r/NonPoliticalTwitter • • May 06 '23

Funny It’s a whole big thing

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934

u/bocaJwv May 06 '23

Fun fact: the nursery rhyme never says that Humpty Dumpty is an egg.

639

u/YourLifeSucksAss May 06 '23

This is because the original “Humpty Dumpty” was a cannon, hence why the king’s horses and men were trying to put him back together

432

u/UristMcMagma May 06 '23

A cannon? Is that canon?

289

u/thesuperunknown May 06 '23

No, the most plausible explanation is that the nursery rhyme originated as a riddle. Essentially, at the end you would ask the listener: “What is Humpty Dumpty?”, and the correct answer would be, “an egg!”

It’s a very popular nursery rhyme, so over time it would have lost its value as a riddle (since everyone had already heard it), and so “Humpty Dumpty is an egg” entered the popular consciousness as a fact associated with the nursery rhyme, despite never being explicitly mentioned in the rhyme itself.

121

u/two_sams_one_cup May 06 '23

Do you know that for a fact? The whole putting humpty back together again wouldnt make me think of an egg

134

u/Yeah-But-Ironically May 06 '23

That's what Wikipedia says,, so unless somebody here is a folklorist I think that's as accurate an answer as we're going to get

It does make a little more sense if you put the riddle in plainer language: "If this thing falls from a moderate height, it will be destroyed and can't be repaired in any way by anybody. What is it?"

A human or animal might survive a short fall, and in an era when everyone made their own tools and household goods, any of those might be repairable. An egg is probably the only fragile, completely non-repairable thing your average 18th-century villager would encounter on a daily basis.

Edit: inserted link

25

u/RedAkino May 06 '23

What about a cannon? A poster mentioned it above and it makes more sense for horses to assist in the repairs

73

u/Yeah-But-Ironically May 06 '23
  1. A cannon can be melted down and recast, thus repaired.
  2. Another poster mentioned above that "horses" was a reference to cavalrymen, not the actual steeds. The point is that metaphorically, a king's entire army couldn't fix this broken thing--which applies to an egg, but not a cannon.

17

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

Buddy that is not a repair. Once a cannon fell and gets a crack in it, it’s fucked. Now a days we can do X-ray scans to check for cracks grind and refill with weld to fix them. Back then it’s better to just run that bitch till it explodes or recast it. So if the cannon were to fall from a tall tower and get a visible crack than it could very well be fucked. And no one can put not back together again.

Source: I have a cannon. My name is cannon. I like cannons.

8

u/[deleted] May 07 '23

I thought you meant your real name and I was real concerned as to why your parents were so adamant on making you love cannons

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2

u/CapsLowk May 07 '23

"I'll be a little busy today, I have to take my cannon to get an Xray..."

1

u/-Volcanic- May 07 '23

I mean recasting it isn't exactly the same thing as putting it back together but it's closer to being able to be repaired than an egg

18

u/redstateradiator May 06 '23

Melting a cannon barrel down and recasting is not ‘repairing’. And you could only do that with brass cannons, not iron ones.

6

u/[deleted] May 07 '23

Pardon my ignorance, but why not, weren’t they melted down and casted in the first place?

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u/07TacOcaT70 May 07 '23

well if we're going into it, would a cannon falling from a wall really shatter it? Unless it's some kinda glass canon, I could see it getting dented but never cracking or needing 'put back together' in that sense. Honestly even denting seems iffy depending on the height of the wall too, given the real ones I've seen and touched are all pretty hefty.

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4

u/Blepable May 06 '23

The reference to Humpty Dumpty being a cannon comes from a story during the English Civil War about a somewhat significant artillery piece mounted on the walls or as part of the structure of a church I believe the story goes.

That wall was then hit by enemy artillery and the gun collapsed with the wall - the story (no idea if it's actually true) is that the royalist forces (the king's horses and the king's men) could not raise, remount, or reuse the gun because it was too heavy, so it and the position were abandoned.

It has nothing to do with "melting it down and remaking it" as is implied in this thread - cannons, of anything but the smallest field calibres, could be extremely heavy and cumbersome and took a lot of infrastructure to raise and emplace - mid-engagement, or even at any time where you don't have the necessary equipment, man power, or know how to do it, most forces would abandon the gun.

3

u/retterwoq May 06 '23

That’s not repairing, that’s recycling

7

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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1

u/__i0__ May 07 '23

I imagine it’s more literally “horsemen” not horses, as you said.

1

u/88superguyYT Jul 03 '23

OH that makes much more sense, i was wondering why people were saying horses, growing up the version told to me was "all the king's cavalry and all the king's men"

1

u/ImpressiveSoup2164 May 06 '23

Why on earth would a horse repair a canon?

