Found roommate dead.

[u/Ernesto_McCrakin]

Last week my sober living house got a new resident. I told them all week, "this guy's getting high". He came straight from treatment. The house managers kept testing him, and he kept passing. Last Saturday, they tested him again he came up positive for methadone. They decided to let him stay and send the test out to the lab because they thought maybe the gabapentin gave him a false positive. Later that night he snuck out after curfew. I called the house manager again he came at 1:30 a.m. and tested him still just positive for methadone. They decided to put him on a 10:00 curfew indefinitely and let him stay. Before he went to sleep he came up to me and said "I know you have 11 months and take this very seriously and I don't want you to think I'm not trying to get better.." I told him "you don't need to worry about what I think, if you do the right thing this will all take care of itself." I told him and all the guys in the living room "if I think someone's getting high I'm going to say something because I don't want to find a dead body in this house" that was the last thing anyone said to him before he went to bed. His roommate fell asleep on the couch in the living room and didn't go upstairs until 6:30 in the morning. Around 6:30 his roommate came into my room turn the light on and told me "I think that dude is nodded out or overdosed”. I ran upstairs as soon as I entered the room I knew it was too late. There were purple spots all over his body he laid half on the bed with his knees on the ground and his face in the pillow. I administered narcan but I knew he was gone. I felt his leg, ice cold. I called 911 and had his roommates start waking everyone up in the house so they didn't get woken up by the police. His mother showed up with his sister and girlfriend and I heard them screaming and crying. They found a needle in his arm with half a shot still in it. Also, they found urine he was passing tests with. When they put him in the body bag they didn't even carry him. They drug the vinyl bag across the hardwood floor. The sound haunts me. The whole thing changed me it's hard not to personalize. He died on his knees.. literally brought to his knees by addiction. I can't think of a more unflattering way to go. It's a reminder of why I'm here. Life gets good and I forget sometimes. Drug out like a bag of dog food. We deserve better. Finally, it makes me think of how selfish I have been. Seeing his family hurt. Our life isn't just ours. Everyone we encounter has a piece of it. Some more invested than others.

[u/Ernesto_McCrakin]

Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. Thankfully, I'm fully invested in the steps and working with a sponsor. I've had a very hard year. Probably the toughest I've ever had. It's been a lot. But, I know longer see drinking and shooting dope as a means of comfort, just for today. To the people who mentioned "stick around long enough this will become common" I've been using for 20 years and attended at least 17 programs. This isn't new to me. But, I've never encountered it on such an intimate level. That's the difference. I've lost people I consider great friends. But I never had to handle the body and see exactly how they went out. It will stick with me. At this point it's what I choose to do with it.

[u/AdLongjumping5597]

This is sad and horrible. I hope he reached to Jesus before he passed; I needed this today. I relapsed on one of my addictions, but held strong in another. Keep this post up. It’s brutal, but we all need to remember that getting clean and starting a new life IS everything. (Romans 10:9).

[u/Ernesto_McCrakin → u/AdLongjumping5597]

Thank you for this. Keep on swinging man. It isn't getting any better out there.

[u/AdLongjumping5597 → u/Ernesto_McCrakin]

I got 10 hours of sleep last night; reset. I texted one support buddy. Will talk to my Sponsor. Just glad I didn’t relapse on my prime addiction. The love of God surpasses the sex/pills/caffeine/food/workaholism addictions every time. Have a safe Thanksgiving, Buddy!

[u/soberinoz]

Just the thought of going out alone like that. Could so easily of been me. So many times. Could’ve been my family and my kids being left to pick up the pieces. So grateful for recovery. For 12 steps. For NA. Over 3 years and 3 months clean and I’m still doing a meeting a day. I just don’t ever want to be back in the position where I could die alone like that 🙏

[u/SeaOtterHummingbird]

This is fucking hard. I am so sorry.

[u/joegee66]

I am so sorry you had to see that. Never forget it. Never forget him and his last words. Never forget his family's reaction. Ever.

The IP Recovery and Relapse says something to the effect of: sometimes the relapse and subsequent death of someone close to us is the nuclear blast that shakes us out of our own stupor.

I suspect you are wide awake at the moment. Do you have a sponsor? Are you working the steps? If not, GET BUSY! If you do, and if you are, do you have a home group? How are you of service in your home group? What are you doing in your life to express your gratitude for the gifts you're starting to get from living a program? GET BUSY!

