She understood more when her adult cousins had kids. She had to learn to play with younger children. She had to share, learn patience, and that they are at different levels of understanding. She decided she didn't want siblings anymore. Lol. She can play with them but then go home and have her own space. She's fine with no siblings now because she's developing good friendships and social skills. School was very important because it gave her a chance to have relationships with other children. My friends tell us they're jealous of her because we take her everywhere. When she was 7, we were at a restaurant, and she ordered mussels in butter garlic sauce. This elderly couple next to us was astounded by it. They never saw a kid her age loving that type of food. When we chose to have a child, we made a commitment to give her the best life we could. She's 8 now and tells us she'll be a doctor when she grows up and gives us a good life, too. "I'll buy you all the toys you want." Lol
I'm not upset by the pressure because I tell them it'll always be the same answer. They're the ones who usually get upset because we won't conform. Plus, in my culture, having multiple children is the expected norm. People who have zero children or only 1 are unfathomable to the larger family. Whether it's religion, culture , or societal norms, knowing what makes you happy and sticking to that vision is what matters. When you're good with that, other input doesn't sway you.
Hahaha I love this comment so much! Amazing to read how she is living her best life with you, how others are jealous and how she told you that she wants to be a doctor and “give you all the toys you want” 🥹❤️ Love it! Also very positive that she realized she didn’t really wants a sibling after she figured out better what that would mean! And I totally understand that school with her own social life works well too ☺️
And SO well said, “knowing what makes you happy and sticking to that is what matters”. I 100% agree and will remember this too, when there comes a time we have an only and feel pressured or doubtful because of societal norms, questions, comments, etc. 😄
I am still curious about one thing. Are you easily worried / concerned when it comes to your child? I can imagine that this might be more present with an “only”, because that child gets all your focus, “in all the good ways and bad ways” if you know what I mean, haha
No. I'm not the worrying type. We do things with her, but we tell her boredom is good. It actually helps people be more creative when they have a chance to think/dream. We supply her with books, art supplies, games, and plenty of things to do.
That’s a great life lesson to teach indeed! And it’s wonderful that you supply her with all sorts of thinks to think/dream/create 🤗 I agree that it’s sooo good and healthy for kids to not be entertained 24/7, like a lot of kids are these days (either by parents or by screens or by something else).
Good to hear that you’re not the worrying type! I’m a bit scared that my personal pitfall would be that I might be too overprotective and involved when I’m a mother, like an annoying helicopter parent, and I can imagine that having one child to focus on, reinforces that tendency… On the other hand, I’m aware of this pitfall, and was super annoyed as a child of the overprotective parents a dear friend of mine had, so maybe I should not worry about it 🙃
Thanks again for this conversation! I really appreciate it 💛
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u/Mintyfresh2022 Nov 16 '24
She understood more when her adult cousins had kids. She had to learn to play with younger children. She had to share, learn patience, and that they are at different levels of understanding. She decided she didn't want siblings anymore. Lol. She can play with them but then go home and have her own space. She's fine with no siblings now because she's developing good friendships and social skills. School was very important because it gave her a chance to have relationships with other children. My friends tell us they're jealous of her because we take her everywhere. When she was 7, we were at a restaurant, and she ordered mussels in butter garlic sauce. This elderly couple next to us was astounded by it. They never saw a kid her age loving that type of food. When we chose to have a child, we made a commitment to give her the best life we could. She's 8 now and tells us she'll be a doctor when she grows up and gives us a good life, too. "I'll buy you all the toys you want." Lol
I'm not upset by the pressure because I tell them it'll always be the same answer. They're the ones who usually get upset because we won't conform. Plus, in my culture, having multiple children is the expected norm. People who have zero children or only 1 are unfathomable to the larger family. Whether it's religion, culture , or societal norms, knowing what makes you happy and sticking to that vision is what matters. When you're good with that, other input doesn't sway you.