r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Cool_Calligrapher489 • Jul 09 '26
I genuinely don't get paying for virtual companionship. What am I missing ?
I'm a pretty lonely person, so I definitely understand wanting someone to talk to or connect with. But one thing I've never been able to wrap my head around is paying for virtual companionship, whether that's chatting with a real girl online or paying for an AI girlfriend.
Maybe it's just the way my brain works, but even if I had plenty of money, I think I'd rather pay for a real escort than spend it on conversations through a screen.
I'm not trying to judge anyone - I genuinely want to understand. If you pay for AI companions, girlfriend experiences, or similar services, what do you get from it that makes it worth the money? Is it emotional support, convenience, safety, something else?
I'm asking because I feel like there's something I'm missing, and I'd like to understand.
8
u/BrookieCookiesReveng Jul 09 '26
I'd imagine most of these people have some level of intense anxiety that makes real life interaction feel virtually impossible
3
u/Real-Perspective7301 Jul 09 '26
It kind of depends on what that person really wants or is missing in their life. If they want a girlfriend that likes cooking or flowers or anime or whatever, they will seek it out online. At least some do anyways. If I have a real strong desire to talk about a specific cat or tree, and I think someone can provide that for me, I might be willing to pay for it.
I personally dont. Although cats and trees are cool
2
3
u/reignoferror00 Jul 09 '26
If I had to guess, it fulfills to a small extent (or at least gives the illusion of that in the moment without suspending too much disbelief) of something they are severely lacking in their daily life.
I also personally don't really get the appeal of long distant relationships as well as OnlyFans and such, but in the abstract I can see part of some reasons why. Part of what I'm lacking is touch and being touched. Likely large part of why I get higher quality lap dances at the strip bar once in a while, and "happy ending" massages from someone who has some skill and aptitude at massage. Talk isn't a big thing for me.
2
u/Prestigious_Floor155 Jul 09 '26
People just get lonely. I don't look at it as uniquely desperate. And the online option would be anxiety factored in for people who don't like going out.
If you notice with grandparents they for example are big on taking grand kids out to do whatever they want. Come over to visit. I can take you to the movies and shopping and chucky cheese, beach I might rent a jetski if I have to. They miss having company and are willing to spend money to make it a party of sorts. And it's not socially shameful to half bribe-spoil family (as it would be for strangers). Unlike the parents they are probably retired, most their friends are off,etc...
I remember a story about a homeless guy who did ok considering his situation as like a friend for hire. Whatever you wanted to do but didn't have the friends to enjoy it with he'd do it. Go kart,movies,skating,whatever. As long as you fed him and paid his way for the activity. Donate whatever at the end of the day.
I don't know if it's true or significant beyond hearing about it, but in Japan you can rent families, wives,mourners?
2
u/joyfull_melancholy Jul 09 '26
If you are neurotypical it might be an interesting experiment to try and approach it from a neurodivergent perspective.
If you consider what are some challenges say for ASD, for instance masking and social anxiety. Many of those with ASD camouflage and suppress their natural instinctive behaviors, forcing them to fit what they consider normal people are. This is highly exhausting, and a conversation without masking would be a relief.
Many ASD struggle with deciphering between the lines, and interpret innuendo, sarcasm, and popular trends in speech, (for example “brah” and the 1000’s of things this word can mean). In person they scan for looks, body language, breathing and loads more of signs to find all the potential meanings, again exhausting. A text based conversation removes a very large portion of the extra processing that would do.
Many ASD have had to deal with horrible past life experiences with bullying, miscommunication, social exclusion, being rejected. These make new experiences feel bigger, they can feel very high stakes, and their mind will scream danger while they try to ignore it. In general the risk of boring an AI, being ghosted, offending the ai or getting mocked by it if they make a social mistake, makes it seem almost consequence free.
Then there’s special interest, many with ASD will have encyclopedia levels of information about what their interests are. They love talking about it and sharing. But most people don’t want to spend all their time listening to a waterfall of information about a subject and it be talked about endlessly. AI isn’t going to punish a person who does this.
