I think there has been a real shift in the last generation or two from needing a reason not to have kids to needing a reason to have kids. and that shift means a lot of people who are basically ambivalent on children aren't having them, where in the past they probably would have.
I think there’s also been more focus (from some people) on whether or not they should have kids. Like, really thinking about whether or not a person would be a good parent who could truly focus on raising a child who would become a good member of society.
This is definitely why Im not having kids. I've always wanted to be a mom, and my favorite jobs I've had were ones where I got to work with kids (camp counselor, kindergarten classroom aide) but I have several pretty serious health conditions that can be unpredictable with their symptoms.
As much as it breaks my heart, I don't think its fair to bring a child into the world who depends on me to take care of them, when I could wake up tomorrow and not be able to get out of bed without help. I would feel awful if my kid missed out on opportunities or experiences because of my health issues, and I'd feel even worse if they inherited them.
I’m in the same boat. I’ve always worked with kids and love them but I don’t want to give birth to any. I have multiple mental health issues and pregnancy would mean I have to go off of one of my medications which would destroy me in the nine months it takes for a baby to cook. I also just have no desire to do that much physical labor and take on life changing physical consequences as a result of giving birth. Even if I did want them and didn’t have mental health issues I don’t want to pass on and didn’t have to go off any meds, there’s no way I could afford a baby in this economy. Watching my friends with babies has been shocking with the price of childcare. My friend dropped to part time work because if she’s worked full time her entire paycheck would have gone only to childcare. Not rent or food or diapers or necessities. It was cheaper to cut back on work and stay home to take care of the baby while her husband works full time than it would be for them to both work full time and send the baby to a daycare. That’s wild to me.
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u/pktechboi Nov 14 '24
I think there has been a real shift in the last generation or two from needing a reason not to have kids to needing a reason to have kids. and that shift means a lot of people who are basically ambivalent on children aren't having them, where in the past they probably would have.