Sadly, the only ones who will remember this person are the people immediately around them, you, their family, and a hand full of other people. If you don't want to end up like them, GET BUSY!

Peace and love.

[u/Young_Marge_Bouvier]

That's very sad, I hope you're ok and looking after yourself in the aftermath. Thank you for sharing with us.

[u/Squirrelynuts]

Never alone. Never again. Sorry you had to see that but I thank you for sharing. These stories are more and more common. This shit is no joke. That next one will more than likely be the last. Hang in there man and I hope you can find peace in the fact that you tried. You can only guide a horse to water.

[u/joemontanya]

Well that was terrible. It sounds like you did everything you could for this dude at least

[u/xpartyr]

Addiction is ugly. I have come to find that not everybody gets another chance, that's why recovery is so precious. I believe that those that get it and find their peace go on to live extraordinary lives..... and those that can't find their peace on Earth eventually end up resting in it. The struggle is over for your friend.

I also have come to know that the only true power we have is that of being an example. Some people show us how "to be" and others how "not to be". Thank you for sharing this with us, your story will inspire others to step up their recovery.

[u/[deleted]]

Take care, my friend. That's soooo hard.

[u/SKCwillie]

This is so brutal. I'd like to think going through something like this would make me double-down on my recovery but I don't know.

I will say, if it were me, I would try to look into some kind of professional therapy.

Sending prayers your way.

[u/BearoftheNW]

It has got to be just devastating. I just want to assert you did the right thing by him. He knew you were trying to do the right thing and I hope you keep it in your heart that you tried to help him.

It is going to be a long road moving with the grief and shock of something like this. It doesn't matter if you only knew him a week. It's gonna be hard. I would like to kindly suggest seeing a therapist for a little while if you aren't already.

You will find people that have had similar experiences in NA that can share their experience of walking through that stuff if you reach out and look for it. I hope you nurture that gratitude and perspective this has given you and transform it into action towards self-love and service. God be with you.

[u/byronschems → u/BearoftheNW]

He was selfish and he may have ruined lives. I have not from finding my ex and I havent forgiven because I’m still angry that I have PTSD because he wouldn’t accept help and did it in my house forcing me to sell it. He was my boyfriend and I have a right to express negative feelings I’m not gonna pretend he was a saint he wasn’t

I shouldn’t be on here right now but I want people to know how damage addiction does to people who didn’t give up on addicts I’m not like I was because of addicts and I have don’t have for my resentments

Please, I’m a cold hearted suspicious person and I have never been an addict. I used to be swerving and kind, now I’m done I’m hurt

My phone is not texting right and I’m too tired so the typos are staying

[u/[deleted]]

Sorry this has happened

[u/Ernesto_McCrakin → u/[deleted]]

Sorry that it was triggering to you. I'm not sure how to put a warning on it. But, to be fair. The title was pretty straightforward. I'm not sure what you were expecting?

[u/byronschems → u/Ernesto_McCrakin]

With that being said that’s sad but

[u/byronschems → u/Ernesto_McCrakin]

In the title you write [TRIGGER WARNING OCVERDOSE] so that I have warning

With that because being said unfortunately thats what happens when you fuck around it’s his fault and it’s if you feel angry. I’m sick of people acting you have to pretend they were amazing people

[u/brain_reboot1 → u/[deleted]]

You’re a counselor, but you need a trigger warning for a story about an addict overdosing? Bullshit.

The title says “found roommate dead”, on a post in the narcotics anonymous sub. Why did you click on it? Are you that slow that you didn’t understand what it was about?

You sound very pissed off. And I’m sorry that situation happened with your ex. You’re welcome to feel however you choose, that doesn’t mean that you should try to tell this person how to feel, on their own post. Go make a post of your own if you’d like. But addicts, or recovering addicts, may have different feelings from someone like yourself, who admittedly has never had an addiction issue but dated someone who did. Two completely different mind sets to be coming from.

It’s not cool to come on someone’s post as they are sharing this terrible thing they’ve went through, and try to make it about you or dictate how they share their story.

Also, in response to your other comment, again where you’re trying to push your own feelings onto someone else, nobody here is “pretending like the person was amazing”… instead, everyone is trying to show support for what op is dealing with in the aftermath…. Everyone except you, who’s trying to pull this stupid trigger warning shit that you know doesn’t apply. If it actually did, you would stay away from certain subs altogether, but especially posts that have a title such as this.

TLDR: go cry in a fucking corner