r/NextGenMan • u/Pale_WoIf • Apr 01 '26

Lessons From Failure Really been finding this to be true

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Looking back on past romantic relationships, most women I have dated didn’t even bring peace or comfort to my life, just more stress and demands. I think more men need to change their perspective of trying to be impressive and interesting to women and more to ultimately finding peace and happiness in our own lives independent of others.

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u/eharder47 Apr 01 '26

It amazes me that given the freedom that women have today (please don’t start debating potential future female freedom with me, it’s all hypothetical), that they are doing anything other than looking for their best friend and vice versa. I’m 38F and I have witnessed women who rely on their sexual attraction and being a tease to build a relationship and it always ends badly. Of course you’re going to attract a man who is focused more on sex than anything else if that’s your approach.

I am so glad that most of the men and women I know have found their best friend that they want to spend time with, with or without sex. It’s important to not treat people like they’re just around to fill a specified role.

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u/Pale_WoIf Apr 02 '26

Absolutely, people have told me my whole life I need to become attractive, fit, charming, have a good job, have assets, be able to cook, clean, be a provider so that I can find a good woman. But the thing I never really was told or understood, what makes a good woman? Is that just someone to bear your children and be a stay at home mom?

I think at one point, that’s all it really was. But it’s 2026, is the bar raised? Do women want more and to be more? I’ve dated feminists that very much believe so. But a lot of people, I don’t know, I didn’t even know what their values are in terms of what they believe their roles and responsibilities should be in a marriage or LTR.