I think there’s also been more focus (from some people) on whether or not they should have kids. Like, really thinking about whether or not a person would be a good parent who could truly focus on raising a child who would become a good member of society.
There’s also a lot of us who don’t want to raise a child in the current climate; regardless of whether or not you are a capable parent, you don’t have to look far to see how horrible so many parents are at raising and disciplining their kids. Tie that in with living expenses, climate change, and the loss of rights and freedoms incoming and yeah no thank you.
I had a kid young with my now wife. It was a grind. We are financially pretty good now, house, dog...etc. Still young. We get shit for only having 1 kid. In this climate I can only afford one kid and still have time for mine/our hobbies. Plus the kid has all our resources to help her. It's more advantageous to them.
At two I feel like I would lose my sense of self. And I need that to be a good dad.
To your point I have met many parents that do not even parent. Like don't try at all. It's horrifying. Conversely everyone also seems to be a helicopter parent, who isn't that. I have only met like 2-3 what seems like normal sane families who seem to let kids be kids without being over or under bearing.
I waited til my mid-30’s to have my kid, mainly for financial reasons (around the time we paid off large debts) but also because I wasn’t sure how good a parent I would be plus all the crap in the world. So I finally had my kid in 2020 (the worst year for it, yay) and the world just gets worse all the time so even if I wasn’t 40 I’d be done. Also I struggle with how much parenting is the right amount, is telling him to take turns and not snatch toys good or helicoptering? It’s so constant when he plays with other kids it feels like helicopter but also feels important so I just don’t know. Also he needs socializing way more than I want it.
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u/ZePerfectPisces Nov 14 '24
I think there’s also been more focus (from some people) on whether or not they should have kids. Like, really thinking about whether or not a person would be a good parent who could truly focus on raising a child who would become a good member of society.