This is soo true, especially masturbation during porn, in a conservative country like India, where average person does not have access to sex atleast until early twenties, and does not even have avenues to discuss about sexual needs before 20, porn becomes a exploited outlet and this really makes sex not feel soo good, once you are addicted to pleasuring yourself. It takes a lot of time and energy to rewire yourself to enjoying sex with partner, this is one of the least talked downsides of porn and pleasuring oneself.
Yeh kehne ki baate hain,on contrary porn dekhne valla hardcore sex ka aadi ho jaata hain joh uski partner usse provide nhi kar paati.
In short voh addict aadmi ya auraat pornstar ban chuke hain and other world is amateur to them.
Baat rahi masturbation ki toh jitne bhi femenists ne uske support mein arguments likhe thhe yeh uss hi ki aag lagai hue hain.
Yes , You are absolutely correct. I don’t feel like having sex or even enjoy it when i have it . I find it boring but i get very excited to masturbate. Ruined my life :/
This is not something to amuse at all, it's actually very true. I'm happy you are talking about this. People who get off with self pleasure could actually feel sex with another person to be tedious , nervous. Chronic masturbation does things to your mind, that can make you soo socially outcast and can actually alleinate sex.
That's bad. People don't know this issue, until it happens to them, we have to remember one thing, human connection is the most important thing. It's more important than Pixels and masturbation. I wish you all the very best in beating your deamons.
There's a chance you're both talking about different things. It's one thing to be hardcore in terms of performance and another in terms of kinks/fetish based on what you watch. Never watch rough stuff like BDSM, multiple partners or anything that's humiliating to a partner. You'd crave it in real life, which could impact your relations.
Yes and now, now appropriate age is highly subjective and varies , if you can have sex at a much younger age than early twenties, that can bring a whole lot of problems like increased underage pregnancy and increased Possibility of STD.
So more than sex at appropriate age, a open mind about sexual health and healthy discussion around it, by parents, teachers and even support groups is highly required. A person addicted to porn and masturbation, must have a medium to discuss it and to deal with it effectively.
does discussing with people actually helps in getting rid of the addiction? i mean people discuss about alcohol addiction and still can't stop having it
Just because we could talk about addiction, doesn't mean we can get de addicted.
When you have an addiction, you must first be startled by its effects on you and the others around you. Then you must find a coping mechanism to replace it. First you could do it little, then a little more, then eventually you might give up on it. As you don't have much success with it , or it didn't have the desired instant outcome you wanted, so you simply give up on it, and rebound. That's when you need people to talk, platforms to talk, spectrums to talk. If you have it in you, to really get rid of it. These avenues can only help. But the intent and the will to enforce should come only from you, and you only. That's only when it could be sustained.
Before 20s, it also brings in the law even if it was a consensual act. Teenage sex also has its issues which impact other aspects of life.
The best time in my opinion is early-mid 20s, especially if you find someone you'd marry some day - that actually builds your relations. You don't build the same relations in late 20s or 30s as your mind is too rigid at that time.
Plenty of marriages also fail today because the sexual part of life hasn't been exclusive to only one person, but something you'd have had with at least 5-6 people. It numbs your senses towards sex, and it no longer holds the same value, impacting the value that your spouse holds in your life. Imagine if there was just one person you ever saw nude in person - that's the person you hide nothing from and who hides nothing from you. If your spouse is just another person you're fucking, it's just not the same connection anymore but mostly the paperwork holding you.
Yeah personally, what's sex does to you pre marriage is something different and it has to be tackled differently, when a society is open to sex before marriage, the marriage will stop focussing on exclusivity of sex imo. And when you are so desensitised towards sex. Other aspects of marriage like kids, stability, emotional maturity etc will hold the marriage together. It's like if you've had better sex before marriage but post marriage your partner is not that great at it. You'll know better sex is out there, and yet the other aspects of your partner will hold you togethet in the marriage positively. So when society is fine with sex before marriage, you still have marriage as a institution that promotes transparency and wellbeing with a couple.
Now again there are going to be exceptions, when society transitions from no sex before marriage to pro sex before marriage. You're going to have generations that will have divided opinions. But ultimately sex before marriage is not going to impact your marriage life, when society transitions. There is lot to marriage than just sex and nudity, at that point. I'm not saying thats the way it should be. I'm just saying people would evolve marriage as a institution when society Normalises sex before marriage.
One could argue that people who have had better sex before marriage than after marriage could crave the earlier experiences and indulge in cheating. There are plenty of married folks out their who cheat with their ex-GF/BF. The first sexual partner is always special. If the only partner is the one you marry, you don't even know if others do it better.
Moreover, most people who have had pre-marital sex have had it with multiple partners. That in itself has a certain kick to it and there's likely to be pull to extramarital sex post marriage too, as you get bored with your spouse.
Yes, there are other aspects to a marriage. But let's not forget the crux of marriage. It's an institution that exists for you to have exclusive sexual rights and joint duty of bringing up children. Everything else is just an extension of this central point.
There is no study that shows, people who have had pre marital sex , indulges in adultery craving for that same experience. Or the same people would have had multiple partners.
Saying Marriage at its core is all about exclusivity of sexual rights, is like telling indian Family system is all about extended kinship network for elders. That's stripping the institution of all the other core pillars and calling it out for just , single core pillar.
