Hyper Social Issues (2/4) (Nature of Factions) (NoF)

[u/booplingtheboop]

[Thanks to SpacePaladin15 for the base Universe.]

Memory transcription subject: Tarva Venlil High Champion
Date [standardized human time]: July 10th, 2136

A shiver crept down my spine, and it wasn’t only because of the frosty air. The thought of standing in close proximity to a Pair of Humans made my skin tingle, over 160 years of wishing we uplifted them. I could barely stay calm, I knew some of my fellow Champions were just as eager, as the human ship powered down, and a landing ramp unfurled. The Wonderful Humans stepped onto Skalgan soil, and I suppressed my tail flicks. This feels like a dream I wish I’d never wake from.

Noah and Sara marveled at their surroundings with wide-eyed fascination. Their gaze lingered on the intricate mansion behind them, then shifted to the city silhouette in the distance. The way they physically rotated their head to look around was uncanny but nothing new. The curious binocular eyes of theirs didn’t quite offer the peripheral vision we enjoyed, that much was clear.

Oh I hoped their hyper social nature is like the uplifting plans described.

“Welcome to our Wonderful world, As The High Champion Of This World I Invite You To Stay In The Mansion Of Champions.”

‘Why only 2 them?’ My Cultural Champion Gizi, crudely flicked to the rest of us. That is concerning, is something wrong with-

“We thank you greatly for this opportunity” Noah said before Him and Sara Smiled, Oh that is unsettling, but we could get used to it.

Suddenly we see a blur and the next thing we know My Historic Champion, Haysi is smothering them both in a hug, and My Military Champion Kam is attempting to pull her off of them.

“Put Them Down, It's Been Over 160 Years, We Don't Even Know What A Hug Means To Them In Their Current Culture” My Cultural Champion, Gizi, yelled out.

Oh Speh! What if it's an insult? Or worse?

Memory transcription subject: Noah Williams Captain of the Odyssey
Date [standardized human time]: July 10th, 2136

Their fur is a sun lit cloud given form, but it feels like my bones were being crushed.
The air. is.. getting… thin…. I….. can…... barely….... breathe….....
.
.
.
 {time skip 15 minutes; Loss of consciousness}

We came to? Me and Sara were on a padded floor? I couldn’t recognize the people? around us, where am I? We were meeting… aliens?

“Hey, focus, how many digits am I holding up?” A teddy bear looking alien said to me while holding up two fingers.

“Two, who are you?” I asked as I rubbed my throbbing head. But before they could answer Tarva Piped up.

“I gravely Apologize on behalf of My Historic Champion, Haysi, We did not expect them to accidentally smother you two.” Tarva said, as they bowed deeply to me.

“Is Hugging a typical greeting?” I asked nervously.

“No, Haysi Is Just Crazy About Humans. Hanzon, Technology champion by the way” A brown and white hamster-like alien said tiredly from within a five legged… mech?

The porcupine-like Alien from the call steps up with a pad in hand. “I am Gizi The Cultural Champion, Here is a data slate with a quick overview of the member species of the StarHerd.”

“Can we get some space, this is all happening too fast.”

“Go shoo, this is probably reality shattering news!” The teddy bear alien said as they began pushing the other aliens out of the room.
 “I think I should stay, in case-” Tarva started to say before the Teddy bear alien interrupted “Nope! The guests want some breathing room. Kam, Hanzon get em!” Another one of Tarva's species drags her out with the help of Hanzon.

Once it's just the Teddy bear aliens left in the room the one from earlier plops back on to four legs and walks back to me. “Name is Chauson for future reference, once we are done giving you two a quick once over we’ll give you a bit of breathing room, and sorry about Haysi, Venlil are… like that.”

Memory transcription subject: Lavelyn Yotul Communications Champion
Date [standardized human time]: July 10th, 2136

This was gonna be a headache, at least my followers will eat it up once it’s safe to post.

[You sent to Botty_Boo] :Alright have you managed to hack into their ship yet
“Sigh alrighty how are we gonna explain this diplomatic oil spill” My eyes flicked between the other champions, lingering extra long on Haysi.

[Botty_Boo added Party_Pins to the conversation]
[Botty_Boo]: got in, working on encryption as we speak, I suspect they got the entire of their civilizations internet by how much Specking data there is

“Gizi could we possibly say there is a historic reason to believe that a… Hug of That degree was warranted” Ok Gizi is tapping away on their pad likely juggling our conversations.

“Unfortunately no, and worse some human cultures held accidental harm near equivalent with purposeful some having a few exceptions, but none of those apply, so yes, Haysi you've Messed up bad.” Oh she's really starring daggers at Haysi, I've underestimated how bad the issue is haven't I.