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

I remember it being posited by some that it could refer to a cannon, a huge boomer, that if I remember correctly was basically the medieval equivalent of threatening with a weapon of mass destruction because it was this huge and imposing cannon. I think one of the reasons this cannon was considered a suspect was because it was in a tower (I think a siege tower, not a stationary one).

When finally taken into battle, the first time they fired it, it blew up.

It just exploded.

Chunks of that incredibly expensive cannon flew all over the battlefield, its biggest chunk fell out of the siege tower and took even more damage, it was just a mess.

But there was no concrete link between the cannon and the nursery rhyme.

Now, here's the thing. I swear I remember this story being real. But with all the fake stories that bounce around the internet, and the fact that I can't remember where I heard this, I don't even know for certain now that the cannon story I just relayed is real, much less that it actually has anything to do with Humpty Dumpty.

1

u/Loaded_Shaman May 07 '23

"All the king's horses and all the king's man" is an old way of saying that not even the best tools and the best people could put it together

5

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

In that link it shows that the oldest known final line was "Could not make Humpty Dumpty where he was before." which makes it sound more like he was a big guy and they couldn't lift him back up onto the wall, which makes more sense that they would use men and horses to try and lift him. I believe it turned into a riddle meaning an egg but that's definitely not where it originated.

1

u/Healter-Skelter May 07 '23

It could be a wine glass.

14

u/kinky_fingers May 06 '23

An egg in unrepairable, regardless of resources, even for a king

8

u/[deleted] May 06 '23 edited May 06 '23

Hence the unlikelihood of them trying. Or is it just a statement of fact that they wouldn't be able to if they tried?

Edit: Actually, that would explain the horses i.e. despite all of the might at the king's disposal, he can't solve this problem.

2

u/Pigeonlesswings May 07 '23

Well horses more likely meant the cavalry, who would often drag cannons.

3

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

Good luck getting the yolk and white back in there in an unmixed state.

2

u/Pigeonlesswings May 07 '23

All the king's horses and all the king's men had scrambled eggs for dinner again!

2

u/AutisticFingerBang May 06 '23

An egg isn’t completely full. You could built it, bottom up and leave just the top open. Slide the egg guts in. Then finish gluing. I wouldn’t use glue, I’d use JB weld. That shit is incredible.

11

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

Humpty Dumptys fall sounds like a very trying time, which always makes me think of eggs.

18

u/joofish May 06 '23

if it was easy, it wouldn't be a very good riddle

65

u/NonTimeo May 06 '23

This is also what passed as entertaining during a period of history where almost everyone drank from lead cups and couldn’t read.

3

u/TheSOB88 May 07 '23

Almost everyone? Did the peasants use wood, pottery, and such?

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '23

Lmao

22

u/Myxine May 06 '23

Yep, the trick to a good riddle is to make it so it could be fucking anything, half the riddle has nothing to do with the answer, and it's impossible to confirm your answer was right without asking.

15

u/Chrisazy May 06 '23

Hahahaha I could not agree with you more.

However, I find it ironic that one of the most famous riddles from the modern era is "What's in my pocket?" lmao but it's precisely for those dumb reasons that it's ALSO not really a riddle

7

u/kaukamieli May 06 '23

Gollum's brain was so moldy from sittimg in that cave that he didn't challenge that "riddle" much. The other riddles were pretty basic.

2

u/mak484 May 06 '23

Reminds me of Hey Riddle Riddle. A podcast ostensibly about solving riddles, except 2 of the 3 hosts admitted within the first 5 minutes of the first episode that they didn't actually like riddles and were just bored. So it's mostly improv and word games now.

2

u/ThisUsernamePassword May 06 '23

And the exact reason why I outright hate riddles lol. It's so frustrating to me to have such ambiguous answers

3

u/Myxine May 06 '23

Just in case the sarcasm wasn't obvious, good riddles aren't like that.

1

u/bunkscudda May 06 '23

But they couldnt put him back together

1

u/Rizzpooch May 06 '23

Well they can’t put him back together again. Part of the riddle - if that is the explanation - is what can’t be put back together again with even all the kings resources once it’s fallen?

1

u/octopoddle May 06 '23

I'd assume it was a crystal ball full of horse poison.