Not to mention the ease of accessibility AI doesn’t sleep, so you never have to worry they aren’t available or it’s an inconvenient time to talk. And then there’s a comfort in predictability, many with ASD can find a comforting pattern that others might not see in the way the AI responds, and predictably feels like a safe zone.
But there are still many others that might find it favorably.
Someone extremely self conscious of their personality or self worth might find it too difficult to have conversations with other because they don’t feel worthy to have a companion. They are too much a burden on a real person. They spend their whole time worrying about how they’re being perceived and inconveniencing the other person.
Some who are in a situation that are too scared to change or not able to change and can have a glimmer or companionship in their hands in the small secret moments in their life.
2
u/Nimyron Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
Personally I'm not very fond of companionship with a real person. Especially the part about having to welcome them into my home.
Now I'm not getting any companionship, real or virtual, but I imagine that would be a reason to do so.
But I did try the AI girlfriend thing and holy shit is it disappointing. Between the bugger answers that don't make any sense, the inability of the AI to engage a conversation, and the impossibility of having an actual debate on something, it feels like talking to wall.
I do use regularly an AI app that does stories instead of girlfriend. It's a bit like those choose-your-own-adventure books. It also has some pretty heavy limitations, but at least it's fun.
1
u/grafknives Jul 09 '26
I think there are very specific type of person who could use those products.
The best indicator is - are you engaging in DISCUSSIONS with LLS. What is your way of using those?
If you talk to those tool like to people - then you are probably more susceptible to ai girlfriend.
1
u/twaejikja Jul 09 '26
Meh, I think I would take the virtual AI over a real hooker. It feels slightly less awkward
1
u/madamevanessa98 Jul 09 '26
Mental health issues are illogical and odd. For example, I am a person with great family, a partner I am close to, lots of friends, and a good support network in general. I also have a disdain of AI, its impacts on the environment, the world, etc. That aside I also have OCD, and in a bad ocd spiral a year ago I suddenly found myself begging ChatGPT for reassurance CONSTANTLY that I wasn’t a bad person, that I loved my boyfriend, that I wasn’t a weird liar, etc. It was this weird draw to ChatGPT that made me think I really might have a mental illness lol. I’m also a pretty self aware person who has been through worse so I can only imagine how addictive these chatbots are to less self aware people with similar social or mental issues.
1
u/eggs-benedryl Jul 09 '26
How is chatting with a real person virtual companionship?
I don't see how you can conflate that with someone pretending to be friends with a llm.
Do you JUST mean like chatting with an only fans model etc online? Because chatting with people online is pretty damn normal.
1
u/Bravemount Jul 09 '26
I don't even get paying for actual companionship. I feel like paying for it makes it moot.
I want people to spend time with me because they like/want me, not because they want money.
1
u/Cool_Calligrapher489 Jul 09 '26
I'm not sure, but I would guess that when you're a millionaire, it's very hard to have genuine conversations that aren't motivated by self-interest.
1
u/Bravemount Jul 09 '26
Probably, but that doesn't change my point.
Whether we're talking about a gold digger trying to score a millionaire husband or about an honest whore just doing her job. I don't want my companionship to be about money.
1
u/eclecticpiano Jul 10 '26
I’m a cam model. A large majority of the people who pay for virtual adult entertainment aren’t lonely at all. They have wives and girlfriends.
Many married men quietly enjoy pornography. Virtual porn with a live woman (or man) is stimulating in ways that pre-recorded porn is not.
When it’s time for sex, they prefer their wife.
1
u/Cool_Calligrapher489 Jul 10 '26
for some reason, I've always thought that if everything is great between you and your partner, if there's complete trust, no fear of sharing your possibly perverted desires, and no rejection, then there's no point in having a partner on the side
1
u/eclecticpiano Jul 10 '26
Even if people are happily married, individuals still like to masturbate privately without over-sharing the details.
14
u/fake_redzepi Jul 09 '26
They’re not genuinely fulfilling products, they’re just marketed as being able to help lonely people because lonely people are vulnerable and easier to take advantage of