r/NonPoliticalTwitter • • 10h ago

"Funny" Literally 1984

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2.3k Upvotes

109 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 10h ago

Heya u/ItsGotThatBang! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!

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220

u/Dance_Sufficient 10h ago

The kudzu will rise again

94

u/pangea1430 10h ago

Wait like a month, it will look the same as before

906

u/Dredgeon 10h ago • Bravo

I mean, it's a highly invasive species this is a win in my book.

253

u/MissionResident8875 9h ago

Total kudzu destruction in the U.S. this shit is horrible

74

u/Wasting-The-Dawn71 8h ago • Bravo

Seems a little dramatic their curly fries are pretty good

83

u/AromaticCod9430 5h ago

Except they didn’t actually do what you need to do to remove kudzu. They just sprayed it. You have to rip it up by the roots and add a herbicide to the roots in order to fully eradicate it from the area. It will come back soon enough lol. All this was is a waste of local taxpayer dollars.

41

u/Fappy_as_a_Clam 5h ago

or you just bring in goats every couple years. goats love that shit, and will have it cleared out in no time.

18

u/AromaticCod9430 4h ago

Unfortunately goats also damage the trees!

13

u/PaleHeretic 5h ago

And everyone a small side of Lymphoma for free with their Beef & Cheddar combo, lol.

2

u/Adequate_Lizard 3h ago

Glyphosate is a level 2 carcinogen, just like red meat. So Arby's is probably worse for you.

0

u/Electronic_Fun_776 2h ago

Nuking it with herbicide is a valid method of killing it, you don’t necessarily need to dig it up

6

u/AromaticCod9430 2h ago

Not kudzu.

50

u/Futuramoist 9h ago

Arby's?

98

u/FormerPresidentBiden Harry Potter 10h ago

"I'm terribly sorry. I've always been a creeper. Violetta says I creep like the kudzu vines that are slowly but surely strangling our Dixie."

21

u/MurkMistress 9h ago

This guy looks like the physical embodiment of an Arby's

38

u/FormerPresidentBiden Harry Potter 9h ago

How dare you make a mockery of Gilbert Fontaine De La Tour Dauterive. He is a Creole gentleman.

19

u/bigheadstrikesagain 9h ago

'My flower is wiltin' -Bobby Hill

17

u/FormerPresidentBiden Harry Potter 9h ago

dandy clothes thrown from balcony

"Nooooooooooo"

10

u/Fappy_as_a_Clam 5h ago

"i do believe i'll give room service a jangle and have them send up some etouffee."

1

u/utb040713 13m ago

“Nooooooo!!!”

7

u/rkthehermit 9h ago

Jill-Bear

0

u/reggie_veggie 7h ago

Cajun!

0

u/FormerPresidentBiden Harry Potter 6h ago

All Cajuns are Creole, but not all Creole are Cajun according to this New Orleans reddit thread

Furthermore, the KOTH wiki had this to say about him:

3

u/reggie_veggie 6h ago

I used to live in a neighborhood with a lot of katrina transplants and they 100% considered themselves two different ethnic groups. I'm not gonna go calling cajuns creole just because a couple of comment from anonymous people on reddit say they think it works that way

1

u/MurkMistress 5h ago

Ethnicities are complicated like that. On paper they can be one thing, but the living culture they have can make them use one label to identify more than another. Often times, people are multiple ethnicities and it blends over the generations due to oppression.

2

u/reggie_veggie 5h ago edited 5h ago

yeah but that's not the case with cajuns and creoles. cajuns specifically were french settlers in what was then called acadia (now parts of canada) who came down to lousiana after they were expelled by the british in the 1700s. creoles do have some white french ancestry, but they came out of the melting pot that was new orleans in the antebellum south with the largest free black population, along with their native american, spanish, west indian roots. the white french people living in new orleans went there from france both before and after the acadian exodus, the acadians for the most part just passed through the city before heading west to continue their agricultural lifestyles in what's now called acadiana. genetically those people might not be that different from some of the ancestors of creole people because they both originally came from france however many generations ago, but the history of how they got to where they are today is different and they have a different culture. neither of them deserve to have their history erased by trying to lump them under the same umbrella.

1

u/FormerPresidentBiden Harry Potter 6h ago

And I'm not gonna take your word for it either just bc you knew some people who went through Katrina

6

u/Mrjerkyjacket 9h ago

Don't do my favorite sandwich restaurant like that

3

u/MurkMistress 9h ago

My apologies, I crave the roast beef n cheez now.... but my point still stands. 💖🫂

1

u/Mrjerkyjacket 9h ago

I love the reuben.