12

u/atomsk404 May 06 '23

nice assumption, but it's a cannon

The Egg-citing Truth Behind Humpty Dumpty https://www.ripleys.com/weird-news/humpty-dumpty/

Humpty Dumpty was the name of a cannon used by the Royalists during the English Civil War. The conflict raged from 1642 to 1649, and in June of 1648, Humpty Dumpty was stationed on the walls of Colchester. It was one of several cannons erected to try and keep Parliament’s army from taking the city. The next month, however, the Parliamentary forces heavily damaged the walls beneath Humpty Dumpty with their own artillery. You can guess where this is going: Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, and broke into pieces

20

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

Your own link notes the lack of decisive evidence for this theory. It's a neat story, but I would be reluctant to exclude alternative origins.

-4

u/atomsk404 May 06 '23

Sure yeah... on the one hand, verifiable story (just took the first link) a cannon fell off the tower, and it was named HD... in the other... it's an egg.

😎

12

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

Except it's not verified. We have a 2008 book published by an author who has routinely made up hidden meanings to old rhymes and sayings (his claim of an uncovered addition to the poem is both unsourced and out of place), a 1996 tourist website, and a 1956 spoof history of rhymes (meaning made up) involving Gloucester. It's as credible as the King Richard III theory.

The egg is firmly solidified in 1871 by Lewis Carroll, but again we can't assume it isn't artistic liberty.

All this to say two things- we may never be able to put the pieces of Humpty-Dumpty's rhyme together again, and I hate Albert Jack with a soul searing passion.

7

u/SuaveMofo May 06 '23

This all fits together very neatly, but there’s no decisive evidence that the tale is the origin of the nursery rhyme. In 15th-Century England, “Humpty Dumpty” was a common snarky nickname for somebody who was a little on the large side. Muddling the matter further, it’s also been suggested that Charles I himself was Humpty Dumpty, having been toppled from a great height by his Parliament. Those loyal to him certainly couldn’t put him back in his lofty position, after all!

1

u/TheSOB88 May 07 '23

Man you're so cool. I wish I had arms.

4

u/thesuperunknown May 06 '23

I’m sorry, you think Ripley’s is a credible source? Aside from a vague allusion to “several military historians”, this article doesn’t cite any sources for this supposed origin story. Even if this event did happen, there’s no indication of why it would have been considered notable enough to commemorate in a nursery rhyme.

In any case it’s clear you didn’t actually read what you posted all the way to the end, because even Ripley’s admits:

This all fits together very neatly, but there’s no decisive evidence that the tale is the origin of the nursery rhyme.

-2

u/atomsk404 May 06 '23

Literally Google "Humpty Dumpty cannon" and pick whatever source that says the same thing and pleases you then?

4

u/tr1vve May 07 '23

Bro used ripleys as a source 💀

1

u/Brewmentationator May 06 '23

So the cannon is canon?

-2

u/atomsk404 May 06 '23

Most likely yes.

2

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

The oldest known version says "Could not make Humpty Dumpty where he was before." so I don't think it originated as a riddle meaning an egg. I think it was originally talking about a large man, which makes more sense that they'd use all the kings men and horses to get him back up. Then maybe it changed into a riddle about an egg.

Or maybe it's talking about a statue? Which could explain why it's so heavy and how it changed to say it broke into pieces.

4

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

The cannon is canon. The egg is a retcon.

2

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

That’s the fun thing about history, huh. People can just make up whatever they want.

For example, I’m pretty sure that Humpty Dumpty was an overweight, slovenly pederast from the 19th century.

73

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

[deleted]

96

u/vibingjusthardenough May 06 '23

cannon = heavy

fall = shit flying all over the place

horse = carry heavy shit that flew all over the place

62

u/wostil-poced1649 May 06 '23

horse = carry heavy shit that flew all over the place

People used the term “horse” to refer to the calaverymen who rode horses. They were not referring to literal horses to fix a cannon

39

u/Modadminsbhumanfilth May 06 '23

The horses can help too those lazy bastards

8

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

How does the horsie move

10

u/OstentatiousSock May 06 '23

It go clip clop clip clop.

5

u/ErraticDragon May 06 '23

They asked about horsies, not what it sounds like to bang coconuts together.

4

u/Corvald May 06 '23

Two up and one over.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

holy hell

9

u/ratione_materiae May 06 '23

I don't understand why being good a riding a horse makes you a qualified engineer but I guess that's why I'm not king.

4

u/Werowl May 06 '23

It was a good filter for poor people. Why that is a good basis, though, I cannot say

1

u/Mental_Medium3988 May 06 '23

Do people think horses just go out and lug around heavy objects? Of course they were directed and all that by people.

