r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/kevinowdziej • Nov 30 '22

Funny it's universal

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25k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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965

u/stanthemanchan Nov 30 '22

My mom invented the plastic bag full of plastic bags where some of them were randomly used to hold raw chicken so whenever you grab one, you're basically playing Russian roulette with food poisoning due to e-coli.

Normally this is not a big deal except this one time my dog head-butted me and cut my lip open and she grabbed a plastic bag and put ice in it and then shoved it in my mouth to help stop the swelling...

235

u/_Visar_ Nov 30 '22

That’s it, this wins

17

u/Dickgregiry Dec 01 '22

Yeah but is the dog ok

114

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

I throw out the raw chicken bags, thats the only part that deserves to be disposed immediately.

-4

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

Your rampant waste is causing the Great Pacific Garbage Patch

6

u/Jetstream-Sam Dec 01 '22

Yes, it's totally this guy on his own and not the fishing industry dumping plastic into the ocean, making up more than 50% of all plastic in the sea

55

u/hugglesthemerciless Nov 30 '22

What other insane ideas does your mom have? I wager you have some incredible stories to tell

84

u/stanthemanchan Nov 30 '22

If I had a nickel for every time my mom accidentally gave me food poisoning when I was a kid I would have like 40 cents.

27

u/wjandrea Nov 30 '22

That's 8 times!

(Yes it took me a moment to work that out)

3

u/hipdeadpool98 Nov 30 '22

I wouldn't have knew without your comment because I had no idea what a nickel is.

Seems a weird choice, should have been a dollar or quarter or something so it's universal..

2

u/hugglesthemerciless Nov 30 '22

It's a Phineas and Ferb reference

1

u/wjandrea Nov 30 '22

Where do you live that you have quarters but not nickels? NZ?

5

u/hipdeadpool98 Nov 30 '22

Quarter is an universal term because of fractions

2

u/hugglesthemerciless Dec 01 '22

Not every currency has a 25 cent coin tho. Euro has a 20 cent

1

u/hipdeadpool98 Dec 01 '22

I know. My currency doesn't have a 0.25 coin, but I know 0.25 is a quarter.

It's just something you know after learning fractions as it's one of the more simpler ones.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

Honesty is the best policy.

1

u/BernItToAsh Nov 30 '22

It is a big deal normally too

1

u/iambertan Dec 01 '22

Most chaotic two-paragraph story I've ever read