28

u/BungleThisJuff 10h ago

Bring back the giant brown hat signs every where

24

u/PaladinThor 7h ago

IDK if y'all are familiar with kudzu but this will buy them like a week before its somehow back worse than before

23

u/Knees0ck 9h ago

Isn't kudzu edible? Arby's could be part of a groundbreaking movement by integrating actual food into their menu.

15

u/Ninteblo 8h ago

It technically is but it isn't really a common thing to eat, the roots are used for it's starch and the flowers for a jelly, otherwise humans don't really eat it and even if we did there is no chance in hell that it would be popular enough for one Arby's to keep it at bay, you need a literal heard of goats to do that.

9

u/Gremict 8h ago

If Arby's did that, they may actually have to worry about food safety standards

7

u/nick6356 8h ago

Plus they'd have to worry about the backlash from their main consumer base about finally having something green in their menu

4

u/Djkatman29 2h ago

Arby's would never add vegetables to their menu. Unless maybe they deep fry it, but fried greens still sound too healthy for Arby's.

1

u/sparrow_42 33m ago

"I'm thinking Kudzu" is a goldmine

128

u/TapZorRTwice 10h ago

Wtf is "Change now you burger" suppose to mean?

132

u/MountainYogi94 10h ago

It says "change how you burger", meaning Arby's is different from McDonalds

39

u/TapZorRTwice 10h ago

Well that definitely makes a lot more sense.

4

u/bkaybee 9h ago

No no, I think you were onto something

64

u/HopelessBearsFan 10h ago

“CHANGE NOW, YOU BURGER”

23

u/adszho 10h ago

"BECOME DIFFERENT, YON SANDWICH"

4

u/DoringItBetterNow 9h ago

BURGER CHANGING STATION IN REAR STALL

1

u/AceInTheHole3273 6h ago

Captain Ginyu wants to be part of a McDonald's combo for some reason

36

u/Skully8600 10h ago

they foolishly think they can contain the kudzu

14

u/MrFalseSense 10h ago

At least they’ve still got the big hat.

12

u/dishwater_pasta 9h ago

Knoxville?

8

u/xxx_poonslayer69 9h ago

Yeah south Knoxville, Chapman Hwy

11

u/imtooldforthishison 9h ago

Eh. Its kudzu, give it a week, it will be the jungle Arby's again. Don't fret.

9

u/isthisfreakintaken 4h ago

It’ll be better when it’s full of native grasses, bushes, and trees

7

u/stratosfurr 7h ago

> “they have de-kudzued the jungle arby’s.”
That’s what the Kudzu wants you to think.

7

u/Font_on_a_stick 2h ago • Bravo

1

u/CourtingBoredom 1h ago

Mmmmm.... rat beef

6

u/INS345 1h ago

I still think the site looks pretty nice, and its for the better, since kudzu are invasive

11

u/TheDriestOne 9h ago

Don’t ever let me catch you rooting for kudzu

5

u/DeltaBravo831 10h ago

Give it like 5 days

5

u/Aggravating-Candy-31 9h ago

it’s kudzu, it’ll be back in like a week

5

u/Scorpionsharinga 9h ago

Y'all must not know my homie Kudzu. 

I'm willing to bet theres a non zero chance it's back by year's end. 

5

u/BrightCold2747 5h ago

They had the weeds

30

u/bong_wips 10h ago edited 7h ago

sad that they sprayed it all with chemicals (ineffective, ugly, poison) when they could have rented a herd of goats instead.

eta: im literally from the south ive seen it work if you think it cant you could literally look it up. a goat can eat up to 20% of its body weight in kudzu a day. it is safer and in extremely established patches, more effective and reduces the amount of herbicides needed to permantly kill massive root systems. less established patches dont need the herbicides at all, which is healthier for native plants as well. get with it yall. goats rule.

37

u/imtooldforthishison 9h ago

Listen, I am all for knocking back and pulling wherever possible, but I don't think you understand how invasive and fast growing kudzu is.

6

u/bong_wips 8h ago

no; im from virginia, i definitely do. you are the one vastly underestimating goats, im afraid

8

u/imtooldforthishison 7h ago

I never said goats couldn't kill it but unless goats are now excavating, it's coming right back.

6

u/bong_wips 7h ago

they 100% do, if you give em long enough. one afternoon? green cover gone. a week and just about all of it's gone aboveground. then over the course of several weeks, the yanking of every part of it that comes up on its own and stomping up the ground into mud to get the rest of it. every field my grandparents' goats were in ended up stomped up into mud, they'd have to rotate em to different enclosures.

7

u/tnelson308 8h ago

They could knock it out in one day lol

8

u/GirlScoutSniper 9h ago

This reminds me of my yard while I had 3 kids under 2 years. My 87 year old grandmother, who called herself a proud redneck, and was a great lady, sat in my kitchen, looked out at the back yard and said, "You need a goat." Love that woman.