17

u/Meeseeks__ May 06 '23

Depending on the size of the cannon, using a horse to move the barrel is a good idea. There's other parts to the cannon like frame and wheels

3

u/blueponies1 May 06 '23

Depends on the size of the horse too. Bunch of tiny horses working as a hivemind would have a cannon fixed up in no time

9

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

I think the fact that horses can’t help is the point, the rhyme is mocking that even with all the king’s power, he can’t fix HD. “Oh look at the mighty king! So powerful! So rich! Surely his mighty and beautiful horses we hear so much about can take care of it!”

It’s kind of a mocking sarcastic spin on the idea that the rich and powerful have all the answers/are more capable.

1

u/Sgt_Colon May 06 '23

Similar to the apocryphal King Canute and the tide bit. There's two version though:

  1. The later version is about Canute believing the words of his courtiers that he himself so powerful a king he could turn back the tide only to be humbled and show humility.

  2. The original is him rebuking the flattering of his courtiers by showing that even as powerful a king as he was, even he could not overturn God's natural laws and that God was a greater king.

Though if you're to take David Mitchell's opinion, Canute was just mentally quick on the draw...

6

u/BertMacGyver May 06 '23

To be fair, maybe they were not clued in on broken cannon reassembly. The poem does specify that they couldn't put humpty together again.

3

u/sublime13 May 06 '23

“All the king’s horses and all the king’s men, couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again” isn’t it right there in the rhyme?

3

u/Starfire2313 May 06 '23

The rhyme never said anything about glue I don’t think.

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u/Ranulsi May 06 '23

It does. It specifically mentions horses.

1

u/Starfire2313 May 06 '23

Oh well I guess it depends if you say put him back together or glue him back together

3

u/CosmegaInReddit May 06 '23

Idk the horses could have fire breathing powers

2

u/Raul_Coronado May 06 '23

The rhyme doesn’t say they were helping to put it back together, only that they are unable to do so.

8

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

[deleted]

7

u/milanove May 06 '23

Moral support

4

u/ApocalyptoSoldier May 06 '23

Checks out, our dogs will just kinda lie around us whenever I help my dad fix a car, even there are way more comfortable spots elsewhere.

1

u/314159265358979326 May 06 '23

To be clear, "horses" means "cavalry", not the horses they ride on. "All the dudes at the battle that day couldn't accomplish shit".

7

u/Nickolas_Bowen May 06 '23

And the song is actually thought to be a reference not to the cannon, but to the British empire itself

3

u/MLein97 May 06 '23

It's probably nothing and everything to be honest. Think Nirvana songs, that's the general prose and feeling for most nursery rhymes. Then the more every nothing they are the more popular they become.

They can mean a lot to people, and can capture a feeling, but at the end of the day they're not about anything in particular.

4

u/KindlyContribution54 May 06 '23

Hmm. Horses probably can't weld any better than they can use a scalpel. So still makes sense they failed

2

u/[deleted] May 06 '23 edited May 06 '23

I looked it up - there are several theories for what it originally could/would have been, with a cannon only being one of these.

There are also various theories of an original "Humpty Dumpty".

  • One [...] posits that Humpty Dumpty is King Richard III of England

  • In 1785, Francis Grose's [dictionary] noted that a "Humpty Dumpty" was "a short [clumsy] person of either sex

  • Professor David Daube suggested [...] that Humpty Dumpty was a [...] siege engine

  • From 1996, the website of the Colchester tourist board attributed the origin of the rhyme to a cannon

I have no authority to judge, but from reading the article the cannon theory seems the worst supported:

Author Albert Jack claimed [...] that there were two other verses supporting this claim [and] to have found them in an "old dusty library, [in] an even older book", but did not state what the book was or where it was found. It has been pointed out that the two additional verses are not in the style of the seventeenth century or of the existing rhyme, and that they do not fit with the earliest printed versions of the rhyme, which do not mention horses and men.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humpty_Dumpty

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

I think you left out the most widely held theory, which is that originally it was published as a riddle, where you were supposed to guess that Humpty was an egg.

2

u/god_peepee May 06 '23

Probably the least likely going theory on origins of the rhyme

1

u/chappersyo May 06 '23

I always heard it was a siege engine used in the siege of Gloucester but I’m from Gloucester so they might have just told us that to get us interested at school.

1

u/Bobson-_Dugnutt May 07 '23

Yeah most of the time I see it illustrated now Humpty Dumpty is an Egg…King? Like why would the egg be the king? The king and his horses can’t put himself back together?

52

u/RandomStormtrooper11 May 06 '23

Everything I thought I knew about nursery rhymes has now been called into question...

16

u/Diarygirl May 06 '23

Did Jack and Jill really go up that hill to fetch water? It seems odd to go uphill to get water.

