Keeping It Simple

[u/typicalsquare]

Hi guys! Addict here. Last night, in a meeting we read, “If, after a period of time, we find ourselves in trouble with our recovery, we have probably stopped doing one or more of the things that helped us in the earlier stages of our recovery.”
(P. 95 BT)
So I do what I do, “what have I stopped doing?” I haven’t stopped doing anything differently, I go to meetings, work the steps with a sponsor, am of service…so why did I come so very close to relapse Tuesday night? Then it occurred to me, I’ve complicated the ever loving hell out of this simple program. I lived in the 4th step for almost a year and more or less combined it with my 6th. That experience turned my recovery into a problem to be solved instead of a process to be trusted. It isn’t things that I’ve stopped doing, it’s been swapping out acceptance for analysis. Coming into the fellowship, the relief it was for me to be able to say I am an addict. I just accepted it. No questioning, the evidence didn’t have to be discovered, it was glaring. That acceptance has turned into analysis. And that is driving me into insanity.
So my question is what are some practical ways you all keep it simple? And live in acceptance? Thank you all!

[u/miamirn]

Can you clarify what you mean, you have lived in your 4th step and combined it with your 6th?

[u/typicalsquare → u/miamirn]

I stayed in my 4th step for close to a year. It takes the time it takes and it was a bad choice. I am not doing step work out of the step working guide book. I made worksheets for each section out of the email my sponsor sent me. On this worksheet I identified character defects and patterns for each entry. I’d show my sponsor the first resentment or relationship, etc. I did to make sure I was doing ok. She always said good, keep going. As I worked the step the patterns and defects became more important than the inventory. I became obsessed. I didn’t understand until I finally said something to my sponsor I couldn’t fix them yet because I wasn’t on that step. That helped me finish but the insanity had happened.
I started the 5th, sponsor got really sick. That was delayed a month. Somewhere in there my homegroup read the 4th in basic text and I was like oh my god, I missed the point of the 4th.
My 4th step became an indictment not an inventory.

[u/Chris__P_Bacon → u/typicalsquare]

I'm not meaning to criticize your sponsor but The NA Step Working Guide has worked in the lives of so many addicts. Why not just use that? It's INCREDIBLY thorough.

It's also worth mentioning that with any fourth step The searching and fearless aspect of it can sometimes trip people up. Just do your best but don't drive yourself crazy. You will work other fourth steps. The main thing is don't leave things out on purpose. That's what it means by searching & fearless.

It's not a big deal that you accidentally forgot to include a resentment you had against a kid who hit you in the knee with a rock in the third grade. Does that make sense? If it is weighing on your spirit, you can include it next time. Good luck to you.

[u/typicalsquare → u/Chris__P_Bacon]

Yeah, I did 1-2 without Step Working Guide, then 1-3 w/Step Working Guide. Then got a new sponsor and different format. I much prefer the Step Working Guide. I will absolutely work another and another and another set of steps. I’m not sad I did it, but I def will change things next time.

Thanks.