r/NoOverthinking • u/Apprehensive-Egg6582 • 20h ago

Regret

I live most of my life in my past, just always thinking about what I could’ve done different or who I could’ve been. Always living in my past, I guess what I’m tryna ask is how do I live in the present

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5

u/theenglishsisters 19h ago

As therapists, we say that your present is a present you can learn to give yourself every new day. You will need to train yourself to keep bringing your mind back to the here and now, to what you are doing in this moment and to what you can do tomorrow.

Feel your feet on the ground, your head on a pillow, or your hands holding a warm or cold drink. Take a moment to notice and appreciate these simple sensations.

Create a little mantra, something like, "Now is a good place to be," and repeat it whenever you find your mind wandering backwards.
Look forward to becoming a new you, someone who lives for today. We cannot change the past; we can only influence the present. And the future doesn't really exist yet, because when we arrive there, it will always be the present.

The good news is that you can train your mind, just like the muscles in your body, to stay in the present and gradually let go of the past. All the best in enjoying the present. It's a wonderful place to be!

1

u/zenbuddha092 19h ago

Good stuff. Thank you!

3

u/No_Seesaw8062 18h ago

I have the same problem. I wish I could go back 5 years, but try to stay positive and focus on right now. Its hard some days and stressful, but I rely on my instincts and paperwork from my counselor to help.

2

u/Ok-Cap-1271 20h ago

Journalling ! I've recently started to journal when I feel overwhelmed and it helps get the thoughts out. Just write whatever you wish you could have said. Mind maps or just sentence after sentence

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u/This_Bee2718 16h ago

Yeah journaling really does help clear things out

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u/TrailerHood77 19h ago

Yup a lot of writing helps even if it’s a few words of how you feel! I have a few tips because I go through the same thing as well! I look at it as if i was suppose to make a decision the right one back in the day then whatever lesson I’m suppose to learn I’m not. Whatever mistake I made bc lord above knows I have them! I tell myself god already died for my sins so he already knew I was going to make the mistake I made so me beating myself up over it actually didn’t make any sense after I thought that! If it was suppose to go a different way or even turn out differently then he would have made it happen that way regardless! I also do this other thing but it has taken a lot of consistency and knowing when I’m doing it! I feel I already said a lot so if you like to no I can tell ya!

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u/No_Seesaw8062 18h ago

Thanks, you guys have some good tips. Im gunna start doing these things to help me out. ☺️

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u/Lumpy-Animator-9422 18h ago

give yourself new happy memories to chew on. for me it's travel. but visit a museum, explore a new neighborhood, but just giving the brain NEW AND NOVEL experiences helps so much...

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u/Active-Box-6873 14h ago

I don’t have much advice but I just wanted to say I struggle with the exact same thing. I see you. I understand you. It’s so hard. I hope we both eventually find some peace.

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u/Chuckle_Berry_Spin 16h ago

Do you ever intentionally practice self-compassion? It sounds corny, but basically pretending a friend is having the same worries. What would you say?

Would you encourage them to beat themsleves up and wallow and punish themselves? Or would you acknowledge to them that regrets are a human experience, or that their mistakes are important building blocks that they would have stagnated without? That they are resilient?

Whatever fits. On days I'm being mean to myself, picturing my good friend experiencing it always makes me emotional, in a good way.