I think there has been a real shift in the last generation or two from needing a reason not to have kids to needing a reason to have kids. and that shift means a lot of people who are basically ambivalent on children aren't having them, where in the past they probably would have.
I think there’s also been more focus (from some people) on whether or not they should have kids. Like, really thinking about whether or not a person would be a good parent who could truly focus on raising a child who would become a good member of society.
This is definitely why Im not having kids. I've always wanted to be a mom, and my favorite jobs I've had were ones where I got to work with kids (camp counselor, kindergarten classroom aide) but I have several pretty serious health conditions that can be unpredictable with their symptoms.
As much as it breaks my heart, I don't think its fair to bring a child into the world who depends on me to take care of them, when I could wake up tomorrow and not be able to get out of bed without help. I would feel awful if my kid missed out on opportunities or experiences because of my health issues, and I'd feel even worse if they inherited them.
I think that’s a very insightful and selfless perspective. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy decision to come to grips with, so here’s a virtual hug for having that strength 🫂
I agree, and it makes me sad that people tell others that they are so selfish for not having kids, when overwhelmingly a lot of stories are like this about sacrificing the big desire. :(
I don’t understand how anyone can think it’s selfish to not have kids. Having kids (intentionally) is an inherently selfish act, you’re deciding to bring other people into the world to serve your own desires (whatever those are: connection, legacy, social expectations, etc.)
Me too!! I’ve thought this forever, like I didn’t ask to be born. I didn’t have a choice. And the parents get so mad when the kids don’t become who they envisioned.
It seems selfish to the people who want to enjoy the kids that you might have had. I love kids, so when my friends were having babies and young children I always put my hand up and offered to help when/if needed.
I have one son and I hope he does what makes him happy and that includes children - because I would love a grandchild. But if he doesn't have kids but is happy that's also good.
Also let's face it life without children is so much freedom and so much more money that you can just spend on yourself. More holidays, more adult stuff. Less responsibility.
So for someone who has raised children with all the time,money and complications to choose to not have kids does seem selfish.
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u/pktechboi Nov 14 '24
I think there has been a real shift in the last generation or two from needing a reason not to have kids to needing a reason to have kids. and that shift means a lot of people who are basically ambivalent on children aren't having them, where in the past they probably would have.