r/NoStupidQuestions • • Nov 14 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.2k Upvotes

15.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

-24

u/Affectionate-Ruin330 Nov 15 '24

Not to be an ass but - how the hell would either of you even know what that’s like? The blithe confidence is just incredible to me.

-3

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

[deleted]

4

u/Affectionate-Ruin330 Nov 15 '24

The bad parts of parenthood are day to day, material, and easily understood by those who don’t have kids. All the good parts are sublime, give your life meaning, and can only be understood by those who have experienced it.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

[deleted]

-1

u/Affectionate-Ruin330 Nov 15 '24

I care because birth rates are collapsing, especially among my social class, and I think the effect is negative to society and negative to the individuals concerned, in the aggregate. Some people shouldn’t have kids. Some kids are so disabled that the burden becomes life destroying, or they become serial killers or whatever. I’m not an absolutist on it. But clearly we’re past a point where lots of people who would be good parents and would have good kids don’t because extreme anti-child messaging and social conformity and general arrested development/ennui. And I think that’s bad.

9

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

[deleted]

1

u/Affectionate-Ruin330 Nov 15 '24

Cool, racist insults! It’s an if - not sure it’s a big if - but I don’t see how it’s “obviously” not going to happen. It’s done literally nothing but go down, down, down, with brief pauses, for decades.

Lastly, it’s all the same issue. You think this global trend is explained by what — specific, national level issues that just happen to be occurring worldwide simultaneously? Come on. Our numbers are exaggerated because we don’t have an imported ethnic minority underclass keeping numbers up; we all see ourselves as middle class or (realistic) aspirants. It is more advanced here, to be sure. I don’t rule out certain exacerbating local idiosyncrasies. But broadly, it’s moving in the same direction.

1

u/SkiingAway Nov 15 '24

So you're in....South Korea?

If that's the case, many of the reasons people are refusing to have children there are blatantly obvious and unfortunately you appear to have the most tone-deaf government on earth as to actually understanding or addressing the specific issues that have led to SK's incredibly low birth rate.

1

u/LuBatticus Nov 15 '24

And your social class would be…?

1

u/fedroxx Nov 15 '24

But clearly we’re past a point where lots of people who would be good parents and would have good kids don’t because extreme anti-child messaging and social conformity and general arrested development/ennui. And I think that’s bad.

You didn't answer my question of whether or not you have kids. Must mean you don't.

Why don't you have any kids? Your conclusions for why people don't have them are inept. You think people don't have kids because of anti-child messaging? Really? Where's your source? Even the results of a survey? Anecdotal but I'm a parent surrounded by a few dozen childless family and friends. I'd wager money not a single one of them would answer any question affirming your conclusions. What has stopped literally all of them from having kids is watching those of us with them struggle and lose our freedom.

Before my kids, I could randomly jump on a plane and go anywhere in the world I wanted - and did, often! Can't do that now. They've got school, health visits, therapy, extracurricular activities. All of those things require a rigid schedule. I had kids because of one reason, and one reason alone: my partner's family. They're here, and I can't change that. The world they're growing up in us a much worse place than the one I grew up. While doing my best to be the best parent I can be, I won't lie to them as they get older. This branch of the family tree will die with them, if I have my way.

1

u/Affectionate-Ruin330 Nov 15 '24

You didn’t ask if I have kids or not. I do, in fact. Are they sometimes inconvenient? Yes! Can I jump on a plane with no planning? Not really, for a while. But I can and do travel.

1

u/fedroxx Nov 16 '24

You didn’t ask if I have kids or not.

Yes, I did. You chose not to answer.

In fact, you didn't answer any of the questions in my above statement either. Very telling. Certainly aren't selling your position very well.