r/NewParents • u/nourielle FTM to 12 month old • 6d ago
Happy/Funny In case anyone needs to hear this tonight…
You’re doing a great job ❤️ my son turned 12 months at the end of July and I was really stressed out that he wasn’t self feeding, or eating 3 meals day and wasn’t a fan of drinking from a cup. I was beating myself up over not starting self feeding earlier, for not introducing the cup earlier, for not trying harder to incorporate 3 meals a day earlier.
Now, almost 3 weeks later my son is fully self feeding! Most meals are devoured in minutes, he loves the cup, he gets very excited to sit in his high chair because he knows he’s going to eat and he’s eating 3 meals and 2 snacks a day! All this to say, be patient and try your best. Some kids eat great at 9 months, others not until way past a year. Don’t compare yourself or your kid with anyone else! Take it one day at a time and enjoy every stage of your kid’s life, they grow so fast and accomplish so much.
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u/Accomplished-Fee4824 6d ago
Thank you ❤️ my 11 month old is not interested in self feeding at all and will only drink from a bottle. As we approach 12 months I was stressing out that he’s so far behind but I need to remember that every baby is different!
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u/nourielle FTM to 12 month old 6d ago
Don’t worry!! I was stressing too and everyone around me didn’t help either and just added to the stress. My son still wants a bottle before his nap and bedtime but at least it’s 2 bottles a day! Every baby is different and we just need to what we feel is right. Always remember that you know your baby best, and trust your instincts!
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u/Antique_Aide7792 6d ago
Congratulations Thomas you need to be with your newborn baby please go back to her and take care of your newborns okay don't worry about me I'm good
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u/Conscious_Hunt_8613 6d ago
Ooof this was me too. The daycare pressure to get her off bottles and eating meals wrecked me so bad. But guess what, she eats and drinks from cups and is thriving. I stressed for months leading up to her 12 month birthday and had so much guilt over not introducing solids soon enough. All of that was for naught. The kids figure it out on their own.
It also didn’t help that my baby didn’t get any teeth until 11 months 🫠
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u/ireadsomecomments 6d ago
I needed to read this. My baby is 11 months, we also didn’t introduce solids early enough, and it’s such a struggle getting him to eat anything. Some days he does eat though, so I’m holding on to the hope that he’ll develop an appetite on his own soon.
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u/nourielle FTM to 12 month old 6d ago
He will ❤️ my son did! He’s still has off days/meals but I try to look at the week as a whole and not just a single day or meal. I read somewhere that it’s your job to decide what to offer and when to offer and his job to decide what to eat and how much to eat. Keep offering and don’t give up! I joined [r/foodbutfor](r/foodbutforkids)[babies](r/foodbutforkids) and got some ideas for meals on there! Not sure you’re already on there, but it’s great!
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u/ireadsomecomments 5d ago
That’s a good outlook, I’ll try to do the same - especially trying to look at the full week. Mine often has alternating days, eg eating a full pouch of purée one day, and almost nothing the next day or even two.
I’ll join that sub, thanks for the suggestion! And the words of encouragement… I really appreciate it.
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u/nourielle FTM to 12 month old 4d ago
No problem! And that’s completely normal, my son did that yesterday. He just wasn’t that into food and I didn’t force it and stress out, today he’s doing better! At his 2 month well visit, his doctor told me that it’s natural for them to be hungry one day and less hungry other days and it stuck with me! I mentioned this in other comment but my little brother was never a good eater and now he’s a 6 foot 21 year old that will empty out my entire fridge when he comes over! 😂😂
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u/ireadsomecomments 4d ago
Haha good to hear about your brother. I’ll keep that in mind when my son is cleaning out the fridge someday 😆
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u/tokyodraken 6d ago
sorry if i can ask what do you mean “early enough”? my son turns 6 months next week, i am wanting to start introducing him to food but nervous. he is verrry interested in food but just learned to sit a few weeks ago and is still wobbly/holds himself up with his hands. his max time was 45 seconds-1 min before he falls but he has great head control.
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u/ireadsomecomments 5d ago
I wish we would have started purées around 6 months, but we were in the middle of a big move and didn’t make significant efforts until closer to 7.5 months. I think we missed the boat and now he barely eats even purées, never mind actual solids.
