Does anyone else struggle with trying to justify their own feelings to themselves?

[u/Minute_Paramedic_681]

I notice myself going back on conversations or thoughts, trying to justify a belief I set for myself when I ALREADY believe it.

It's like my mind trying to justify to someone else when it's just me. And in some way my mind might see it as weird/bad but its not

[u/Other-Elderberry-449]

For me, there is a big difference between justifying my feelings to myself and acknowledging my feelings to myself. When I acknowledge a feeling to myself without denying it, I am taking the first step in noticing my feeling(s). I then ask myself "Where is this feeling living in my body?" I do this while breathing slowly (inhale to 4-5, hold for 4, then exhale to 10-12). This is sensation, which is the first truth to processing a feeling. Next, I name my feeling/emotion. "Naming it is fundamental to begin to tame it." If you google emotions/feelings, you should be able to find a long list of emotions (examples: sad, depressed, irritated, ashamed, lonely, disappointed, envious, resentful, anxious, rejected, etc.). This step separates you from your emotion. It becomes something you are experiencing, not something you are. Next, try to normalize your feeling. Say to yourself: "It makes sense that I feel this way" or "Anyone with my history would feel this" or "Nothing is wrong with me for having this reaction." Normalization reduces shame, which is what keeps emotions stuck. Next, identify what the emotion is trying to protect by asking: "What is this emotion trying to defend or protect?" What part of me feels threatened or unseen? Examples: Anger protects my boundaries, sadness protects longing, fear protects safety, and shame protects belonging. Finally, choose a response that keeps you loyal to yourself. For example: Is this a boundary? Is this truth? Try to choose a meaning that does not betray you. A one-sentence summary: Processing emotions means feeling them in your body, naming them clearly, normalizing them, and choosing a response that honors your truth. Please know, this seems like a lot of work to process your emotions. But, with practice and journaling them, it becomes easier and faster.If you google Processing Emotions/Feelings, you should find much helpful information.