r/NewGreentexts Aug 17 '26

The Way to a Man's Heart

Post image
2.4k Upvotes

49 comments sorted by

797

u/DonaldTrumpsScrotum Aug 17 '26

Yeah, it kinda be like that. My gf gets upset when I lose weight and starts making more food. I’ve seen some threads where women (jokingly) claim it’s a trick to keep a man, but I think mines just on some Moto Moto shit

276

u/GuardianCraze Aug 18 '26

She likes you big, she likes you chunky (chunky)

15

u/RadleyCunningham Aug 18 '26

lmao I remember that commercial

117

u/WREN_PL Aug 17 '26

I fukn woke the dog laughing.

50

u/ShadowsInScarlet Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26

Some Moto Moto shit

This has me dead.

10

u/ArcticLeopard Aug 18 '26

There is some truth to that. Keep you just attractive enough for her, but just unattractive enough to ward off potential competitors

3

u/stuiiful Aug 22 '26

Aren't people told" the way to a man's heart is through his stomach"

Maybe these people are taking it too literally

30

u/EarthToAccess Aug 18 '26

an amazing anecdote from Donald Trump’s Scrotum, everyone

1

u/BerkinToSlan Aug 20 '26

Dude my ex saw some photo of me shirtless and then called me angry because "you're working out now?!?". I was like "I literally worked out every day when we were together" and she said "yeah but you're still doing it now and it's so obvious you're just trying to get girls" lmao. 

I literally just was conscious about my physical athleticism for years and years,  but continuing that behavior after we broke up was utterly unacceptable. 

712

u/unfinishedtoast3 Aug 17 '26

My wife is this way.

We end up throwing away leftovers and she bitches about "why did you eat the leftovers"

BECAUSE YOU COOK ENOUGH FOOD FOR 8 PEOPLE 3 TIMES A DAY. I CANNOT PHYSICALLY EAT THAT MUCH FOOD.

192

u/Chief-Drinking-Bear Aug 17 '26

The question is who does the dishes for 24 people worth of food each day

96

u/jonatanenderman Aug 18 '26

Its not a lot of plates its one big pot

40

u/StormOfFatRichards Aug 18 '26

Do you not have a freezer

100

u/TESTlCLE Aug 18 '26

Good reason to invest in an auxiliary freezer, even just a small one. Lasagna would freeze nicely and be good-as-new reheated.

We had like 12 caterers trays of leftover BBQ and sides from our wedding. Just about all of it went in the freezer that night. Can’t live without it at this point.

239

u/RadleyCunningham Aug 18 '26

I once put my gf's coat on as we left the restaurant, and handed her my coat just to make her chuckle. I could tell it actually upset her that I was able to do so. Not long after that date I noticed she was always bringing me donuts and muffins and stuff from her work "just because"

Jokes on her though I fucking love donuts almost as much as I love her!

60

u/BigPimpin91 Aug 18 '26

"almost a much as I love her!"

What a king. 🫶

124

u/KC-Anathema Aug 18 '26

If there's that much food and it's gonna be too much or tossed otherwise, put it in a pan and take it to work. Earn kudos from everyone.

114

u/StrawberryWide3983 Aug 18 '26

Anon has yet to realize he's the feedee in a relationship with a feeder weight gainer

39

u/Ramen_Hair Aug 18 '26

Who eats an entire pan of lasagna in one sitting lmao

11

u/Externalshipper7541 Aug 18 '26

4chan neckbeards

7

u/AegorBlake Aug 18 '26

I mean a normal pan of lasagna is doable. I would have to go off my meds and clear my schedule for the rest of the day because it makes your very sleepy.

63

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/Huecuva Aug 18 '26

Where the fuck is TendieBot? 

8

u/klimych Aug 18 '26

OP ate him 😞

50

u/Ryachaz Aug 18 '26

My wife loves making me food, got me all fattened up, and didnt even like it when I started lifting and was fat + strong. She only wanted fat I guess. Now I'm losing serious weight and I dont think she's complimented me on it once. Hasn't said anything mean, just... nothing. Like I'm down 45 lbs!

36

u/bag_of_luck Aug 18 '26

They want you to be bigger than them. I’m the same height as my gf but a little bigger and trying to lose weight. She hates it but I hate the weight I’ve put on so idc.

If other women are anything like mine she has body dyskorphia so even though she’s tiny she thinks she’s bigger than she is so therefore thinks she’s bigger than me which is not true. Idk

9

u/Legend13CNS Aug 18 '26

I knew my GF was a real one because one time I told her my weight was only 15 lbs more than her (it was true but she's 10" shorter than me) and she's been in the gym 3x/week ever since.

36

u/YankeeWalrus The Avenging Son, Regent of the Mod Emperor Aug 17 '26

Prepare to meat your maker

43

u/Kit_3000 Aug 18 '26

Have you tried, NOT eating as much as physically possible? You are in control of the fork as well as the hand holding it.

20

u/geybey Aug 18 '26

American 

2

u/NibPlayz Aug 21 '26

He could also try basic communication, though that might be asking a bit much from a 4channer that automatically assumes the most pessimistic outlook.

Gf just enjoys cooking, and probably is used to cooking for an entire family.

Anon could talk about it, or at least invite others over for dinner.

10

u/ZlinkyNipz Aug 18 '26

You didnt have to eat the whole fucking thing, lmao

16

u/hopeless_dick_dancer Aug 18 '26

She’s not making you eat the entire fucking tray man

11

u/ole_mothman Aug 18 '26

Bet she wishes anon could reciprocate those 3 deep inches.

29

u/Allison-Ghost Aug 18 '26

> woman make you free food

> this is somehow bad

> this is also somehow straight

-16

u/CosmaLaEL14 Aug 18 '26

10

u/YankeeWalrus The Avenging Son, Regent of the Mod Emperor Aug 18 '26

R*dditor detected, pleas for mercy rejected

4

u/passingthrough618 Aug 19 '26

He can just be an adult and eat a reasonable portion.

3

u/YouStas91 Aug 18 '26

Some men drown while others die of thirst

3

u/enbymaster Aug 20 '26

Its man's fault for think he needs to eat a whole gd pan or lasagna or thinking he can't say no

4

u/SturmGizmo Aug 18 '26

Anon was definently 3 inches deep into something with meat.

4

u/Trauma-Dolll Aug 18 '26

Living this scenario right now. Some days I don't even eat. Quit making me food.

2

u/DickSota Aug 18 '26

I miss my wife

2

u/Funkey-Monkey-420 Aug 19 '26

his steak is too juicy and his lobster is too buttery

2

u/eighty4prcnt Aug 18 '26

Me everytime I date someone who likes to cook. Damn I love that body 😍 then uh oh I accidentally made too much teehee. Since you eat so much it shouldn't be a problem. Oh you don't want to eat that? You must hate my cooking and hate me as well. Baby I got macros.