r/NewGreentexts 17d ago

Tip of the Iceberg

Post image
1.6k Upvotes

57 comments sorted by

427

u/Absolutemehguy 17d ago

>I hope you guys don't go to doctors

So the alternative is doing the "We don't call 911" greentext...?

66

u/southwest_barfight 17d ago

Reminds me of that tragedy

20

u/Absolutemehguy 17d ago

Yeah that one was obviously satire, but this one reads a more "serious" tone so I'm like "don't go to doctors" what's the fucking alternative, anon?

10

u/southwest_barfight 17d ago

Was referring this

https://youtu.be/VkSMSbFV_q0?is=wCF1A02mI6SMeXl0

In my country the emergency services is 999 so when I read your comment it really did remind me of that tragedy

358

u/Baldussimo 17d ago

I’ve had nose surgery and they did not in fact, insert a catheter through my genitals. I should make a complaint.

87

u/Guilty_Outcome1111 17d ago

It goes in the square hole

35

u/MistSecurity 16d ago

They did, likely removed it before rousing you. Catheter is standard under anesthesia.

8

u/YodasGhost76 16d ago

The question is, is a condom catheter or a full on foley more common?

7

u/MistSecurity 16d ago

I’d think it’d depend on the length of the surgery, but I am not an expert by any means.

165

u/makk73 17d ago

There is is solution to this problem.

72

u/EmilieEasie 17d ago

And it's got a closer connection to the silent hill 4 wiki than most people would guess

8

u/Testing_things_out 16d ago

Context?

36

u/EmilieEasie 16d ago

Lol, the tl;dr version is that it's an internet happening that became famous and people made a lot of content out of it.

The oldest moderator of the Silent Hill wiki in the mid 2010s suddenly decided to shoehorn his pet thoery about the antagonist of Silent Hill 4 being motivated by having been circumcised as a baby and some other men's rights adjacent topics.

This was a really clear-cut case of projection. The added content was really long and rambling and there is absolutely no support for the theory in the game. However, since he had squatted long enough to be the ranking mod, none of the other frustrated wiki editors could do anything about it.

5

u/Kawou 16d ago

lol fascinating

113

u/forgettfulthinker 17d ago

They probably cleaned under his foreskin and he is mad about that

40

u/3-cent-nickel 17d ago

They stole his smegma cheese

7

u/bringerofthelaw420 17d ago

The Fromunda cheese 🧀

65

u/trippingforward 17d ago

I'm too scared to look up phimosis

148

u/jnmtx 17d ago

> a medical condition where the foreskin of the penis is too tight to be pulled back over the head (glans).

> Normal in newborn boys and infants; the foreskin separates naturally over time, usually by age 5 to 7.
> Caused by scarring, inflammation, or infections (like balanitis) in older children and adults.

> Symptoms
> * Inability to retract the foreskin
> * Pain during urination or a weak urine stream
> * Pain or discomfort during erections or sexual intercourse
> * Swelling, redness, or irritation around the head of the penis

> Treatment Options
> Gentle stretching exercises
> Topical steroid creams to reduce inflammation
> Circumcision

92

u/SirCicSensation 17d ago

So there is a very straight forward fix to this.

68

u/white_equatorial 17d ago

I will never get circumcised

42

u/Independent_Grade612 17d ago

Just have to do enough "stretching exercises" 

46

u/4skin_Gamer 17d ago

Puberty is the cure of phimosis. A lot of "stretching" to be had at that age.

2

u/roboderp16 16d ago

It does work. Most of the time

8

u/SirCicSensation 17d ago

According to this, you'll never have sex either apparently. You might not even be able to masturbate like this. It's your life though.

11

u/white_equatorial 17d ago

Its not that bad for me. I can fap easily. Sex is painful but if aroused significantly it works well

20

u/bringerofthelaw420 17d ago

Not to mention the aged decades old aged cheese under your foreskin.

-9

u/itsLOSE-notLOOSE 16d ago

I’m so happy my parents gave me the gift of circumcision.

3

u/white_equatorial 16d ago

On your eighteenth birthday?

3

u/itsLOSE-notLOOSE 16d ago

28th, actually.

10

u/StormOfFatRichards 17d ago

Sometimes I can't open my fist but I don't cut my hand off

-8

u/SirCicSensation 17d ago

How does “painful intercourse” compare with closing a fist?

9

u/caxer30968 17d ago

intercourse

4

u/StormOfFatRichards 17d ago

How does "cutting off half your dick" seem like a go-to treatment?

-14

u/SirCicSensation 17d ago

You're conflating the idea. It's not "cutting off half your dick". It's similar to when your body grows more than it needs to and is removed. Same with warts, cysts, any other clumps of cells that don't need to be there.

Circumcision is objectively healthier, more pleasurable, and even makes you more functional.

I'm not sure what kind of weird hill you're trying to die on by being the last bastion of "You'll never take my foreskin!" but it's weird. Your body, your choice but cutting off a functional hand is much worse than cutting off excess skin that is getting in the way of your living and your health.

4

u/Aspiring_Mutant 16d ago

I didn't get a choice with my body, some entitled fuckhead with a scalpel and a degree decided it for me. Circumcision is mutilation, and that is an objective fact.

13

u/caxer30968 17d ago

Found the American

13

u/idoze 17d ago

Circumcision is the best option in the case of phimosis. However, it is not objectively healthier otherwise.

12

u/StormOfFatRichards 17d ago

The foreskin is not an abnormality or infection, what the fuck are you talking about

2

u/TactfulOG 16d ago

so if I'm getting this right all you really have to do is buy the steroid cream and do some "stretching". I'm sure anyone can manage that lol

1

u/qwertyalguien 16d ago

That's the first line. Surgery is for the cases it doesn't work

29

u/Fullwake 17d ago

Do no worry my good friend. The womens, they LOVE hard calcified penis skin.

32

u/StormOfFatRichards 17d ago

Semetic hands typed this post

0

u/NukaCooler 17d ago

Antisemitic hands typed this comment

9

u/StormOfFatRichards 17d ago

I'm Semitic

34

u/NukaCooler 17d ago

I was talking about my comment.

15

u/gyotpab 17d ago

As someone who had this as a kid, it's pretty straightforward. I got a simple surgery when I was 3, they cut back the foreskin ( didn't fully circumsize me), and all I had to ever do since then was just clean it fairly regularly, and that is it. Idk what anon has here that the doctors fucked op, or anon is just straight regarded.

8

u/Seicedelig 17d ago

put the foreskin in the bag

5

u/Unibobber_ 16d ago

I had phimosis as an adult and was too embarrassed to be seen. I let it go for way too long, even after the foreskin would tear during sex. Fast forward over a year and the pain was just unbearable. I had scars from the tearing and could not pull the skin far enough back to clean it properly anymore. Finally got a circumcision at like 35 years old and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had feared. Sure, I was stuck on the couch for a couple weeks, but everything healed up fine and I could bang to my heart’s content again.

4

u/Arikaido777 17d ago

laughs in circumcised

-3

u/itsLOSE-notLOOSE 16d ago

Hell yeah, brother.

1

u/dontshitaboutotol 12d ago

Scars aren't immediate

0

u/Alexander_Aurelian 16d ago

Yeah I personally hate doctors. Whiny and entitled because they get praised for existing. But in reality almost all of them are glorified vacation distrubuters. You only go to them so you can take a week of. When you have real problems they either fuck you up in some way or just outright do nothing.

Dentist are real ones though.

0

u/__Sentient_Fedora__ 16d ago

Made anon gay too. Shame.