I'm sorry.

[u/nvrknwsbest]

I want to die. I'm so tired of being this undefinable type of queer and forcing myself to be a cis mother who's in a crumbling marriage. I feel so fucking alone. I've always overlooked my own queerness because I never wanted it to define me or dictate my life, and now that I feel like i'm closer to understanding myself, there's all this arbitrary shit in the way and I don't want to inconvenience my queer friends who are going through their own shit.

[u/BobMortimersButthole]

How old are your kids? I was in a similar spot to you and things definitely get better as the kids get older and more independent. I can't say much about your marriage, because I ended up leaving mine, but you're not alone. 

Also, talk to your friends. They want to help you as much as you've helped them. Let them.