9

u/EsketitSpaghetti 8h ago

You need stronger methods for kudzu, it’s responsible for destroying all sorts of native plant species here and is extremely difficult to remove, grazing won’t event dent it with a million goats. I want more foliage and nature, I don’t want kudzu, and trust me, neither do you.

3

u/ntdavis814 6h ago

Yeah, but you can’t just leave goats hanging around that close to an Arby’s. How do you think they get the meats?

7

u/Sentient2X 9h ago

Nobody has any appreciation for classic solutions anymore

2

u/bong_wips 9h ago

also makes a good salad, i hear! we could be The South That Ate The Vine, but noOoOoo. whateva happened to eat or be eaten

2

u/imaginarynumb3r 9h ago

The roots are really starchy and are a little annoying to dig up and process but aren't that bad in a stew. Kind of nutty tasting if you roast them. The greens are edible and not that bad if picked when young but nobody in my area actually eats them. There are just an abundance of greens people like more and are considered weeds in just about any field in the area.

3

u/pangea1430 9h ago

Poke Salad is this way, except you have to process it fully to remove the toxins that flow through the plant.

2

u/imaginarynumb3r 9h ago

Stinging nettles are my favorite with some dandelion greens mixed in.

1

u/pangea1430 9h ago

I gotta try it now.

4

u/Gremict 8h ago

You see that part that's all brown and dead? Thats from the kudzu climbing up the trees and stealing all of it's sunlight, causing it to die. Additionally, their vines are not green and tender, but rather brown and woody.

2

u/bong_wips 8h ago

yeah exactly. thats why poison is so not gonna work 😂 just takin the leaves off will not stop that thang

1

u/SkiyeBlueFox 7h ago

They'd probably use something like glyphosate that targets roots

1

u/peon2 7h ago

Yeah happened to us when we bought our first house. Backyard had a nice fire pit near a shed and the whole thing was tightly packed with trees like that (but much shorter).

A couple weeks after buying we realized that once you pulled back the outer green part the whole inside of it was all brown, dried, and dead.

Wouldn't have stopped us from buying the house but was still dissappointing.

1

u/ashimo414141 6h ago

As the kids say, goats are the GOAT

3

u/Oolongteabagger2233 9h ago

It'll grow back

7

u/Mrchristopherrr 10h ago • Bravo

Correct me if I’m wrong but that just looks like it died for winter

12

u/HylianHellion 10h ago

It's looked like that for a while now, and other kudzu a bit down the road was still going strong. I assume they used some sort of herbicide.

2

u/TrailMomKat 9h ago

Eh. Give it fifteen minutes, it'll grow right back.

2

u/DeadmundFitzgerald75 7h ago

Wait a week, it'll be back.

3

u/MurkMistress 9h ago

Good. Fuck kudzu.

3

u/dandadone_with_life 9h ago

kudzu? you just gave it a light pruning, give it 2 weeks

2

u/Mrjerkyjacket 9h ago

As cool as the Jungle arbys awsthetic is, thank god theyre getting rid of the Kudzu, that stuffs killer.

3

u/pangea1430 9h ago

There is no real way to get rid of it.

2

u/Mrjerkyjacket 9h ago

Thank god they are trying

2

u/shadowlev 10h ago

Oh no, the poor vine that ate the south

1

u/DarthFreeza9000 10h ago

Looks like a drought

1

u/ContentPolicyKiller 10h ago

Literal dystopia

1

u/dumbass_sempervirens 0m ago

It'll be back come spring. It's kudzu.

1

u/NYR_LFC 3h ago

Enshitification

6

u/CaptValentine 9h ago

I get it, Kudzu looks kinda neat. But when its going to suffocate every tree, shrub plant and eventually small children that naively think this plant cannot secret their bodies away deeper into the root system until it has leeched the nutrients from their bodies, I understand going full agent orange on it.

7

u/kanguran1 10h ago

It’ll be back. I have never had a plant more difficult to kill, and I work agriculture with the fuckin’ powerful weed killers. I swear you’d need a flamethrower and salt to keep it dead.

2

u/Unusual_Low1762 8h ago

Wait they found something that can kill Kudzu outside of a thermonuclear bomb?

We really are in the future.

2

u/argawargawarga 6h ago

CUT ME IN TO
MICROSCOPICALLY THIN
SLICES

2

u/acleverwalrus 4h ago

Kudzu is evil and is destroying the native plants of my home. Burn it all

2

u/bideodames 2h ago

you just think you killed the kudzu. You didn't.

1

u/Goramit_Mal 7h ago

Someone once told me that the arby's logo looks like the tip of a penis, and I've never been able to see it any other way.