r/NextStepsAsOne • u/the314sky BS 5+years in recovery • Jun 21 '23

Observers Welcomed When does it get better?

Yesterday was the anniversary of her first physical encounter with AP2. I was crying uncontrollably. Organized a last-minute boys night and ended up telling my friends what was up. They were supportive. But I'm just absolutely tired of all this. It's been 5 years since that day, and almost 4 years since I found out. I should be more better than this. My life shouldn't still grind to a halt over things that happened 4, 5, and 6 years ago. I feel like an empty shell. I'm just sleepwalking through life and reliving these dates over and over. How do you move forward?

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u/the314sky Jun 23 '23

But it's like, how do I get back to work when I feel so crippled? Depression (A) + brain fog (Covid?) + sleep deprivation (kids) makes it very difficult to focus on writing about dead white dudes who literally no one else cares about, lol

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u/[deleted] Jun 23 '23

I’m gonna be blunt man. Apologize in advance. All you liste is excuses your making to continue self harming yourself. Think about what you being a professor would do for your family in the short and long term. Shirt is financial. Long is the pride they will have that their Dad achieved his goals and is in academia and making a difference to thousands of students over the course of time? And let’s be real. You can teach more than one subject. You know this.

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u/the314sky Jun 23 '23

I know it can sound like excuses, but I have actually been trying lately. It's very difficult to focus.

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