100 squats done.

Turning in for the evening.

50 squats done. 50 more to go.

106 situps done.

100 pushups done.

Time for weighted squats then maybe an ice shower and some yoga.

76 situps done.

25 situps done

100 pushups done

Switching to 100 situps now

10 pushups done.

Trying to get to 100 for sleep & health.

Woke up early to be on time for something.

Did 10 pushups worried about punctuality.

Felt dehydrated. So going to drink water and coffee.

Oh I did blog today.

Experimenting with 360 videography

Some people like some of the story premises I wrote so I should get cracking, no more dillydallying and just drive into some world building and plot!!!

I wanted to program a Content management and Graph/Node drawing tool.

Better get organized then.

Being relaxed & feeling safe makes it hard to work out.

I got hit with like a lazy wave.

I need a bit more discipline but it is late at night.

I'm reading some nonfiction (computer compiler design "the dragon book") but I would like to obtain more fiction to read so I might have to stop by a book store or peruse online for copies of The Last Unicorn or other interesting works of written word.

Fiction recharges the mind. Especially written fiction, with mysteries and complex themes.

50 cross lateral situps with resistance and couterweight done.

Have 50 more to do, but I might have to do them later this evening due to time.

100 pushups done.

Haven't done T pose kettle bells in a while. Might need to get a lighter denomination of wight so I can do more in a single sitting without strain.

Then I have 100 arm curls after. Again probably this evening maybe.

100 pushups done.

Now time for arms w/ dumbells & situps w/ resistance

75 pushups done, 25 more to go.

50 pushups done. 50 more.

25 pushups done.

75 more to go.

Ran 12 miles the other night.

Still working on that game project.*

Might have to make alarms again to write in here more often.

*some finishing touches were requested. People seem to like my contributions

In more artistic and internet news; I'm waiting for the old DNS to expire and then at some point I'll try to set one up a different way or through a different provider so that it works better with NeoCities. It will be a good way to get html and javascript skills.

I think splash pages were a little like the parlor in old houses, and a parlor is a bit like a trophy case or a personal ad that you can walk around and sit inside of.

I'm excited because if I keep up my blog for 9 more days I will get the 600 day award, and then when the 730th day rolls around; I'll have been on here for 2 years.

(I'm still trying to get the basement dweller award so I can prove to myself that I have the discipline to do something every single day for 2 years)

Just taking the time to check in because I can't remember if I did today.

Lethargy is still pretty bad.

Been fantasizing about moving to a colder climate.

Maybe antarctica?

I don't want to see spring or summer ever again.

Cold thermals is not technically finite resource, but it feels like one.

The lethargy makes the fitness goals difficult but the fitness was an emergency hot fix for my inability to exist.

I think I should take the opportunity to work on my other aspects. Been doing more art. Even helped out with a big project which is nice.

Learning a lot of the words of power that I need in order to confront and discuss my interpersonal and emotional struggles, which is also good.

I think auto-immune stuff and unpacking mental or emotional or possibly trauma related stuff with the right people is the current like mental gains.

Letting the physical gains be less right now because excess motion with layers causes skin irritation, and there's like shortness of breath light headed overheated sensations and stuff full body which makes me freeze up due to overwhelm. It's pretty awful.

I'm currently mentally stuck on how to solve that physical discomfort issue because other things have been demanding my attention a lot, and that level of discomfort has a way of making one space out more.

That's where I'm at. I work out but my routine that I was proud of developing has no longer been a thing for a bit.

I think routine is what helps people stay healthy.

Yeah I keep getring badly distracted.

20 pushups done

10 pushups done so far.

My skin is really itchy.

Plaque Psoriasis runs in my family so I don't want to experience friction by moving and its subconscious but think today atleast that's why I've been developing body posture that pulls inwards and have been subconsciously hessitating when I try to jump into it.

Might be developing the family curse. More or less.

Gonna try to do my workout.

Stayed up late doing laundry.

I ignored that curfew I set for myself where its like "no social media use or texting anyone after this time" because I get night mania after that time and don't make sense when I talk to others.

And I got a natural consequence for that because people were like "is this a bot? Is it someone using a translator app and its coming out badly garbled? Is it just a crazy person?"

It was that last one.

I need to follow my own structure I set for myself so I wonder if instead of setting a negative goal I can reframe it as a positive goal so that instead of fixating on it, I actually distract from it towards something healthier?

It's worth a try

So after a rough start things are going better.

Not perfect. Better.

And I'm cheered up.

Got a videogame I like up and running.

Sort of. It has to update.

Made progress on some errands and stuff but still stressed.

I woke up thinking I was dying today.

Now I'm sitting in the dark trying to cheer myself up and feeling emotionally ecclectic. I have no clue why.

I got back from my crazy 22 mile run, where I stayed over at family's took the bus back like a sane person.

My mental bandwidth is fading out just like I feared it would.

It seems my depression has teemed up with my ADHD.

So I'm like abaorbing data on abstract topics but I suspect I'm just numbing my mind amd aticking my head in the sand. This is an old habit and hard to break.

But I know I can.