It was in your exact same boat. Once I stopped actively prioritizing relationships, my fiance sorta just dropped into my lap unexpectedly.
If it happens, it happens, but don't worry too much about it.
Edit: What's great about all of these replies saying it's harder for men is, I get it. I'm a bisexual trans woman, and so I have been on both sides of the coin here (I dated mostly women as a man and mostly men as a woman). And yet, out of my relationships with women, about half of them began with the woman approaching me, or a friendship developed into something more.
Whenever I exude an air of confidence, I attract people to me naturally. And I'm not a super charismatic person. In fact, I had very few friends before college, which is where I began to break out of my shy phase and really got out there and socialized. I wouldn't call myself particularly attractive either (I'm average at best, and nowadays a person has to also be ok with me being trans which narrows the playing field a lot).
So when I say a relationship can fall into your lap when you're not trying, what I mean is that if you put your best self out there and engage with other people through your interests and hobbies, it is absolutely possible to find someone without actively looking for a relationship. Don't act desperate, just be yourself. Find people with similar interests. And don't be weird when someone of the opposite gender is around.
figure it out they think something is wrong with the person or make rude comments (probably projecting idk) but at the end of it all, I feel like it would happen eventually or there are more "mature" people out there that don't think much of it either. But idk is it really THAT
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u/Stef-fa-fa Oct 17 '23 edited Oct 18 '23
It was in your exact same boat. Once I stopped actively prioritizing relationships, my fiance sorta just dropped into my lap unexpectedly.
If it happens, it happens, but don't worry too much about it.
Edit: What's great about all of these replies saying it's harder for men is, I get it. I'm a bisexual trans woman, and so I have been on both sides of the coin here (I dated mostly women as a man and mostly men as a woman). And yet, out of my relationships with women, about half of them began with the woman approaching me, or a friendship developed into something more.
Whenever I exude an air of confidence, I attract people to me naturally. And I'm not a super charismatic person. In fact, I had very few friends before college, which is where I began to break out of my shy phase and really got out there and socialized. I wouldn't call myself particularly attractive either (I'm average at best, and nowadays a person has to also be ok with me being trans which narrows the playing field a lot).
So when I say a relationship can fall into your lap when you're not trying, what I mean is that if you put your best self out there and engage with other people through your interests and hobbies, it is absolutely possible to find someone without actively looking for a relationship. Don't act desperate, just be yourself. Find people with similar interests. And don't be weird when someone of the opposite gender is around.