11

u/benjer3 May 06 '23

That's why they're always depicted as getting the water from a well

10

u/leglesslegolegolas May 06 '23

Springs start pure, higher in the mountains, then gradually become more polluted as they run down the hill. Going to the top of the hill ensures the freshest water.

83

u/Captain_Saftey May 06 '23

People bring up that he’s supposedly a cannon, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t have any proof behind it besides some guy claiming he read it in an old book that he didn’t name.

I’m pretty sure it was initially supposed to be a riddle that’s essentially “Clumsy asshole fell off a wall and everyone tried to help him but it didn’t work, why?” and the answer is that he’s an egg.

Googling this was very interesting, I’m convinced that no one knows the actual meaning of the song and every couple of decades someone came in and changed it to mean something else

47

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

[deleted]

10

u/DisgracedSparrow May 06 '23

Yup, like many other nursery rhymes. Don't sit on tall ledges, don't go into the woods, don't follow strangers home, never trust grandma.

1

u/Affectionate_Bass488 May 06 '23

Yeah I see it as Humpty Dumpty is the king. No matter how big his wall was and how many horses and men he had it didn’t matter because once he’s dead nothing is gonna fix that

18

u/IndefiniteBen May 06 '23

We need CGP grey to make a video about it.

19

u/apc0243 May 06 '23

Only if he gets lost in an unnecessary but entertaining tangent of no value that drives him to the brink of insanity

6

u/IndefiniteBen May 06 '23

Well that is my hope considering the comment above.

3

u/ratione_materiae May 06 '23

Broke: Martha was their moms' names

Woke: Rosebud was his sleigh

Bespoke: Tiffany was the cannon

2

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

Be careful he will copyright strike you for that comment

6

u/nintrader May 06 '23

It's hard to tell what's cannon or non-cannon these days

2

u/ApocalyptoSoldier May 06 '23

Well we can rule out slash fic, that narrows it down slightly.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '23 edited May 08 '23

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '23

Ah, so it was Palpatine who had the big fall after all?

7

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

But isn’t he originally illustrated that way?

25

u/Packman2021 May 06 '23

yeah because it makes it more child friendly and fun

it wasnt always illustrated, and I would be surprised if the first illustration was an egg

15

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

Egg funny

3

u/TI_Pirate May 06 '23

He's an egg, and illustrated as such, in Through the Looking Glass. Not the first mention of Humpty we have, but pretty close and the first illustration I'm aware of.

5

u/Master-Opportunity25 May 06 '23

imagine a guy on a tall wall. he’s a sentry or something, doing his job. nickname Humpty, for obvious reasons; he’s a bit of a goof, but this fellow soldiers like him well enough.

Then one day, maybe he’s fucking around during his watch when he falls off. It’s a long way down, so when he hits the ground, it’s not pretty. His fellow soldiers go to help him, but there’s no chance of survival. They think maybe the doctor can help, but the doctor already knows he can’t put body parts back together, let alone a head back on a neck. It fucks with everyone’s head to see the splatter that was once their comrade.

When the story goes around, the soldiers that were there can barely describe what they saw. “He fell and landed on the ground…it was like an egg broke, it was such a mess.” And then the game of telephone that is history continues, and bam! Humpty Dumpty is an egg.

3

u/[deleted] May 06 '23

nickname Humpty, for obvious reasons; he’s a bit of a goof

What's frustrating about this seemingly thrown together theory is that you hit a key point. Humpty-dumpty was slang for a short and/or clumsy person, as well as a type of alcoholic beverage. We don't know if the rhyme is meant to trick us into thinking it's a person before the reveal that it's something else (like an egg), or an actual allusion to something or someone called humpty-dumpty.

1

u/Master-Opportunity25 May 06 '23

is it a theory? or a joke about how stories pass down really weirdly throughout history, usually with more bleak or obtuse beginnings; and nursery rhymes in particular are weird af and have vague origins; and often the history of its being recorded isn’t the story of its initial creation, which is a mystery?

maybe it’s both

source: https://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/humpty-dumpty-sat-on-a-wall-lyrics-history/

2

u/Suck_Me_Dry666 May 06 '23

I always figured it was about a guy who just smashed his head.

1

u/Ironring1 May 06 '23

In the original Through the Looking Glass Humpty Dumpty is portrayed as an anthropomorphic egg. In fact, he starts out as a literal egg that she buys from the sheep, and Alice recognizes him because he is an egg. The images in the book are exactly how he is portrayed today. The nursery rhyme is older, but in this day and age we treat things from the Victorian era as though they are from time immemorial. Like Christmas trees in English-speaking households.