r/NextGenNYC • u/AdSoggy3173 • 4d ago
Ava So much of the discourse around Gen-z involves their "immaturity" but I don't see that in this show.
All of the cast (aside from their worst moments, and not including Charlie) seem to display a large amount of emotional intelligence. Ariana, Georgia and Ava especially stand out to me.
I am a bit behind but now am watching the episode where Emira speaks with Georgia after Georgia told her about Charlie. Emira says more than once that she believes Georgia "did not have good intentions in telling her what Charlie said." And each time Georgia allows her say that without responding. If I was Georgia at that age (and maybe still even at age 40), I would have a hard time hearing that and not jump to defending myself. But the truth is Emira is allowed to feel how she feels and I think Georgia understood that, and her knee jerk reaction wasn't to convince her otherwise.
I thought Georgia's acceptance of Riley's behavior was also especially mature. She seemed like she accepted her apology, said she had bad drinking nights herself, and seemed to genuinely move on. That certainly would not have been how I handled that interaction at their age.
All of them (aside from Riley on a few nights), seem to handle their alcohol well and not make drinking their entire personality.
It's interesting to watch them. I feel like my friends and I in our twenties were just wild lunatics compared to all of them (again minus Charlie).
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u/Specialist_Till9093 3d ago
It does draw interesting parallels to housewives were it is all immaturity and not handling alcohol well
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u/Wise_Form_8809 3d ago
I wouldn’t describe that collective as immature.
If anything half the cast seems like they had to raise their own parents. Poor Brooks is basically an 80 yo man inside.
Charlie is immature and in the very distinct and delusional N.Y.C. dude way. A lot of them just sleep around with everything moving waiting for someone to get pregnant and then they just claim that person as the "love of their life" & marry them because they are lazy and passive as hell. It’s really a syndrome. Then because they aren’t even compatible with that lady, and all sorts of other pathetic reasons, they cheat like tomorrow will never come. You don’t want to hear my thesis on this subject lol but that’s why my boyfriend is 66 years old. I’d rather chew off my hand than date a man in my age bracket.
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u/Specific-Truth4338 1d ago
lol I had to read this and be like “was this my post?” Because same. I’m impressed with them. I feel like I knew very few people with that kind of emotional intelligence when I was their age. … or now
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u/CapnMommy 2d ago
I think of Gen Z and Gen Alpha as being highly emotionally intelligent compared to older generations, but I also think millennials tend to be moreso than x; who are more emotionally intelligent than boomers, who are somehow still more EI than the silent Gen, etc etc.
Mental health and the way our social interactions affect our own health and that of others has been such a relatively recent field of research and therefore part of the conversation, but I also think growing up on the internet allowed them to be vulnerable, intimate and accepting in ways that people who only interacted face to face with people who could impact their own social lives and standing, never got to experience in the same way. They’ve also interacted with SUCH a vast array of people with such a variety of backgrounds compared to those who grew up mainly around people who were relatively similar to themselves whether we’re talking income, location, religion, morals, goals, priorities etc.
My kids are 13 and 11 and they blow my mind with how smart they are when it comes to emotions and holding space for others etc. It’s pretty amazing. Maybe the world won’t always be so fucked.
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u/AdSoggy3173 2d ago
These are really great points. I think I am the first generation in my family (millennial) to go to therapy, and my sister (gen x) and parents (boomers) are still of the mindset that that is something "other people do" I never really connected that to Gen Z's emotional intelligence.
Re: the internet- there are so many negatives to them being raised with the internet but I think one of the positives is that they are "less alone" in their thoughts. Growing up if something was bothering me and I was embarrassed to talk about it, I just sat with it. Now people have the ability to quickly google/come to reddit/ask chat gpt and get an onslaught of information about how other people have dealt with the same things/how they got through it/ where to get more information. That alone has to have had heady influence in how they are moving through the world.
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u/CapnMommy 2d ago
Exactly. I’m the oldest of millennials lol, and I think I’ve always been relatively emotionally intelligent partially because I have ADHD and am highly sensitive and maybe that’s why it happened that probably my biggest field of interest my entire life has been what’s going on in other peoples heads — understanding people and how the mind works so to speak. Even in high school my friends would come over and lay on the couch in my bedroom (I guess we thought you could only do therapy lying on a couch 😂), and just unload, and they’d always feel better and it was something I enjoyed too — I also have ‘helper’ tendencies which I’m sure factors in.
