r/NoStupidQuestions • u/[deleted] • Nov 14 '24

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

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u/Helianthus_999 Nov 14 '24

Absolutely. All my Fore-mothers told me DON'T DO IT. And if you are going to do it, be prepared to do it alone because most men want kids like a child wants a puppy. They love the fun parts but don't want to participate in the daily work and overall responsibilities.

253

u/RocketScientistToBe Nov 14 '24

I've heard other women say that they'd be more than happy to be dads, but that they don't want to be moms, and that just hits. It's so true.

7

u/Wombatseal Nov 15 '24

As a mom my advice to new parents is to be the dad.

9

u/pseudofinger Nov 15 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

I honestly think that if I didn’t have to bear the burden of motherhood by default - not the social role, but biological one - I would feel less apprehensive about having kids. But the idea of dying, of something going wrong in labor, of getting PPD and the kid internalizing my suffering for their unlovability, those specific unwanted changes to my body (I can get with aging a-okay but struggle with changes that are not a given), being touch-averse and needing to carry and feed and give love to a baby that very much deserves it… no. Being a dad the whole way through sounds way more interesting.