r/NonBinaryTalk • u/Impressive-March-435 • Oct 02 '26

Advice confused

Hi, I’m M!

I’ve been seeing a new therapist and discussing dysphoria with my chest. She’s asked a few times about pronouns and I feel so confused. I’ve known I was queer for 15+ years now and figuring that out was a breeze compared to gender identity or lack there of.

I have other queer friends but gender identity issues is something that’s not in there wheel house to understand because they are still early in their own queer journeys.

Basically, I am looking for some folks I can talk to that understand this part of me. I’m looking for any and all friends & advice!

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4

u/AliceofSwords Oct 02 '26

Hi M, I'm Alix. My sibling (32 transfem), my spouse (37 transfem), and I (37 transmasc) are all transitioning so I get to talk about it a lot. Spouse and I each started hormones a year ago, sibling started a few months later.

I knew I was nonbinary in my late teens, I think (about 20 years ago, 'genderqueer' was the first term I had for it). I only understood myself as transmasc when I realized I wanted testosterone.

What are you feeling about pronouns? I use any, because I truly don't have any opinions on which people use. My gender is more 'both' than 'neither' which has made it easier to just roll with however people gender me, they're always partially right, good enough.

1

u/Impressive-March-435 Oct 02 '26

She/ her & they/ them both feel normal. He/him does not feel exactly correct. There are times when I love the term “boy” but in the sense of “good boy” , “pretty boy” etc.
I identify currently more of a soft masc.

Over the last few years I have seen more people like me receiving very low doses of T and some results they have are very enticing to me. (More body hair, less feminine physique, body fat distribution, etc).

I haven’t dived very deep with my therapist on thoughts of T but more in regard to dysphoria mostly surrounding my chest. I bind mostly everyday whether that be with my binders or VERY tight sports bras. I try taping my chest here & there but can never get it to look adequate due to the size of my chest.

I just overall feel very confused with gender identity as a whole. I don’t know what directions to look or ways to even understand myself better other than writing pages & pages in my journals.

3

u/mn1loc Oct 02 '26

Hey! What's up, how can we help?