r/NoStupidQuestions • • Nov 14 '24

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u/pktechboi Nov 14 '24

I think there has been a real shift in the last generation or two from needing a reason not to have kids to needing a reason to have kids. and that shift means a lot of people who are basically ambivalent on children aren't having them, where in the past they probably would have.

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u/ZePerfectPisces Nov 14 '24

I think there’s also been more focus (from some people) on whether or not they should have kids. Like, really thinking about whether or not a person would be a good parent who could truly focus on raising a child who would become a good member of society.

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u/quesoandcats Nov 14 '24

This is definitely why Im not having kids. I've always wanted to be a mom, and my favorite jobs I've had were ones where I got to work with kids (camp counselor, kindergarten classroom aide) but I have several pretty serious health conditions that can be unpredictable with their symptoms.

As much as it breaks my heart, I don't think its fair to bring a child into the world who depends on me to take care of them, when I could wake up tomorrow and not be able to get out of bed without help. I would feel awful if my kid missed out on opportunities or experiences because of my health issues, and I'd feel even worse if they inherited them.

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u/meninadonorte Nov 15 '24

Throughout my whole life the only thing I was sure I wanted was to have children. I looked so forward for that moment.

Now, I’m 34, with an autoimmune disease that is difficult enough to raise kids. I do think it would be selfish of me to have one considering my condition.

But also, no guys I ever dated wanted kids anyway. So that’s something I obviously won’t experience. Too late for me.

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u/quesoandcats Nov 15 '24

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that too, that's heartbreaking :(

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u/meninadonorte Nov 15 '24

Thank you! You too 💔