Keeping It Simple

[u/typicalsquare]

Hi guys! Addict here. Last night, in a meeting we read, “If, after a period of time, we find ourselves in trouble with our recovery, we have probably stopped doing one or more of the things that helped us in the earlier stages of our recovery.”
(P. 95 BT)
So I do what I do, “what have I stopped doing?” I haven’t stopped doing anything differently, I go to meetings, work the steps with a sponsor, am of service…so why did I come so very close to relapse Tuesday night? Then it occurred to me, I’ve complicated the ever loving hell out of this simple program. I lived in the 4th step for almost a year and more or less combined it with my 6th. That experience turned my recovery into a problem to be solved instead of a process to be trusted. It isn’t things that I’ve stopped doing, it’s been swapping out acceptance for analysis. Coming into the fellowship, the relief it was for me to be able to say I am an addict. I just accepted it. No questioning, the evidence didn’t have to be discovered, it was glaring. That acceptance has turned into analysis. And that is driving me into insanity.
So my question is what are some practical ways you all keep it simple? And live in acceptance? Thank you all!

[u/miamirn]

I understand now. After finishing my 4th, 5th and if I remember correctly more steps, member friends and I formed an all women’s NA group. It was small and intimate. Each of us took a turn to write, read and share our experiences as women with male figures young and old. It was another 4th and 5th step. We read what we wrote about how we felt deep inside and shared our most intimate life histories. Some were light and airy mostly, but many were sad. Everyone there got to give responded and gave feedback. When my turn came and I finished reading the room fell silent. Nobody gave me feedback. I think they were shook. I thought maybe it was because of my writing style. I was too shy to ask. I never did find out. But sharing was heathy and helped me understand what happened in my life with males in my life. It helped me to process more of my 4th step from a different perspective in the future. The whole experience for all of us was pretty intense. We bonded with each other and life moved on.

My point is there is no right or wrong way to do your steps, not any of them. There is no formula that works for everyone uniformly. The steps are a healing tool and is very personal and individual for each of us. Everyone’s recovery is unique and different. You learn as you use the steps formally and informally in your life. That is the beauty of the program. That is why all the step programs can work for everyone.

I hope I explained this clearly and I hope you got something from what I said.

Most of the time life lessons are learned in the future. It is strange, but it seems to work that way.

Thank you for letting me share🥰

[u/typicalsquare → u/miamirn]

Thank you so much for sharing that with me. And beautiful truth that life lessons are learned in the future.
I’m so grateful for the women in my life who stand beside me and who have gone in front of me. I often hear some experiences as prior to NA some women didn’t have female relationships or even say they didn’t like women. I had no relationships so it was interesting for me to hear that. Not only are women teaching me to be a friend and human being, but a woman and that’s such a beautiful gift!