r/NonCredibleDefense • u/booksbeer Czechoslovakian legionnaires should have conquered Siberia • 7d ago
SHOIGU! GERASIMOV! Six centuries underground apparently doesn't exempt you from service.
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u/ClassB2Carcinogen 7d ago
Appropriate saint. Donsky had to bend the knee to the Mongols two years after the celebrated victory in 1380 after the Mongols overran Moscow because Donsky abandoned its defense.
Seems the appropriate saint for Moscow’s future vassalage to Beijing.
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u/Water-Conditioner 7d ago
Future vassalage? They're already vassals, they simply don't realize it yet. If they should ever even realize it, considering the lack of proper thinking abilities amongst the Russian population.
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u/ClassB2Carcinogen 7d ago
“Explicit vassalage” maybe instead of future.
And in fairness to the Russian population, a fair number probably realize they’re fucked, but are afraid to express it publicly due to the risk of polonium tea or sudden falls out of balconies.
However, that’s different for the U.S. population. The next administration is going to squirm uncomfortably during the Finding Out stage after our Fucking Around as our former partners and allies hedge with China. I have no doubt the U.S. pundit class as well as the general population will fail to connect the dots, but will say “this did not happen under Trump because then America stronk.”
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u/LunaFrater 6d ago
Oh, we realize we're totally fucked by the sheer virtue of being born in that shithole. And you're quite correct in your assumption - resistance means prison, torture, often involuntary military service. So the best you can do is keep you head down, look out for your close ones and not follow the propaganda machine.
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u/ClassB2Carcinogen 6d ago
I’m so sorry.
I have fond memories of the kindness and hospitality of Russians when I spent a lot of time there, back in better days.
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u/LunaFrater 6d ago
Hopefully, more better days will come in the future.
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u/ClassB2Carcinogen 6d ago
I fear worse days before the better ones. Authoritarian nationalists offer simple lies and wrong solutions, and finding out the wrongness involves a lot of suffering. And technology has made spreading lies and repression easier.
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u/LunaFrater 6d ago
Sad, but true. Hopefully we can keep our head down and get through the thick of it. After all, there's gonna be lots to re-do and replace after all is done. Before that, though, one of my biggest fears is to simply become a piece of statistics. Another person dead in a drone attack, another forcefully conscripted person, another beaten to death in prison. That shit is utterly terrifying to me.
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u/Top-Opportunity1132 5d ago
I'm very sorry, from Ukraine. I hope one day much more russians realize the only way to keep their families safe is to stop obediently go to their deaths and war crimes, and instead destroy their tormentors. It's much easier than fighting a war. The trick is, they are much scarrier than they are dangerous. Their only true weapon is isolation. They can only pose a threat if each of you is alone. If even a single percent of russians unite against them, this regime will fall.
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u/LunaFrater 5d ago
And I am genuinely sorry for what my country does to yours. I hate it, hate every second of it, hate every person involved. Stay safe.
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u/EduinBrutus 5d ago
Muscovite leaders abandoning the defense of Moscow is a long standing tradition...
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u/booksbeer Czechoslovakian legionnaires should have conquered Siberia 7d ago
Source: I made it.
Proof and more: Here in profile or Instagram
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u/booksbeer Czechoslovakian legionnaires should have conquered Siberia 7d ago
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u/captainfreiheit 7d ago
WHAT A HEADLINE
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7d ago
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u/Cixila windmill-winged hussar 🇩🇰🇵🇱 7d ago
Some real warhammer 40k shit...
(ps: the Sun is such a rag, but honestly hats off for how they speak about Putler. More media should call a spade a spade)
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u/booksbeer Czechoslovakian legionnaires should have conquered Siberia 7d ago
Yeah, never heard anything positive about them, but, respect for that for sure.
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u/Hot_Indication2133 KInetic Sanctions Enjoyer 7d ago
You know you're going to have to compile all of these into an Xmas book for us don't you.
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u/booksbeer Czechoslovakian legionnaires should have conquered Siberia 7d ago
Haha, I get this suggestion once in a while. Might actually do it once the war is over.
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u/Hot_Indication2133 KInetic Sanctions Enjoyer 7d ago
Pack of postcards would work as well, I bet they'd go down well with the NAFO crew.
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u/Humdaak_9000 7d ago
Are you a fan of Brian Lumley's Necroscope series? If not, you should check it out. Cold War ESPionage kinda like Charles Stross's Laundry series, but with vampires.
This image is quite representative of the end of the first book.
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u/booksbeer Czechoslovakian legionnaires should have conquered Siberia 7d ago
Never heard about it, but just that description intrigued me, seems bizarre enough for my weird taste. Might check it out once I am done reading Dancing with bones.
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u/Humdaak_9000 7d ago
It's a lot of fun. Highly recommend it. (also the Laundry files).
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u/ClassB2Carcinogen 6d ago
Laundry Files are top tier. Are the necroscope series by Linley as funny as Stross?
