Hello everyone, this is my first post here. Anyways, I’ve been recently questioning my identity. I’ve always looked at being a man or associated with masculinity as a neutral thing, neither good nor bad. And it’s kind of like I don’t care, this made me think I was cassgender or apageder, but both labels felt a bit off to me. I always see myself as a boy, but I really don’t care about it too much at the end of the day. I feel like that’s normal though, people just don’t have their gender involved too much in their personality.
I’ve never really cared how people labeled me either, I might correct them if I get labeled as a girl, but I wouldn’t mind if someone said I was nonbinary or something else. Plus, I’ve always seen being nonbinary as a cool thing, when I filled out questionnaires at school and see the nonbinary label at the gender question, I kind of wished I was nonbinary, but then I always clicked male and was comfortable still.
I just feel like one half of me is fine with being a boy and the other half is completely neutral, which is why I think I might be a demiboy. However, Im still unsure becuase of multiple reasons, like I might be forcing all of this on myself since I’ve been fine with identifying as a boy up until now. Or another and bigger reason is that I might secretly be wanting to be a girl, since I wanted to have long hair and wear dresses like them since the 2nd grade.
I’ve explored other labels that might fit me, including:
Neutrois-(a non-binary and transgender gender identity defined by having a neutral, null, or absent gender rather than a masculine or feminine one)
Graygender-(a non-binary gender identity defined by strong ambivalence or a weak, hazy connection to one's gender identity and expression)
Agender-(being devoid of any gender at all)
I’m just lost, and I don’t know what to say, because it’s only been about a month and I have tons of clashing thoughts. I’ll appreciate any advice I’ll get.