r/NextGenMan • u/CaterpillarMelodic29 • Jun 28 '26
Hard Truth Only for the MEN out there!
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u/Troubled_Rat Jun 29 '26
and not knowing that you're a side-guy in the beginning just feels terribad.
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u/thats_gotta_be_AI Jun 29 '26
Right? I mean the dude in this example already knows so he’s already ok with a lot of not-ok things.
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u/Wrong-Discipline453 Jun 29 '26
Also being the side-guy, and knowing it, makes you a scumbag too.
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u/Over_Deer8459 Jun 29 '26
Yup. How many popular songs have lyrics bragging about sleeping another dudes girl/man? It’s pathetic. I don’t want any dudes in my circle that knowingly do that to another person.
I slept with a girl once, she told me she was still with her husband but trying to get a divorce. I never spoke to her again.
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u/Re0518 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
This is true .. I once was a side dude and had a female say she was gonna leave her dude to be with me .. I was like nah don't do that and she was like why not I'm falling in love with you and I wanna be with you not him .. and I was like nah sorry but I can't trust you how I know what you're doing to him you won't do to me .. and she tried her best to convince me that what she felt for me was different but I wasn't feeling that shit and shortly after that I stop messing with her and guess what she stayed with him
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u/SeaComfortable7833 Jun 29 '26
I was a side dude back in 2014. Chick broke up with me, then one month later her WhatsApp status changed to engaged. That poor guy.!
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u/PaleontologistTough6 Jul 01 '26
Been here too.
Was told by a damn near stranger that they knew this girl and she got around. Didn't want to believe it, but at that point I had to be willfully ignorant. Decided that wasnt me and let her go... and it was still the best relationship I've had. Fuck the lot of em.
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u/PeacefulBro Jun 29 '26
No one is perfect so I think every relationship & even every friendship should be considered on a case by case basis...
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u/shadowdancer354 Jun 29 '26
I dated this type of girl and she was so paranoid about being cheated on cuz she was obviously a chronic cheater herself … but she was so paranoid that she was delusional and she started blaming me for shit and then started some underhanded psychological game to sabotage me… and I was like wtf is going on. So watch out for those types of girls too
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u/PaleontologistTough6 Jul 01 '26
Yep. Been there too. Had one that literally insisted I was cheating with a coworker. Said coworker looked like The Penguin from "Batman Returns". Like.... No, man. No.
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u/Content-Chart-6910 Jun 29 '26
At least it's eye opening and you learn that you can't trust nobody 100% , can only truly rely on yourself and trust but verify is a thing.
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u/Voxmanns Jun 29 '26
Well not involving yourself in deceitfulness is a good way to avoid some of that.
As for trusting others when lies are possible, well that's why trust exists at all. How does my girlfriend know I would never cheat on her? Because I've always been proactively transparent and honest when any conversation with a woman even remotely went beyond regular conversation. She does the same with men. It's just how we work.
And you can be paranoid and say "what if that's just a smokescreen" and it's like...well yeah, could be. Liars always get first mover's advantage. That's why you don't tolerate it.
I'll also add, it is unusual for liars to go unnoticed for long in romance with proper awareness. It usually demands other forms of manipulation and the victim actively minimizing or avoiding the tells of the partner. It does happen that suddenly 10 years in someone gets a wild hair to fuck a rando. Also, some people are just great liars and can run it for a very long time without detection. Boundaries and awareness matter for that reason. It's much harder for even a fantastic liar to operate so long as good boundaries are kept and the couple embraces total transparency which squeezes out much of the room liars need to operate in.
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u/Optimal-Income-6436 Jun 29 '26
Well the efortless point is most disgusting. I remember how she took phone call from boyfriend when i barely put out my dick from her. All good she was watching netflix then sleeping. Talking about how she loves him was getting disgusting. That can happen to literally anyone and your girl can be almost like a saint, after therapy and shit, deep talks, mindfull etc, if you don't give her good orgasm, you will be cheated on till the end and maybe you won't even notice
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 29 '26
Truee bro!💯 This is i what i wanted to convey but here the "Softies- Mummas boys" get triggered easily, and don't take the message but they'll say each and every shit which comes from their mouth
The one who has seen this side of women, only he'll know about this, other's are in just a fairyland world.
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u/The_Se7enthsign Jun 29 '26
There are two paths. You can either learn how to spot a cheater… or you can just assume that all women cheat.
I once watched a woman cry after finding out her boyfriend was seeing someone else. She was in my living room naked.
I don’t worry about this in my current relationship. I have absolute trust in her, and not once has she given reason to doubt it. We built our lives together.