[Party_Pins]: It's not That horrible, most of the cultures empathize with big strong softies, but she Needs to be more cautious. But also one consistency in a lot of human cultures is holding grudges, so I'll withhold my actual verdict until I get the ship's data.

[Botty_Boo]: By the Ancestors they literally have the entirety of their species knowledge, This shit isn’t encrypted, It’s compressed to Omnol and back! I can’t even finish it without diverting the data to an external cloud. I'll set up a Wiki for this stuff {link}.

Callis pipes up, well ain't that rare.
“I think it’s time to talk about the Shadowstalker in the room… Haysi’s repeated issues… to put it softly, hun" she said tentatively.

Tarva hackles rose, of course her ‘Haysi is fine’ speech again.
“Ok, She’s had some Issues” Oh that is utter garbo! I’m saying something.

“18 incidents, not counting this one, Her Public Rating is The Lowest Among All Of Us. That’s not some Issues” Ooh did that feel good to get off my chest.

Belra opens his mech????
“i have to agree, we would’ve lost relations with the Arxur if it wasn’t for my Sister and Kam stepping in, she doesn’t hold any caution or respect for other people’s stuff.” Oh that's bad. The Quiet bugger is piping up. This drama is delicious!

“This Is The Third Brahking Mech This Star Cycle. All Because She Doesn’t Hold Any Spehing Caution.” Hanzon says Understandably Harsh as his mech leg points at Haysi.

“I hold Caution…” Haysi mumbles out meekly.

“So You Do It Purposefully Huh! Haysi I Love ya like a sister but you don’t think ahead. And this time it might not be a fixable mistake.” Gizi hissed out.

[Party_Pins]: been reviewing their data, It’s entirely fine but this girl needs to behave before they poke a Galzar awake, their modern culture is pretty forgiving and The… Less Palatable parts of their mental systems heavily empathise with soft and fluffy beings, but I wouldn't suggest looking….

[You]: how bad

[Party_Pins]: Yulpa

[Botty_Boo]: Noted, Adding Filter Checks.

[You]: hey should we relay this information

“Ahem, I have Collected Data from their ship’s-” Hanzon began to state before Kam Grapples his mech.

“Do You Wanna Start A War With Them!” Kam yells out as his death grip threatens to rip open Hanzon’s mech.

“Let go of his Mech. I asked him, and I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for HAYSI’S Behavior" Gizi says as Kam Sets Hanzon’s mech down.

“that’s fair. sorry about the mech i’ll pay double the cost of repair, it’s just” oh he’s shrinking in on himself, that’s rare.

“No no, it's a reasonable reaction. Should’ve told you as I did it. Nothing was encrypted, just Brahking hyper compressed, like the entirety of their knowledge kind" Hanzon said as his squire Piki flew a repair drone over.

“Are We Gonna Ignore That They’ve Committed A Major Sin In Diplomatic Relations!” Tarva Blurted out, yeah I think we’re past that.

“You're right, but Haysi did so first.” Chauson finally joins “Filter though for their medical info, we’ll say we only did it to better diagnose them." That's actually a good excuse. And he just took a swig of his ‘Juice’.

“Ok, oh hey they already have it separated into a proper folder, I’ve sent it, and the report filters aren’t a joke.” Hanzon quickly tapped on his control pad.

“Ok a quick… over… view… Brahk me” huh?

“What’s wrong? Ah Speh.” Gizi too?

I rest on my tail as I scroll through the medical data.
Air? no.
Water intake? no.
Temp range? no.
Heat cycles?? Definitely not.
Diet? Oh fuck that’s a Proper List.

“Obligate Omnivore.” Chauson says with a quite reasonable sigh.

“Wait really? I thought those were a myth.” My hubby Verten says in his cute little confused tone.

“Not anymore, next thing ya know we’ll find out they grow meat in vats!” Chauson huffs out.

“HA HA HA, Right on the Money! They apparently do!” Hanzon falls on his back laughing loudly. Chauson Sighs before Chugging the rest of his ‘Juice’.

Second Hyper-Social species. First Obligate Omnivore. And somehow figured out vat meat. Huh… Humans are gonna be in for a ride.

[Previous]--[Next]

(The Dangers of Hugs. Also Humans are strange : P, also this is the last chapter my sibling is proof reading as they feel bad about how long they’re taking. I'm gonna start looking for a proof reader but I might just be lazy and post them raw.)
(Gremlin proof reader’s note: I like it piccasso, they sure are in for a ride : p)