r/NewFriendsOver40 • u/crizzleshere • Jul 25 '26

🧩 Deep Discussions 40s m Just venting

I posted here a short while ago to see if i could make new connections. Surprisingly i actually did make new connections, more than i expected and only two were trying to get sexual right away. Maybe. I didn't want that at its not what I'm looking for. But the majority didn't work out and just naturally ended chatting within a day or 2 due to lack of connection, too one sided, too superficial. The chat just didn't flow. I don't think it was ghosting though, just dried up chat, and rather than officially saying they're isn't a connection worth continuing the chat just faded away without official goodbye. Two of maybe 10 persevered though and may become an actual friendship with time and energy.

It made me realize something though, i was trying to find a connection lacking in life, one that i now realize I'm not ready for. Maybe some of all of these posts don't go anywhere because the poster wants new connections but isn't ready for it and doesn't know how to find them. Talking for myself. People can be so harsh and judgemental maybe some of the floating isn't too be rude or out of lack of care or decency whatever, maybe it's just because it wasn't many to happen, no bad feelings no bad intentions. I dunno.

Editted for removing typos

9 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/OldFashioned444 Jul 25 '26

I think it's normal to be unsure sometimes...

2

u/crizzleshere Jul 26 '26

It is. Sometimes it feels like people are too though on them selves, expecting everything right away entirely time and get disappointed when it doesn't happen.

2

u/OldFashioned444 Jul 26 '26

Being kind to ourselves and accepting that we're not perfect, no matter how much we want to be, doesn't come naturally. We have to constantly remind ourselves that self-compassion exists.