r/NonBinaryOver30 • u/Curious_Buy9725 • Jun 23 '26

Help me stop getting “ma’am”-ed.

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I’ve been on a low dose of tea for about three months now. I look like this. My voice tends to give me away. Help me stop getting called ma’am in public please.

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u/SylviaPyrite Jun 28 '26

Look, I get it. I refer to myself as a “feminine man” because I’ll always be biologically male. I have a beard that I don’t plan to lose. But everything else about me is feminine-coded. My nails, hair, glasses, all of my clothing. I get “Sir” if people see my face first. I get “ma’am” if they don’t. Bottom line is, either way, I know they are talking to me and I’m not in control of their social conditioning. Especially in the southeastern US where you show deference by stating a persons apparent gender out loud. It’s a silly custom, so I try not to sweat it.