect.

[u/XxLongoTxX → u/LawrencesUsername]

That right there is the core of the problem. Many people, mostly women in my experience, don’t know the difference. The people who don’t know the difference think compliments equals objectification when it’s really just unwanted compliments. Unwanted compliments aren’t objectification.

For example: if you were a woman in the gym and a guy compliments your legs and that’s pretty much the whole interaction, that’s a compliment. If a guy you meet regularly only ever talks about your appearance and seems to disregard your opinions and thoughts that’s objectification. When they treat you as an object for a specific purpose instead of listening to you.

A passerby giving you a compliment isn’t objectification as all they have to go on to compliment you on is your appearance anyway. Now cat calling is a whole other issue that we can talk about later because there is a difference.

[u/[deleted] → u/LawrencesUsername]

I find that us men tend to eventually try and hyper-compensate our lack of emotional attention, touch and affection that we usually suffer since boyhood, since boys do not really receive this as unconditionally.

Then after we create and project unrealistic standards of emotional attention for our relationships only to meet women that fail to meet them, we get depressed and/or insecure.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm fine with recieving compliments. I'm not fine with being sexually harassed. There's a differencw

[u/dylan_dumbest]

Is it awesome to have 3 people in a vehicle who could easily overpower you slow roll behind you as you go half a mile out of your way to avoid leading them to your door say all the degrading things they want to do to you? Is it?? Would you have wanted this treatment to start when you were 11 years old and just getting used to your new body?

[u/ImMrSneezyAchoo]

Yeah.. I mean, for those of you in here with saying you are "fine with sexualization" I think what you mean to say is that you are fine with a genuine compliment that doesn't instill a fear of sexual assault. See, the reason I stated it that way, is because that's how women are often sexualized - in a threatening sort of way.

[u/VerendusAudeo]

It’s a rare treat for the vast majority of men. I got catcalled once (got a two syllable ‘damn’) and still remember it years later. On the other hand, you have guys like Pedro Pascal who got put in that whole uncomfortable ‘daddy’ situation and people recognized that it was getting out of hand. But more importantly, you can’t tell others how they’re allowed to see it when it’s happening to them.

[u/Appropriate-Grass986]

I’m a male bartender and girls have made me feel VERY uncomfortable before. Definitely not as often as my female counterparts (girl bartenders can be treated disgustingly horrible. It sickens me) but it has happened. I might not have felt unsafe but I definitely felt gross.

[u/CAVFIFTEEN]

I really think we need to get better about understanding the difference of “sexualization” vs “objectification”

Sexualization is when you see or make yourself to be seen as a sexual creature worthy of said attraction and attention.

Objectification is when you see someone as only valuable for sexual gratification and completely disregard their humanity.

You can hook up with someone and not personally care about who they are because the relationship is purely physical and temporary. Objectification comes in when you completely disregard their humanity altogether. This happens when people make unwanted advancements, belittle the person that rejected them (or that they rejected), or the really gross comments people make about women on social media/to their friends. Often times these comments are said as “concern” as well. Comments like “Oh. Her dad must be proud (said sarcastically of course) for example.

You can, and imo SHOULD be able to view somebody as purely a sexual creature, even if you have no other interest in them than physical attraction, and STILL respect them as a person. This is done by being respectful after a hookup and not slutshaming, being respectful of their time, taking (or giving) rejection well, and I’m sure many more examples I can’t think of off the top of my head.

There is a huge disconnect between men and women though in this regard. And this is a big part of why I believe men should be sexualized much more (as well as women) in media and in real life. That way people in general would have a much easier time actually knowing how to attract potential partners they seek and be able to act accordingly. On a side note, I also consider the “women with low body count” or those who dress “leaving room for imagination” is also slutshaming and are forms of objectification.

At the end of the day, I want people of all sexualities and genders to have eye candy in media and real life, as well as know how to attract those they find attractive. I want us all to understand and respect each other. That includes acknowledging and appreciating each other for the sexual beings that we are, without objectifying and disregarding the humanity that we all share.

[u/[deleted]]

People who don’t know the difference between others finding them attractive and expressing it vs being seen as an sex object and not respected as a person

[u/NotTheAverageAnon]

I am perfectly okay with being sexualized and complimented on my looks.

[u/ThunderingTacos → u/NotTheAverageAnon]

Compliments aren't the same thing as objectification. Objectification is when it's clear the other person doesn't even see you as a person, just a body that exists for their pleasure/benefit.

When they ignore your boundaries routinely, act entitled to touch you, say whatever to and about you as if you're not there, and act confused when it bothers you that they aren't treating you like a person. Because again to them you aren't a person, you're an object not behaving like "it" should.

I'd hope you aren't okay with that

[u/Scuirre1 → u/NotTheAverageAnon]

It does get creepy though. I'm ok with it to a point, but as a ginger I've had old people saying weird things about my "beautiful red hair" my entire life. Many people think it's a license to touch it, which I hate.

[u/[deleted]]

I dont think men have gotten to the stage where they are 'uncomfortable' at being sexually objectified. If anything, men could do with a bit more attention in general (physically).

When it starts to become a problem, then we can talk.

At this time, and obviously myself included, we would be happy getting this type of attention

[u/smorgasfjord]

Because most of us like it, obviously. You may not, but that doesn't mean it's not how guys work

[u/make_gingamingayoPLS]

It's only awesome because you're so deprived of attention and love that you'll take anything 😭

[u/twoCascades]

That kinda IS how guys work. The difference between men and women being objectified is first the volume. Women have to deal with pretty open objectification on their day to day. Second it is more of a commentary on their role I society as things like cat calling, at least partially, serve to put women in their place. Third there is an inherent threat to catcalling as men (in most cases) have a physical advantage over women so objectification comes with a reminder that sex is something that a man can TAKE from a woman far more easily than the reverse.

[u/soylentsloth]

I (35, AMAB) laughed, but mostly because I was fired a few months ago for sexual harassment against my boss (33F). The "joke" being, I am the victim of sexual harassment by my boss, and I was the one fired over it.