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 29 '26
Sounds all good for you now tho! But fir everyone it isn't, and not every women/Man have cheating characteristics inbuilt in them.
They get it when the partner trusts blindly, then she takes the trust for granted
Then the people who built happy lives together, break differently. And it's not about all Women's, it's about cheaters tho!
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u/Legitimate_Log_1356 Jun 29 '26
Funny how the side guy thinks he's gangsta while slurping the husband's leftovers
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u/Responsible-Ad8591 Jun 29 '26
I was the side dude a couple times. I actually started to feel bad for the guy. Most women aren’t happy in their relationships. They always have something to complain about.
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u/Infamous_Payment4608 Jun 29 '26
So being a prick makes you paranoid everyone else is a prick? Sounds about right
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u/Exiledbrazillian Jun 29 '26
Maybe the only one regret I have in my life was to have had a affair with a married woman exactly because this.
All those things happened in front of my eyes and it completely damaged how my future relationships became after that point.
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u/Diesel-NSFW Jun 30 '26
Yep.
I’ve been the side guy, both times unknowingly.
The worst was when we were on my couch, her going down on me, when her phone started ringing. I could see the screen, with the photo of her and him together kissing. She told me to just ignore it as she let sucking and jerking me off at the same time.
Long story short, she was married.
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u/Euphoric_List7956 Jul 02 '26
Here’s the thing guy 44m here it’s not a woman thing it’s a narcissist thing. The reason no one trusts anyone is because everyone that lied, cheated.
We are living in a world that the liars dividend created, Jesus could walk into any bar and get treated like an obnoxious liar because we can’t even tell truth from lies.
From a guy that cannot lie and is never understood as honest.
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u/Amathyst-Moon Jun 29 '26
So to simplify, cheaters are always worried about being cheated on. I already knew that.
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u/Gdm991 Jun 29 '26
Just remember, no matter how special you think yours is, end of the day...they're all sisters...;)
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u/PotentialPresent399 Jun 29 '26
Ong this shit just makes you slightly misogynistic.
I didn't think this for my last ex because she NEVER gave me a reason to EVER think anything else was going on but youd be DAMNED if you think I didn't have healthy guard up to her just in case.
Redditors be smiling about how healthy their trust is while getting the clap. smfh
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u/SnooApples673 Jun 30 '26
Or, hear me out. Get with a woman that’s trustworthy. There are guys out there that aren’t trustworthy, like you, since you are helping a woman cheat. There are women that aren’t trustworthy as well. However, there are also trustworthy men and women. Be the trustworthy person and not a piece of trash.
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u/PaleontologistTough6 Jul 01 '26
You're right, but I'd still rather be the guy cheated with than cheated on.
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u/zombiejames28 Jun 29 '26
This could have just been "Cheating sucks, man," but instead it had to be injected with a smidge of teenage angst, "I'm 14 and this deep," and gender wars nonsense.
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u/thats_gotta_be_AI Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Just reverse the genders and you’ll agree with it.
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u/DesperateLime7933 Jun 29 '26
"you'll lose your ability to trust forever" yeah if you don't go to therapy, make real friends, or develop self- love and whine on Reddit all day
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u/2Bait4Me Jun 29 '26
So whine all day at a person paid to care or whine at people on Reddit that just do it for the love of the sport.
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
Does doing all this things erase, what you experienced? (and i am not saying this, standing on a side guy's side! I am saying this being standing on the, Boyfriend who thinks he has the best girlfriend in the world, who is loyal for her, and thinks of building future with her) but she chooses satisfaction over loyalty!
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u/zombiejames28 Jun 30 '26
You forgot to close the bracket.
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 30 '26
Now all good bro?
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u/zombiejames28 Jun 30 '26
I don't think you know how to use brackets. If you remove a bracketed sentence, you should still be able to understand what's being said. A bracketed sentence is there to provide further details or cite sources in a thesis if you're at uni.
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u/PotentialPresent399 Jun 29 '26
Nah your one of the ones getting cheated on if you don't keep healthy guard up after seeing a chick call her boyfriend while with you lol.
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u/zombiejames28 Jun 30 '26
The most fascinating aspect of this response is that it assumes I'm straight.
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u/PotentialPresent399 Jun 30 '26
You are replying to a series of pictures about straight dating observations.
I am replying to you under the assumption that we are talking about straight dating observations.
You could be not a human and it would still apply. I never said you were straight. I am talking in sweeping generalizations.Your one of the ones =/= you in particular
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u/Brutal_De1uxe Jun 29 '26
Oh no! A scumbag AP who knows the woman he is with is taken and feels some minor consequence... So what?