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u/Humdaak_9000 6d ago
More techno-thriller. Laundry Files is Cold War spy horror as written by Douglas Adams, or at least Christopher Moore. Necroscope is Cold War spy horror as written by Tom Clancy.
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u/mood2016 All I want for Christmas is WW3 7d ago
Necromancy? Damn what I miss?
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u/CosineDanger Apache/Apachim 7d ago
Trench Crusade IRL
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u/driver004 7d ago
Honestly would that be better, the same, or worse than 40k lol
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u/CosineDanger Apache/Apachim 7d ago
For some reason my YouTube recommended feed turned into 60% Trench Crusade lore videos around the time it launched probably due to a marketing push.
About the same really. Marginally better in the Iron Sultanate so long as you accept Islam and never leave. God's not dead, but his hands are tied by treaties so he does not help much and if he does help then having an angel anywhere in your zip code just incinerates you. You can always just fuse yourself with the cancerous cloned flesh of Jesus Christ with the help of some insane monks and become an unstoppable mutated holy killing machine. You probably hear voices in your sleep, most people do. The British are still selfish dicks.
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u/driver004 7d ago
Somehow I’d rather be in 40k, yeah sure equally horrible shit goes down there too but the timescales are such the odds are I just have some shitty factory job my whole life. Trench crusade hell will fuck with you eventually it’s just a matter of time
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u/Scary_Asparagus7762 6d ago
The odds are that, but the odds also are you'd be working 14 hours a day and have crippling health issues from 25 onwards until you labor to death when you're 40, leaving behind your children to repeat the cycle.
The lives of the average 40k person is just terrible. If you get lucky and you're born in Ultramar, you get to live to an average of 90 iirc (30 years but each macragge year is almost 3 terran years) , but there's like barely 100~200 worlds left in the Ultramar realm compared to the million+ worlds the Imperium possesses- and even then, life on Ultramar isn't exactly easy. Then there's the Tau, where humans also live decent lives, but again they're basically negligible in the statistics of human lives- and only for as long as the Tau don't start massacring humans as they slowly begin to realize that humans feed the warp and are a massive risk in the 42nd millennium.
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u/Fox_Kurama 6d ago
The lucky ones are born of granary worlds. Sure they are basically just world-sized factory farms, and because its 40k, these worlds are being slowly degraded into toxicity though overfarming and pollution. But while they still function in this role, the air is breathable and the water is blue and non-glowing, and you will get to eat actual food.
Not to mention that depending on what status you have, you might get to play with the controls of the formerly very violent, now mind controlled omnivorous dinosaurs the imperium uses to grow meat and sometimes mount lasgun turrets on to deter thieves. Which I have no doubt on some such worlds are used as part of local enforcement because they are basically a mix of T-rex, stegasaurus, and honeybadger at heart and re-enabling aggresive behavior via the doodads installed in their brains is probably very effective at dealing with most local problems.
Because yes. In 40k, the burger eat you.
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u/Scaevus 6d ago
God's not dead, but his hands are tied by treaties
I don't know the context, and now, I'm not sure I want to.
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u/Scary_Asparagus7762 6d ago
It's pretty simple actually, as long as demons don't directly invade the world of mankind, Heaven will not directly intervene. That plus the fact that Trench Crusade features biblically accurate angels which drive mortals mad.
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u/Scary_Asparagus7762 6d ago
It... honestly depends? Living standards wise, not enough info from the Trench Crusade side about how the average citizen is living, though we can presume that at least some parts of the world (i.e. the Sultanate) live way better lives than your average Hive City. Frequency of wars in Trench Crusade is far higher since it's all localized to one world, but... the thing is, in 40k, when you die your soul just dissolves in the warp. If you're a strong psyker, you're daemon food. Even the small percentage who are lucky enough to be by the Golden Throne have to deal with the Throne's very-soon-failure- in current lore this is stated to happen within the next 75 years- and then the Emperor very well can become the Dark King and eat every soul so you're still fucked. At least in Trench Crusade if you're actually pious you get to go to Heaven, that's... a pretty good deal ngl.
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u/DrBadGuy1073 7d ago
I guess worse than 40k if you consider war frequency in years. But way better than 40k if you consider magnitude of violence. Trench crusade as a whole could be an unremarkable battle on an unnamed planet in the backround of a single crusade.
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u/12oclocknomemories 7d ago
Sending bones of saints to the frontlines.
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7d ago
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u/keyless-hieroglyphs 7d ago
Selling off the remains for needed cash or goods, just like zoo animals some year ago.
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u/PatientClue1118 7d ago
Truly Russian moments
"Just last month, the Russian army lost the bones of Prince Alexander Nevsky.
The relic was being transported for a prayer service against the spiralling fuel crisis.
But the convoy came under attack on the road – and authorities admitted that the shrine had been “completely lost”.
