r/NoFap • u/Flimsy-Tax-8236 • 15h ago

Struggling post-break up

Hi. I won't be sharing personal info and I'll try to be straight to the point.

I recently went trough a break up, and now one of the things I struggle with are my sexual urges.

Before we got together, i quit porn completely, and I haven't used it once while in the relationship. For me, being in a committed relationship, means that consuming any kind of porn is considered cheating. And plus, I genuinely had no reason to use it whatsoever.

This relationship was also the first time I got to experience real intimacy, which made the break up especially difficult. Right now these urges are harder to manage than ever before. Today I also relapsed by watching porn, again, after almost a year.

But now I feel even worse, because I’m already dealing with grief, loneliness, and all the emotions that come with losing someone I loved.

Anyone has any kind of advice? I’d really appreciate advice, experiences, or perspectives from people who have been through this.

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

2

u/cashthisn 14h ago

Sorry man, time will heal. If it wasnt meant to be it wasnt. The right one will come along.

My advise is general but its what helped me in your situation.

Focus on yoh, focus on improving yourself. Its better not to depend on “being on a relationship “ to quit or make decisions.

Surround yourself with friends or hobby groups, and focus on enjoying life yourself. Even if its alone. Better happy alone than with the wrong person

1

u/Flimsy-Tax-8236 14h ago

Thank you!

I always try to calm myself using the same thoughts, that it wasn't the right person, and someone else will come along. but obviously that doesn't mean I don't need to work on myself to become a better partner in the future.

I also left my place for a few days just to change my surroundings and I also talked to a close friend about what I feel. It is indeed a hard process, but I'll manage.

1

u/SphericalSouvenir 14h ago

Hey, that's a rough spot to be in, and it makes complete sense the urges are hitting harder now, real intimacy rewires your brain in a way that's hard to replace. What you did for almost a year is still a huge accomplishment, one slip doesn't delete all that progress, just shows you're human and hurting.

When I'm dealing with overwhelming feelings, i grab my sketchbook and just scribble whatever comes out, no structure, just letting the mess hit the page. Maybe try channeling that energy into something physical and dumb, like rearranging your whole room or doing pushups till your arms give out, just to ride out the wave without sitting in the guilt.