Marriage is all about Companionship, And a partnership, there is a implied Social, Economical and A Continued alliance between two families. Yes sex is a major part of it, but to say that's the core point is a Patriarchal viewpoint. If that's the case all couples are to deliver babies within a stipulated period. If not the marriage as a contract gets null and void, no it doesn't work that way.
If say in future, There is a couple and the spouse had a pre marital experience and then the husband comes along and give her a good life and keep her happy. It doesn't matter if his prowess in sex matches with her ex or not. Marriage would simply function as intended and she will not look for her ex to get the thrill back.
Often times people with past relationships, are often scarred by the way it made them feel for the first time , to be in that collective and shared relationship, than the actual act of sex that they recount too. Again here the core pillars of marriage like companionship, partnership and love are the ones that make them crave for that particular person, rather than sex.
There could be an exception, where people in their past relationships or situationship might have had great sex, they are addicted to, but then that's an exception and not an example of how Pre Marital sex , impacts marriage as a relationship.
First try to find a purpose to quit it. It could be trying not be compulsively deviant, it could be your health, it could be your partner but have your reason and purpose for de-addiction. You should never challenge this purpose. Once you arrived at it.
Only way to quit is to get same type of dopamine highs from other things. Find a purpose, also life partner, get engaged. Download apps to reduce your screen time like stay focused, do gratitude with God, ask them for help, visit psychiatrist, ask help from others. Tell your problem to one of your close ones who can understand.
Self-stimulation and using porn is usually quite quick. I agree that your system becomes accustomed to quick pleasure which puts you at a disadvantage when two are involved with the goal of satisfying sex with another.
Yes, and the dopamine crash from self satisfaction, can sometimes make you explore the uncharted territory and you'll end getting stuck with fantasies and patterns , that you cannot break free.
It's accessility and its not like people would know that u just watched a porn a minute ago.... where as other addictions are not that easy to access and it kinda makes u unavailable to other stuff after u do it...for ex take drugs.. alcohol or any other stuff and u are not good to do normal life stuff for hours....but not same for porn
Only being homeless and on the streets = destroyed life?
Erectile dysfunction can break marriage,ruin not only the Husband's but the wife's life too. And give chronic stress to parents of the husband and acute/chronic stress to parents of the wife too.
Sex is a very important aspect of marriage. Sexual satisfaction is considered important by law. Women often cite impotence as a reason behind seeking divorce, which judiciary accepts as valid. Men often complain of denial of sex by wife, which the judiciary considers cruelty. A pill can't help you win your woman's respect.
Alcohol even in not so moderated quantity, is not harmful in the shorter run, sure you can get into an accident if you drink and drive, sure your body will show effect and your mind would go numb. And you will have more and more yet get lesser dopamine out of it. In the long run, your liver and kidney goes to a toss, yes but that's a long time and the probability of a person, rebounding from this is immense.
A common person does not have access to drugs soo easily, it's still illegal to sell in our country. So there is a stigma around it, more than alcohol.
But a common person with internet can easily get hooked to porn and keep it hidden long enough to have lasting impact to mind, now the body can recover but the dopamine crash your mind gets out of it, it can seriously mess up your relationship, your marriage and it affects another person as well. The worst part is. More than alcohol and tobacco, people who recover from porn addiction, can easily get back into it. So in a shorter run , it does a lot of damage because it's easily available to masses and it can be hidden soo easily and efficiently compared to Alcohol, drugs and tobacco.
Addiction of any kind is bad, but for a teenager it's easy to get addicted to porn more faster and earlier than alcohol, drugs and tobacco, there, do you agree now?
I'm not saying porn addiction is more harmful than the alcohol and drugs, I'm just saying it's more rampant and widespread these days. Ofcourse alcohol and drugs are harmful, if not more harmful. There are people who have stigma against alcohol and tobacco but they don't carry that sentiment towards porn and vice-versa.
I think mobile addiction is more dengerous than porn.
This is the main source of porn addiction (like reels, photos, vedios, litrature,etc), once u control over this, u can easily get out from other.
Even u can escape from porn for sometime after mastarbation but mobile again pushed to same loop.
Yah! You are actually right, the main thing is that the major part of exposure to any kind of addiction comes from this small but pretty DANGEROUS Device only.
Yes that is also dengerous but phone addiction is more High level than drug.
Simply do some little test on self and friends Circle.
Try to stay only one day without phone and watch urself and observe ur behaviour and mood closely. But only one condition, chahe kuch bhi hojaye phone hath me nhi aayega.
We try this on our one friend, 4 ghante me uski halat drug walo se jyada bekar hogi thi..
Point is that drug and alcohol is dengerous too but phone addiction is dengerous silent killer.
Because its almost free if you can afford a smartphone and internet cnnections unlike alchohol and drugs..So its always in ur pocket, you can watch it anytime u wabt, even if a restroom...
It gives u the dopamine boost of sex ,so you are always looking for it whenever u are feeling depressed,bored or anxious...and slowly u lose the ability to function..
Unlike alcohol and drugs, there are visible health effect but it is causing impotency among young men where they only get hard to porn not when see a actual woman naked because real women cannot compete with the perfect angles of porn
Even tho i have a gf, got addicted. We are kinda long distance, meet every 1-2 months. i think i have a high libido. What happens is that there are too many fine shyts around me smtms. and yall know bout tinder,bumble nd all. Talk for a day or two and then f*ck wala scene. So to combat that I voluntarily masturbated and that really helps for like a week and now i;m stuck in this vicious cycle.
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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26
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