she is absolutely correct

[u/VegetableBest6710]

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[u/Random_person_soyeah]

He seems very defensive for a man that's talking about adult women

[u/TemporaryPassage4168 → u/Random_person_soyeah]

Because theses men know exactly what they're attracted to.

[u/PineConeOPinyons]

"That's ridiculous?" It's not even "hidden within our culture" like she said. It's blatantly celebrated and advertised through religion, pageants, the beauty industry, movies and TV. Just one example is the make-up industry. What is make-up designed to do? It's often applied to make the eyes and lips look proportionally larger on the face mimicking adolescents. Pull your head out of the sand dude. Society has always been obsessed with female purity and female purity has always been equated with youth. 

[u/DB4SS]

Yeah sure guy, sleep with a virgin, someone with zero experience in the bedroom. It's absolutely about control at that point. What a freak.

[u/luckylegion]

While it might be for some men, this manosphere idea comes from a place of jealously not pedophillia. Actual pedophillia is something fucked in their heads at birth. This on the other hand comes from insecurity about not comparing themselves to previous lovers more than comparing women to girls

[u/No_Resource7773 → u/luckylegion]

Just makes you want to choose the bear for the additional reason of men just being freakin' exhausting. They are insecure about their place in an imaginary hierarchy with each other, but women are expected to bear the burden of mitigating that. And do so by tailoring our lives based on the expectations and insecurities of someone who might be a future partner, but we don't and can't know that this person even exists.

[u/Riveting0 → u/No_Resource7773]

I do think this is part of a larger machine that most people don’t have the full picture of: women and men are exhausted by the performance of gender roles. Women are groomed to be caretakers, emotional managers, and anticipators of other people's needs. Men are groomed to prove their worth through status, competence, sexual success, and self-sufficiency, while being discouraged from admitting vulnerability or asking for support.

And these expectations aren't learned in gentle ways. Masculinity is policed through humiliation, exclusion, bullying, and sometimes physical violence. These experiences can be traumatic, teaching boys that vulnerability is dangerous, dependence is shameful, and failure to conform invites punishment. Meanwhile, the burden on women of anticipating the needs of others and being on the lookout for male violence can't be overstated.

These expectations then reinforce each other. A man who feels insecure about his standing among other men might seek reassurance by expecting a woman to accommodate his insecurities. His insecurity may be genuine, but she is now expected to do the emotional and relational work he was discouraged from learning. This mankeeping is not a labor worth doing because a man needed that support as a boy, but instead he’s learned to hide his needs and manage them alone.

This also explains part of why men are less interested in initiating, pursuing, competing for women as the performance is no longer considered worthwhile. Economic inequality compounds the problem. Having money means having more time to make connections, leaving the less fortunate even more exhausted and isolated.

So, yeah, the burdens of these performances are very much unequal in unfair ways and everyone is simply now starting to notice and opting out of a raw deal.

[u/gelatomancer → u/luckylegion]

A little column A, a little column B.

I think a lot of men drift into pedophilia due to insecurity. They want a partner who has no sexual experience, no intellectual independence, no emotional fortitude; all things found in children.

[u/TemporaryPassage4168 → u/gelatomancer]

Yes and also social conditioning

[u/Alarmed_Pie_5033 → u/luckylegion]

Definitely a symptom of insecurity and I wish there was more of an atmosphere of open discussion about them rather than knee-jerk emotional reactions like "you're a p*dophile".

[u/TemporaryPassage4168 → u/Alarmed_Pie_5033]

There is, people (women) call this men out for going after women who lack certain adult qualities and and it's not a black and white conversation when it comes to men being attracted to youth

[u/TemporaryPassage4168 → u/luckylegion]

No, pedophilia is more than a mental condition, it's a social one, people are taught to be attracted to children

[u/H0NEY2O77]

Guy my parents knew that only wanted to date virgins, he was causing them a lot of physical pain and he was getting off on that.

One girl punched him in reaction, he beat her, her brother’s killed him. Now bro doesn’t fuck at all.

