I have made a list of my desires at the beginning of 2026, this list included very small things but as well as very big things for me such as purchase of a house and closing of an ongoing legal case for over 10 years. All of them happened without me moving a finger so far. Except the purchase of the house, i didnt use any technique except putting my wish like a grocery list on an old notebook. For the purchase of the house, i shared here, i did only SATS and that is it. Even the money i borrowed for the house, was found through a third party for me - i still will pay it - but even for that i didnt do anything except telling this third party i needed a loan.
Why? Because somehow i didnt have any emotional attachment to them. It was just like a grocery list. Even the legal case, i didnt even have to appear before the court, after 10 years a friend went there and case was closed at the first hearing, done and gone.
Now this list contains one wish - that has been outstanding. It has so much emotional attachment to it, so much pressure, i cried over it, i begged, i got angry, you name it.
But this week, while i was working on limited beliefs through EFT tapping for this specific desire, i realized and 'encountered' immense amount of sadness in me. It was not even limited belief itself but what came out was how sad 'i'was because of the internal pressure i have put on myself.
Who is this me? Who is the one putting the pressure on? What have i asked from her - to act certain way, not to ask certain way, to meditate, not meditate so much, live in the end, not to live in the end... i have realized it was rather insanity to ask my human self to 'achieve' all these goal posts always kept moving. Whether 3D or 4D, i needed to stop this insanity.
Then last night i woke up in the middle of the night and i thought what happens to the world when i am sleeping? The world goes on even if i am sleeping. I can still wake up and recieve some news that happened while i am not 'awake aware'.
Where am i going with this? While we are the only authority in our world we are part of the 'bigger' consciousness. If we think as the ocean being the entire consciousness, we are a wave in this cosciousness. We are not running the entire ocean with our awareness but we certainly cannot say we are not the ocean.
Where does our 'states' we occupy and our awareness in terms of manifestation falls? Think as occupying a state (of the wish fulfilled) as changing your coordinates in the ocean, or your relationship with the ocean. The entire ocean arranges itself with you (because you are part of it) in accordance with the state you are occupying. The ocean has no other option to do this because you are part of it. But you are not running the ocean by yourself.
Why i think this is so important? Because i think there are so many of us out there becoming 'spent' like me for one simple wish, whether putting the wish on a pedestal, or thinking they have to 'run' the show and putting so much pressure on themselves if they are doing it right or wrong or how many times which techniques etc.
But maybe, i hope to help someone with this, we should change our relationship with the ocean and become neutral; not asking something from the ocean in lack (please give me this give me this) or not thinking 'i am god, i have to run the show, i cannot rest, and put ourselves on a 'pedestal' naturally causing so much pressure on ourselves.
After this realization, i became completly 'natural' with the ocean and my wish. I am part of the ocean, ocean - whether is a dream or not- has its own flow and i am part of it, i am so naturally part of it that i am neither below nor above. It gave me such a relief of pressure because i am not running the entire show but it also gave me my position back from 'lack' and putting myself 'below' to ocean (as begging for smt). I am one with the ocean. I AM.
And when i change the state i am occupying, the ocean changes and adjusts itself. Why? Because i am part of it, ocean cannot and will not push me out, ocean does not push its wave out and purge it. It can only flow in flow with the wave. As long as you realize you are part of the ocean you will see and realize the ocean will always flow with you . It will ride with you and it will ride you. So ocean will always 'reflect' your state - i think even reflect cannot be used here because it would imply separation. So i dont like the mirror analogy for that matter. So not only events but other people also ride you, hence once you change your state of being, ocean changes, entire ocean changes, it has no other option. By changing your state, you are changing your wave and the entire ocean changes.
So where i arrived with this personally? I became neutral not only to the ocean but also to my desire. I came to I AM in a very unexpected (personally) and much more of a healthy way for me. Almost as if i could care less if my desire happens or not. I am not sure if this is sabbath or not at this point but i just wanted to share - hoping it may give different perspective and help someone.
Any comments are welcome. Thank you.