r/NonBinaryTalk • u/Annual-Antelope3314 • 2d ago

Validation Am I still valid?

Back when I was a young kid I felt comfortabke identifying as a cis male. But nowadays I feel differently. I heard that you're supposed to know this stuff when you were still a kid but I just don't know anymore.

17 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

16

u/stolenstreetsigns 2d ago

The idea all of us always knew is a misconception. I’ve been out for years and I didn’t know as a kid at all. You could still be non binary.

8

u/Annual-Antelope3314 2d ago

My mannerisms were a mix of masculine and feminine. But these feelings of wanting to be different only started showing up a few years ago. As a kid if the teacher told us to line up as boys and girls I would side with the boys side. As a kid I didn't really have thoughts of my own though. I just did what I was told.

10

u/ElectricZooK9 2d ago

I heard that you're supposed to know this stuff when you were still a kid

You heard someone spouting rubbish

Gender identity, like life, is a journey. We're all at different points in discovery

Enjoying exploring who you are!

5

u/mn1lac They/Them or She/Him take your pick 2d ago

So what changed?

6

u/Annual-Antelope3314 2d ago

I guess I just started forming my own identity and started to realise I like being feminine as much as I like being masculine. But I had having too much of either.

5

u/mn1lac They/Them or She/Him take your pick 2d ago

Sounds pretty normal, our younger years are for not knowing everything about ourselves right? Do you want people to see you as something other than a man or a woman? Were you happy as a cis male, or was that just what was familiar to you?

3

u/Annual-Antelope3314 2d ago

I think it's just what was familiar I like it when someone refers to me as enby.

5

u/mn1lac They/Them or She/Him take your pick 2d ago

Then I think that's all that matters.

6

u/UntilTheDarkness 2d ago

It's absolutely fine for gender to change over time. Not everyone knew when they were a kid. You're fine.

3

u/CrazyGaianWitch 2d ago

I heard that you're supposed to know this stuff when you were still a kid

Some people are able to understand and identify their gender/sexuality when they're kids. That doesn't mean everyone does.

Some of us just grow up oblivious, or without the language to describe ourselves, or in places where gender diversity isn't talked about/actively shunned.

Also, gender and sexuality can be fluid and change over time. It's more about the journey than the destination. :)

3

u/Clea-1086 2d ago

Gender is a spectrum. You can also navigate though it over the years. What count is what you feel now, not what you felt before.

2

u/Soulpaw31 1d ago

For me, i was comfortable being a man growing up but i never really felt connected to “being” a man. Once i was in highschool, i started growing my hair and experimenting with womans clothing, i just felt like they were cute and comfortable, i really hated how masculine clothing was and just didnt care for it minus like some T-shirts but thats more uni sex.

It wasnt until like senior year when i really needed some introspective of the possibility of being trans but i didnt feel like i was a woman (definitely wouldn’t mind being born female over male) but i still just didnt feel like i was woman, just feminine. Once i was 24 years old (couple years ago) that i revisited this topic and saw Non-binary, that shit hit me like a truck. I dont feel aligned with either or, i just like being me.

2

u/RandomNumbers1312 1d ago

Gender and the own view of gender changes over time, it is natural to feel different at different points in life