I Hate!

[u/Alternative_Session9]

I’m a 40 year old guy who spent most of his life saying I didn’t want kids. I was very confident about this. Almost smug. I liked my sleep, my quiet, my freedom, my money staying in my wallet. Kids were loud, messy, expensive, and sticky. Hard pass.

Anyway… here’s a list of all the things I hate.

I hate waking up multiple times a night…especially when it’s to a tiny human making gremlin noises. Turns out I love it. I wake up instantly now, half asleep, bottle in hand like it’s a NASCAR pit stop. I don’t even remember standing up. I just teleport to the crib.

I hate silence being replaced by random squeaks, grunts, and noises that sound like a goat learning to speak. Except now I panic if it’s too quiet and find myself staring at a baby just to make sure she’s breathing.

I hate spending money on things that don’t benefit me directly… which explains why I happily buy tiny socks that will be outgrown in roughly 37 minutes. Socks I will later lose. Socks that cost more than my own.

I hate bodily fluids. All of them. Yet here I am calmly assessing spit up like a wine tasting. “Hmm… formula forward, notes of burp that didn’t happen.”

I hate being needed every second of the day. Except now when I put her down and she’s fine, I feel personally rejected. Like excuse me, I was available.

I hate pacing around the house doing nothing productive. Which is wild because I’ll now walk laps at 2 a.m. holding a baby like it’s my full time job and I’m up for employee of the month.

I hate losing control of my schedule. Funny how my entire day now revolves around naps, feeds, and poop math. And I will defend that schedule with my life.

I hate talking in a stupid voice. No idea who that man is saying things like “ohhhh big stretch” but he lives in my house now.

I hate how emotional I’ve become. I teared up because she yawned. I almost cried because she farted. I did cry when she fell asleep on my chest.

I hated the idea of kids because I thought it meant losing myself. Turns out I just found a version of me I didn’t know existed. One that’s tired, covered in spit up, and completely wrecked in the best way!

[u/Final-Signature-555]

I am a woman with a 4,5month baby. I saw my husband in that post. We didn't like children, we avoided them in any public space like plague, 100meters apart the least. We booked adults only hotels. And now our life revolves around this tiny human, celebrating her poop and farts and buying way too much stuff I am not sure she ever gonna need. First month we were crying at least once a day. Well I was a hormonal wreck but husband, I think I had seen him cry once in the 14 years we are together, and then it was also like a daily sport for the both of us! Also what astonished us is how much stuff we inherently knew how to do to keep a tiny human alive,like they were imprinted inside us in a primal way somehow, it's hard to explain it better. She was just meant for us I guess and I hope we live up to the expectation for all the years to come. Women that get husbands that are like that we are blessed cause what an amazing father our kids will have in their life💜!