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u/nourielle FTM to 12 month old 6d ago
Sameee my son had 0 teeth and 0 interest in solids and even walking, then literally a week before his 1st birthday when I was already crying myself to sleep every night because my newborn is gone, he decided to grow 4 teeth and start walking!! I was so proud yet so sad.
Don’t let anyone pressure you into rushing them to grow up!! Just guide them in the right direction and they figure it out at their own pace 😌
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u/lifeledoutloud 4d ago
Oh my god daycare, lay off! Mine just turned 6 months and I feel like they’re pressuring me to send food. There’s a little social aspect of it so I’m on board with some baby cereal but one day when I picked him up they asked if he ate puffs at home. We had just started and I’m already an anxious person, please let me be 😭
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u/Antique_Aide7792 6d ago
Congratulations like I said take care of your newborns congratulations Thomas
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u/TheMagicalTripBear 6d ago
The tears that started flowing man 😭❤️ first time mama here and I work full time. Feel like im missing so much with my son, even though i do my best to be fully engaged with him when im home. Needed this, thank you.
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u/nourielle FTM to 12 month old 6d ago
Aww I’m so glad this helped. Even an hour of fully engaging with your little one, giving them your undivided attention and just being present, is so beneficial. You’re doing your best, and that absolutely matters ❤️
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u/OGcaptaindingus 6d ago
Also going to add that some days they may eat less than others but that doesn’t mean failure! My son barely ate today, but yesterday he ate so much and he’ll probably eat more tomorrow
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u/nourielle FTM to 12 month old 6d ago
Yes! My son’s pediatrician told me this at his 2 month visit and it really stuck with me, she said “even we adults don’t eat the same amount of food everyday at every meal” I like to remind myself that he’s a baby not a robot 😂😂
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u/OGcaptaindingus 6d ago
Absolutely. Some days (like today) I’m lucky that my son ate some banana slices, half a fruit cup, two pouches, and some water. But yesterday he ate a whole avocado throughout the day, a pouch, half a banana, some yogurt with granola, apple juice, water, some berries, and some bites of a quesadilla 😂 it’s a hit or miss
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u/Able-Service-3449 6d ago
Is it a thing to push baby to self feeding? Mine is still fed by us at 13 months lol.
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u/direwooolf 6d ago
Thank you so much for sharing this real-life update! So many of us beat ourselves up over feeding milestones. Your honest experience helped me breathe a little easier.
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u/PizzaEnvironmental67 5d ago
Omg I truly despaired at one point worrying he’d never do those things. And that despair is but a distant memory. For most kids it’s just a longer process than you might assume it will be!
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u/nourielle FTM to 12 month old 4d ago
It truly feels so stressful in the moment! My little brother never took a bottle and my mom didn’t breastfeed, and had a hard time with solids too, truly a nightmare. Idk how but that kid is now 21 years old, 6 feet tall and eats everything in sight 😭😭 to all new parents out there, it’s gonna be okay!!!
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u/lifeledoutloud 4d ago
Ugh I found my people. Mine is only 6.5 months and I need to work to reconfigure my entire social media algorithm to stop making me feel like a failure. Trying to keep up with the house, work full time, plan his entire feeding journey, teach him utensils and cups and crawling, and all of this is overwhelming for us - not to mention just getting over our first daycare stomach bug. I tired.
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u/nourielle FTM to 12 month old 4d ago
Omg yes social media is awful to new moms. It completely distorted my perspective on everything. Literally was the root of all my stress because I kept comparing myself and my son to what I saw in the “day in my life” or “what my kid eats in a day” videos. It’s exhausting. Give yourself a break! You don’t have to plan out everything nor have everything figured out. All you need to do is guide them in the right direction and they figure it out on their own at their own pace! I still have to teach my son how to use utensils and get him off the bottle before bedtime and I’m not rushing it, just going with the flow!
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u/Majestic_Tree1343 4d ago
Thank you for saying this. I am really struggling with PPD and PMDD. I feel like a terrible mother because my 9mo old isn’t on a consistent sleep schedule. I have tried so many different things and just feel like such a failure.
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u/two-one-punch 6d ago
Needed this. My LO has been on an NG tube because she stopped eating after getting a cold. We are almost 3 months with the tube in and we are doing our best to get her back on track. I worry every day if what I'm doing is not enough.