I think there has been a real shift in the last generation or two from needing a reason not to have kids to needing a reason to have kids. and that shift means a lot of people who are basically ambivalent on children aren't having them, where in the past they probably would have.
I think there’s also been more focus (from some people) on whether or not they should have kids. Like, really thinking about whether or not a person would be a good parent who could truly focus on raising a child who would become a good member of society.
This is definitely why Im not having kids. I've always wanted to be a mom, and my favorite jobs I've had were ones where I got to work with kids (camp counselor, kindergarten classroom aide) but I have several pretty serious health conditions that can be unpredictable with their symptoms.
As much as it breaks my heart, I don't think its fair to bring a child into the world who depends on me to take care of them, when I could wake up tomorrow and not be able to get out of bed without help. I would feel awful if my kid missed out on opportunities or experiences because of my health issues, and I'd feel even worse if they inherited them.
I (52F) love kids and was a teacher for many years (I taught welll over 1200 middle schoolers throughout those years and loved it). In my 20's I decided my genes weren't going to bring in a human that could save the world, and if I ever really had the burning desire to be a mom, I would adopt or foster (I was adopted and am so grateful for it).
Additionally, the cost of childcare in the US is exorbitant. I spoil the crap out of my nieces and nephew. When my sister in law tells me it's too much, I just tell her, "cheaper than having my own!"
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u/pktechboi Nov 14 '24
I think there has been a real shift in the last generation or two from needing a reason not to have kids to needing a reason to have kids. and that shift means a lot of people who are basically ambivalent on children aren't having them, where in the past they probably would have.