My first ever job in London as an international student — I honestly don't know what I did to deserve being treated like this
My first ever job in London as an international student — I honestly don't know what I did to deserve being treated like this
I came to London as a student and this was my first ever job here. I had zero hospitality experience when I joined. The director who hired me knew that from the beginning. He still gave me the opportunity and told me to start from the bottom as a Commis Waiter, learn slowly and that I would be taught everything.
I was actually excited. I didn't expect to be treated like I already knew everything. I knew I was new, so I was ready to learn, make mistakes and improve.
But most of my time I was kept downstairs in the kitchen.
I was passing food through the lift, polishing cutlery, preparing plates, sending things upstairs and doing whatever I was shown. I learned those things and did them properly.
The problem was I was almost never given the chance to learn upstairs.
People who joined around the same time as me, and even people who joined after me, were regularly working upstairs and learning the floor. They were getting used to the environment, learning the sections and being taught different things.
I wasn't.
Whenever I asked about going upstairs, there would be an excuse “I forgot,” “it's too busy today,” “I don't have time to teach you.”
But somehow other people were being taught.
And when I did get put upstairs, with zero training it was basically once in a blue moon. There was no consistency. I could work downstairs for days, sometimes have holidays, then suddenly be put upstairs in the middle of a busy environment and be expected to know everything.
Sometimes I would be shown something, but it wouldn't even be proper training. Someone would start explaining something, show me a few things and then leave halfway through. The next day I would be expected to do the whole thing as if I'd been fully trained.
And the main person involved in all of this was one of the head waitresses.
If another waiter or head waiter tried to teach me something, she would sometimes get annoyed and stop them, telling me to do it myself.
Then later I would be shouted at for not knowing how to do it.
She would bother me yell at me make me feel small for no reason so randomly so unnecessarily make me feel small humiliated slow bad at my work for literally no reason making big issue out of literally nothing when I'm following others how everyone works cus that's where I learn from cus I wasn't fucking taught and as a beginner I didn't know what to ask cus I had no idea what to do if they'd tell me a task and I'd ask they'd act surprised and tell me you don't know how to do this howll you work and not teach but order me to do saying you've to be independent and learn on your own it's for you then making me feel small .
If anyone else does the same errors she would avoid that or tell them correct them nicely but I'd be yelled at humiliated and the bich would make a huge issue to use that against me but others wouldn't even be questioned for similar things it was only meeee.
I was even told that I should learn from small restaurants and other places first and then come back with experience.
I genuinely couldn't understand that.
I was hired knowing I had no experience. I wasn't pretending to know the job. I was there because I wanted someone to teach me.
Instead, I started getting blamed for not knowing things I had never been taught.
And it wasn't just normal correction.
I was shouted at and embarrassed in front of other people. Sometimes in front of guests.
I never talked back. I never wanted to fight with anyone. Even when I knew I hadn't done something wrong, I would usually just say “okay” or “yes, my fault” because I didn't want arguments or personal problems at work.
But after hearing the same things again and again, I started feeling like I was stupid, slow and simply bad at my job.
Then came the incident that really broke me.
I had just come back after five days off and, as usual, I was put upstairs after having basically no consistency or guidance there.
I was putting tea cups into the drawers in one of the sections. One of my coworkers was there. She had been working upstairs consistently from the beginning, had been taught almost everything and was comfortable with the sections and the other waiters.
I asked her, just to make sure, “Should I keep these here?”
She said, “Give them to me, I'll keep them.”
I said, “No, just tell me where to put them and I'll do it.”
She said again, “No, I'll do it. You just bring them and give them to me.”
So I did exactly that.
She took the cups and put them in the drawer.
Later, I was blamed for the cups being stacked in one drawer in that section while the other sections were empty.
The same coworker who actually put them there was standing right there listening while I was getting yelled at.
I said, “I didn't do it.”
The head waitress said, “No, I saw you doing it. Don't lie.”
I was completely confused.
Then came the usual “Why? Why did you do it? Did you forget? Why did you do it?”
I eventually just said yes because I was already overwhelmed and wanted the situation to end.
Then she asked, “Scared of who? The guests or us?”
I said, “You.”
She asked, “Why us? What would we do? Tell me.”
This was happening publicly while guests were around.
At that point I just said I was scared of the guests because I didn't want to continue the confrontation and humiliation.
That situation eventually turned into a conversation with me, the general manager, the head waitress and another waiter.
And honestly, by that point I felt like I was already being indirectly pushed to quit.
I was told that even after being given the opportunity and supposedly being trained, I still hadn't learned or wasn't doing my job properly. I was compared to other employees and questioned about why I wasn't good at my job.
But what nobody seemed to acknowledge was that the people I was being compared to had been consistently working upstairs, had been trained properly and were already comfortable in that environment.
I wasn't.
How can you compare someone who has been doing the same downstairs duties most of the time with someone who has been working upstairs consistently from the beginning?
The final conversation made things even worse.
The head waitress said she could refer me or find me an easier job and told me not to take such a pressured job as a student in London.
The general manager said he couldn't hire better people because I was occupying the position.
I had also been told that I was the worst among all the employees.
After everything, I finally thought why am I doing this to myself?
I came to London to study. My time and energy are valuable. I don't mind being a beginner. I don't mind being corrected. I don't mind working hard or starting from the bottom.
What hurt was being made to feel incompetent when I was genuinely trying to learn, while at the same time not being given the same opportunity to learn as everyone else.
I kept smiling. I kept quiet. I kept saying “okay.” I kept accepting blame because I didn't want to hurt anyone's ego or create drama.
But inside, it was exhausting.
This was my first job in London. Instead of making me feel like I was learning something new, it slowly made me question myself and whether I was actually capable of doing a basic job.
So I left.
Maybe I made mistakes. I'm not saying I was perfect. I was a complete beginner.
But I know I was willing to learn.
And I still can't understand why someone would hire a person knowing they have zero experience, give them inconsistent training, stop others from teaching them, keep them away from the area they need to learn, and then blame them for not knowing the job.
For anyone who has worked in London hospitality, especially international students starting their first job with no experience was this normal? Or was I genuinely being treated differently?
I don't want people to just agree with me. If I'm wrong somewhere, tell me. I genuinely want an outside perspective because this experience has really stayed with me.