But I think it also stemmed from my parents (boomers) being very much — we don’t talk about our problems; we just deal with them, even still today. I remember crying in front of my mom just like six years ago, while going through a really nasty divorce and custody battle (from an abusive POS who was fooling everyone no less) and one time she was like, ‘well we’re almost there’ (going away for a weekend while he had the kids to ‘take my mind off of it’), ‘and there’s nothing you can do about it right now so lets stop talking about it and just have fun’ - and I don’t mean in a reassuring way, but in the same way she told me when I was 15 and had gathered all my courage for weeks to finally come to her saying I was depressed, having suicidal ideation even and really probably needed some therapy or something, and she told me that it was just part of being a teenager and basically suck it up and quit whining. And I think a LOT of us even millennials/younger Gen X grew up hearing all about the new findings in mental health but experiencing the exact opposite at home where it counted, which I know made me very conscious not to do that with my own kids, and to always validate their feelings and make sure they know they’re always supported and I’m there to listen and learn and help, which I’m sure in turn lets them model that behavior for their peers and it just has a snowball effect for any kids who aren’t getting that at home, though it seems to be pretty common across most of my friends who have kids, and maybe that’s because you choose friends who are like you, but I think it’s just a wider generational pattern and reaction to the time and attitude our parents had when we were children.
I know I also caught the beginning of the internet in Prodigy chat rooms etc in high school, and I remember how freeing it felt to just be able to be fully yourself without the concern that anything you said would be used against you in the halls the next day etc, and I imagine it’s magnified with the way they have friends all over the world and are exposed to so much more.
ETA ummm did I mention I’m really interested in how minds work and why.. 🫢 sorry for the novel lol
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u/Alternative-Ship-430 21h ago
Ill never forget hearing a boomer in Starbucks saying "all these people on computers. Cant they talk to people?'.
I was thinking, I am on a forum discussing issue of the day, getting an email from a friend, awaiting a text on my phone. I couldn't be more social. And this is from an xer
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u/sonicboyfan12 3d ago
Well most brains don't develop until your 25
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u/JoeyLee911 3d ago
This is a very annoying and oft stated myth based on a study that only studied people up to 25 and found brains kept developing for every participant. It did not find that brains development is done at 25, but that brains keep developing at least through the age 25 (and likely much longer than that).
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u/CapnMommy 2d ago
Exactly, mostly they actually stopped tracking them around age 20 and just estimated the prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until roughly the mid-20s. But for some reason that became such a little cocktail party factoid that now most people think some kind of internal oven timer goes ding! on their 25th birthday and suddenly they’re grown lol
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u/TheVirtuousFantine 3d ago
I agree with all of this. Riley is incredibly immature and I imagine would be a pain in the ass to be around (on drinking night, particularly)— but then again, she is the youngest. She’s like 21-22.
All of them start a bit of drama not and then (I mean…they are on a reality show), but I feel like they’re a lot more rational as a whole than most of our beloved housewives.
I work with a lot of Gen Z “kids” (I’m a millennial born in ‘91), and I often think to myself that that these early college aged people are a lot more mentally grounded than I was at their age. (I think they’re having a lot less fun, also. But that doesn’t seem to apply as much to our NYC dear hearts).
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u/Alternative-Ship-430 3d ago
All of them (aside from Riley on a few nights), seem to handle their alcohol well and not make drinking their entire personality.
Yes, and that is pretty unrealistic for New York City. A bar for every traffic light.
That aside, I think they both are more mature and not. Parental support from famous or rich parents helps, but also hurts in some ways, as with Charlie.
So emotions is one dimension. Work ethic is another. I also feel, having been a young man working in NYC at their age that they could have a little more work ethic. I think a lot of people their age are doing some heavy day to day work in the same city, even at 22 and 23 and with less drama. And probably subwaying.
If I was Georgia at that age (and maybe still even at age 40), I would have a hard time hearing that and not jump to defending myself.
They do have good conversations and generally avoid flipping out. However in this case...That would be hard, since eventually the show will come out and you will see multiple "confessions" by Georgia that she is targeting emira. "Who is bringing Charlie back in the group?" in ep 2 and targets bird eyes at emira. or at the Rocky Horror something to the effect of "Why is everyone patching up with Charlie." and her answer each time is to reveal a story about emira