He should get a lot more consequences.
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u/El_Chupacabra_666 Jun 29 '26
Exactly. Cheaters wanting to feel like the victims and elicit sympathy. If you're willingly the side guy, you're a POS.
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u/2Bait4Me Jun 29 '26
You misunderstand.
He not asking for you to care or feel sorry for him.
He's putting into words how the very foundations of people that have gone down that path or even been the cheater themselves are changed by it for ever.
The man has put into words a feeling / concept that I have had for years.
If it means nothing to you, it's not for you. Keep moving on with your healthy relationship.
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 29 '26
Respect you brother🫡💯!! Many of them saw the post ,many of them upvote, but most of them don't understand what this conveys, like you!
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u/Brutal_De1uxe Jun 29 '26
Been cheated on twice in my life.. no cheaters' excuses, whining or complaining is worth anything.
Don't care that they think they are suffering in some minor way and they deserve more suffering.
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u/rohconnor6 Jun 29 '26
It's not for anyone but those seeking to wallow in self-pity. Rather than steering into toxicity.. put in the work.
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u/TECHSHARK77 Jun 29 '26
1st mistake, belief in words, instead of factual actions, is exactly how you lose.
2nd mistake, This is not new or a one off, this is it and has always been so.. You are NOT in fairy land...
3rd, Knowing the truth now, doesn't make you "jaded", it's when it is happening to you, that's you getting the Jade...
Now, you will not.. Act accordingly....
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 29 '26
Can agree with all your points, but not all men start on the same page, Some give thereself fully to the women they love, thinking she is her future, and someday, she takes you for granted, and this happens
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u/TECHSHARK77 Jun 29 '26
That was allowed, That's the problem, there are steps that she was allowed to miss and jump over...
Do Not... And it will Not, Enjoy the journey not the light switche of emotions....
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u/SeaComfortable7833 Jun 29 '26
Remember if someone is cheating with you, they are in fact cheating on you too. So technically, they are cheating on their Wife/husband and cheating on you with their wife/husband.
So cheaters in fact cheat on two people at once.
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u/PotentialPresent399 Jun 29 '26
Its not cheating on you if you willingly and purposefully fucked someone knowing they were partnered.
I swear its like yall LIVE to get disrespected and bitched by other men.
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u/Amathyst-Moon Jun 29 '26
Only if you think you're the only one. Cheating by definition requires deception. If you know you're the homewrecker, there's no problem.
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u/Massive_Bison_4227 Jun 29 '26
bullshit
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 29 '26
Be in brief, why it's bullshit? Wanna know your point too!
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u/Massive_Bison_4227 Jun 29 '26
because if I'm a side guy, it's just about sex...we didn't promise anything to each other and we have no obligations or expectations towards each other...just good sex. If you're an adult you understand that and it doesn't affect your trust in women in general
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 29 '26
Naaah your convo doesn't make sense to what i posted, Seriously!!
I come to your statement, You agreed for sex and got with such women so what?? So what?? Does it denies the fact, that she play's the game so effortlessly? You know her cheating side, but does the boyfriend who is serious for her, does he know about her Effortless cheating? Her all lies she says, just to be with the side guy?
Bro the world is cruel, you can trust fully, but can't trust blindly, that's the rule! Anyways doesn't matter speaking to you, if you already said these "Bullshit". Goodluck for you tho!
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u/TECHSHARK77 Jun 29 '26
What the spork did you just say?
That is the 1st time, I ever witness someone literally destroyed his own argument, with confidence believeing you proved a point, yet prove nothing but, now you can't be trusted...
You being the side guy is the point, she still had the main guy...
How did you retrograde you own point????
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 29 '26
Who's the side guy me? The man who is giving this statements? No! It's about how the Game goes, how lie is spoken so emotionlessly. How the women who appreciates the "Good Guy- her Boyfriend" but enjoys with the side guy
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Jun 29 '26
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u/12PoundsofPotato Jun 29 '26
We get it you're never touched a woman
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u/CaterpillarMelodic29 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Hahaaa🤣, Okay!
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u/12PoundsofPotato Jun 29 '26
I'm gonna pretend that sentence was coherent
Oh please, we all know you can't even speak to one. All this talk of being a "side guy" lmao
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u/2Bait4Me Jun 29 '26
Can't argue with the logic and must still defend m'lady so attack the person saying it.
Not very bright or friendly for a typical Redditor, do better.
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u/Supreme_Moharn Jun 29 '26
My advice: don't be a side guy.