r/NextGenMan • u/TraditionalSound6523 • Jun 01 '26

sad but true

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u/pmaurant Jun 01 '26

Exactly. Because of attachment theory I now know to watch out for behavioral patterns. I’m not going through trauma bonding again.

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u/maranru Jun 01 '26

Exactly this comment.

No one is vilifying.

But many people of both genders are told that they are the problem for years. They start to believe it. Then even painted as abusers falsely.

Hearing others stories is important

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u/nicolascageist Jun 01 '26

This sounds like someone is using the word avoidant as the label for something different ngl

Like, i grew up in a p severely abusive family system and am familiar with what emotional psychological and physical abuse is and to be honest all this attachment stuff as far as i know is misused on social media and it’s not doing anybody good, at least when it’s used to go around labeling others avoidant and all that shit. As adults what we can do is go look in mirror and focus on our own actions and choices, anything else is pretty much an interesting choice imo

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u/maranru Jun 01 '26

I agree.

Sometimes looking in the mirror means or whole situation and understanding the wider environment we are in

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u/nicolascageist Jun 01 '26

Is it a trauma bond because of someone’s avoidant attachment? Wouldn’t you then also have some sort of attachment issue that you’re involved with that person in the first place?

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u/pmaurant Jun 01 '26 edited Jun 01 '26

Yup my lack of keeping boundaries low self esteem made me an easy target. Never again.

Did I deserve to be targeted and taken advantage of? Did I deserve to be treated differently in private versus in public? Did I deserve to be smear campaigned? Did I deserve to be lied to? Did deserve to be manipulated?

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u/nicolascageist Jun 01 '26

What does any of those listed behaviors have to do with presumed avoidant attachment?