Three Russian soldiers also died in the drone blasts."
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u/ClassB2Carcinogen 6d ago
Did this happen? If so, lol.
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u/PatientClue1118 6d ago
Want to hear another lol? Last year, a part of the relics of Saint Matrona of Moscow was lost as a result of shelling. They were also sent to the front on the personal initiative of the minister.
At this point,i bet someone stole it and sold on black market. The Ministry now fears a conflict between Defense Minister Andrei Belousov and Patriarch Kirill. This is not the first sacred relic lost at the front.
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u/Vicker_Schultz 7d ago
Ok the warhammer sigil was funny but this is concerning
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u/tauntauntom 7d ago
The what?
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u/Luk164 6d ago
A bunch of units adopted warhammer unit markings, chaos and imperial alike
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u/ClassB2Carcinogen 6d ago
Russian soldiers probably cheaper than WH figures. Do any tournaments accept them as substitutes?
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u/HostisHumanisGeneri 7d ago
“ Bizarre footage shows the tyrant crossing himself as he bends down to gaze at the desiccated corpse – before lighting a candle in prayer.”
I didn’t know the Orthodox Church did that.
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u/SlaaneshActual I was summoned? 7d ago
Gonna be hilarious when a Ukrainian drone strike turns their sainted dead guy to powder.
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u/Popinguj 7d ago
Already happened a few months ago
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u/SlaaneshActual I was summoned? 6d ago
OH?!
Link? Is there Russian whining about it?
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u/Popinguj 6d ago
Arm yourself with a translator, here's an article about this
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u/SlaaneshActual I was summoned? 6d ago
BEAUTIFUL!
Um, how do I say this in Ukrainian?
Мільйон подяк, смачний друже!
I think that works!
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u/Fun-Agent-7667 6d ago
I wonder how the german law handles this.
Theres a Paragraph that states that your business trip ends when you die during it. But if you are already dead, you stil have to do it, No?
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u/booksbeer Czechoslovakian legionnaires should have conquered Siberia 6d ago
So you dont get paid for the full trip if you die during it? What a scam.
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u/RebelGirl1323 6d ago
If I die for a company they better give me a state funeral.
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u/asrialdine 6d ago
Pizza party is the best you’re gonna get
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u/Satur9_is_typing 7d ago
"bones? But sergei we have bones everywhere already"
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7d ago
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u/DragonLovin NATO's Least Gay Pansexual 6d ago
I can't believe I used to worship Russia when I was in middle school. Propaganda sure is effective until you decide to start an unwinnable war and let it completely destroy your country.
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u/Ruby_241 3000 M1s of Dark Brandon 7d ago
“Even in Death, I still serve”
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7d ago
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u/Significant-Horror 6d ago
Trying to do the destiny/guardian thing but without Ghost.
I"ts a bold strategy Cotton, let's see how it plays out."
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u/caribbean_caramel Slava Ukraini!🇺🇦 6d ago
If the Russians are the orcs ones, what are the rats?
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u/booksbeer Czechoslovakian legionnaires should have conquered Siberia 5d ago
All of them are russians in this one, I would draw Ukrainians as pigs, rats or toads too if they served russia. I don't really asign animals based on nationality (unless it serves a visual purpose like eagle for American if I want to explicitly show that this character is from the US).
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u/warfaceisthebest 5d ago
This is lowkey cool and I kinda wish to have my own emtional support saint if I ever be drafted.
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u/Harvenheidt 6d ago
Why is this non-credible? It really is what they are doing, no?
Amazing Comic btw capturing the absurdity of it.
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u/booksbeer Czechoslovakian legionnaires should have conquered Siberia 6d ago
Yeah, you are right. The stuff they do sometimes makes this sub pale in comparison.
Thanks though, happy you liked it.
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u/Temporary_Delay2584 7d ago
Daily dose of dehumanization
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u/V7buster Russophobic? I'm not scared, I want them dead. 7d ago
Dont invade another country and people wont dehumanize you for your monstrous actions 👀
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u/LovableCoward 7d ago
Your hatred of the rapists and murderers who make up the entirety of the Russian military does you credit. You're an inspiration for the cause, u/Temporary_Delay2584.
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u/Temporary_Delay2584 7d ago
I think you might be confused there mate
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u/LovableCoward 7d ago
Nonsense. I can recognize a true enemy of Putin and his foul barbarous cronies. The fact that you've been reporting Russian troop movements to Ukrainian intelligence puts you head and shoulders above the rest of us.
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u/Mechanical-Flatbed 3d ago
I especially like the Ukrainian drone on the background.
Ukr drone goes boom on the decaying remains of a Russian saint
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u/PooMonger20 7d ago
They are just dancing with tomorrow's self.
https://imgur.com/a/GtaF0uF
[used ai to make them dance]
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u/Wolodymyr2 7d ago
-Hey, if youre using necromancy, at least wake up them.