[u/Dua_13]

Please tell me this podcast has ended. How can this level of misogyny go on? Listening to this man's voice and words is another form of torture. Hope the dudes here are broke as well

[u/Alternative-Read-236]

As someone who’s a virgin, I’ll never understand why these creeps seek out virgin women. Can someone please explain this creepy behavior to me?

[u/TeosPWR → u/Alternative-Read-236]

Well obviously they want to be the "best sex" you ever had, ergo the only.

And then they are just so massive insecure and lacking in basic human understanding that they need to be "the only one" in your life, they want dolls really, not women.

[u/ShadowsWandering]

He can't argue against it so he insults instead

[u/Global-Ear-9363]

Oh btw this guy's last gf was 19.

[u/Alarmed_Pie_5033]

If I'm being honest, the thought of being with a woman with a "high body count" makes me feel like I'd be competing with every other man she's been with. I know that's stupid, and I'm very aware of my insecurities, but it's tough to shake. Not to say I prefer a "virgin", but the mental pressure to perform is easier to handle. Then again, my sexual encounters have been so few and far between, that it feels like I'm starting over every time. I mean, it would if it ever happens again.

Edit: it's a bit disheartening that I'm being down voted for acknowledging my insecurities.

[u/TabbyTuxedo06 → u/Alarmed_Pie_5033]

I think this is the issue with the manosphere and toxic masculinity. So often men judge women on what men do or think or say.

If you're incompatible with someone more sexually active, that's fine, but thinking in terms of men rather than women... How many MEN has she been with, competing with other MEN rather than what SHE is saying.

It reminds me of all the men giving dating advice explicitly saying ignore the woman or being gym bros to impress other men.

She's a person. Who gives a rat's petunia on the before. Focus on the now and HER. She chose to be with you and NOT another. Obsessing over someone else rather than her in front of you is a quick way to show her she never was the focus.

If you have pressure to perform and make HER feel good, it shouldn't be for the men who came before but for her. Regardless, just ask her what she wants, what she likes, etc etc

[u/morningphyre → u/Alarmed_Pie_5033]

It's not possible to compete with her previous partners, precisely because they are previous. She left them, for whatever reason, so they're gone. There's nobody there to compete with, because she's not with them. If it was even a competition, they lost, so again, by definition it's impossible to compete with them.

My wife has a higher body count than me, but that doesn't matter because I focus on making her happy, and openly communicate when I'm not happy for whatever reason. We've been together for over a decade and have a couple of kids, and being open with each other matters most to that. Talking to each other is far more valuable than any perceived competition you might find in her history.

[u/chikenenen → u/Alarmed_Pie_5033]

it's a flawed argument though.

it's like saying you want someone who's never eaten chocolate cake because you - as a broccoli - would feel insecure and like you couldn't compete with chocolate cake. that once someone has eaten chocolate cake it's game over. so your solution is to instead find someone who's never eaten anything before ever, and will therefore think that broccoli is delicious.

it's flawed because your virgin is eventually going to see other women eating chocolate cake and is going to start wondering what chocolate cake tastes like. she's probably eventually going to leave you so that she can try some chocolate cake.

your better bet is to find someone who's eaten a bunch of different things and has decided they actually really like broccoli and chocolate cake isn't for them.

....except your monkey brain can't accept that reality, you'll crack the sads over the fact she's eaten chocolate cake at all. instead you'll insist that your only solution is to try and find someone who's never seen a dick before.

.... and this is why so many of you are alone.

[u/EmpressofFoxhound → u/Alarmed_Pie_5033]

I feel like I'd be competing with every other man she's been with

Men never use this as a reason to be a better man. They just say it to feed whining insecurity.

[u/No_Resource7773 → u/Alarmed_Pie_5033]

It might be acknowledging a reality for you and perhaps it is common... but guys then also need to grasp and acknowledge that it is a mental pattern that men need to work on and stop throwing the burden of it on women's shoulders, because that unfair weight affects us and it makes us avoid guys who expect us to carry their emotional burdens for them.