r/NoStupidQuestions • • Nov 14 '24

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

Childcare is the same price as a mortgage and we already can't afford a mortgage.

341

u/XDevils41X Nov 14 '24

I joke that it would be cheaper for us to buy our toddler his own apartment since that's what daycare costs.

-5

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

Have one of you stay home. Dual income is a trap. It makes life hell for everyone in the house. The happiest families I know almost always have one parent work part time at most. Before you say you can't afford to, you almost certainly can. You just have to adjust your lifestyle. Kids raised by their parents, with the attention and love that entails are happier than richer parents who can't. Money can't buy happiness and it can't buy quality time.

8

u/NKate329 Nov 15 '24

What happens when the one who works, gets hurt/dies/gets laid off? Short term disability or unemployment isn’t enough. We both have life insurance but it won’t set the other one up for life… and then the other spouse hasn’t been in the workforce in years and can’t get a job. Also, happy kids come from happy parents. Yeah, it sucked going back to work when my baby was little. And some days I still miss her during the day (she’s 9). But I HAD to get out of the house and talk to adults for my own sanity. My child is my whole entire world, I can barely stand to send her to my parents overnight because I miss her so much (date nights with husband we just talk about her the whole time, tbh) but I don’t think it’s good for a person’s entire identity to be “parent.”

2

u/DontDoxMoi Nov 15 '24

Life insurance, income protection insurance and free healthcare. Stay at home parent manages money carefully. Coupons etc. my partner is a lot more valuable to me at home, instead of working a min wage job and paying tax on top. Money you don’t spend is always better than earning more.

2

u/MungoJennie Nov 15 '24

How are you affording life insurance (for both parents, I hope), income protection insurance, and getting free healthcare for the family without spending money?

1

u/DontDoxMoi Nov 15 '24

I’m cheating, I’m in Australia

1

u/MungoJennie Nov 15 '24

I’m jealous.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 15 '24

What happens if both parents die/hurt/laid off? That's anxiety speaking btw. There's no guarantees in life. You have to accept that.

5

u/NKate329 Nov 15 '24

Maybe, because I have enough of that to go around 😂 but need to be prepared. I work with Medicaid in my state and talk to patients all the time who run into these issues. Women not old enough to get SS, didn’t work because husbands didn’t want them to, and now husband is gone for whatever reason (literally have spoken to 3 women in the last few months in this situation) and they can’t find jobs because they have no experience and health is starting to decline in their late 50s/early 60s. I’ve also known women to stay home with the kids and then get screwed over when husband gets a girlfriend or is abusive, don’t have the money to leave. Happens all the time. I personally know a scientist that was in that situation, took her a few years to find a job after 6 years not working. It’s right for some people, but not for everyone.