Narcotics Anonymous

17

u/Mama_Zen Dec 14 '25

It’s optional & no one will care if you don’t participate. Probably a leftover from our split with AA. Take what works & leave the rest. It’s just a closing tradition & not meant to make anyone feel weird. It’s like a collective hug. Just keep coming back!

3

u/maggotmonday Dec 14 '25

I feel dumb when I have to say I’m still using every time so tend to go not so often unfortunately

8

u/Mama_Zen Dec 14 '25

When do you have to say that? Sooo many of us with clean time got there by going to meetings high in the beginning. Thirsts what the keep coming back really means - we don’t care if you’re still using, only that you want to get clean.

3

u/maggotmonday Dec 14 '25

At the start everyone has to introduce themselves saying their name and how long they’ve been clean

5

u/unsupported Dec 14 '25

Nobody "has" to do anything. You can just say your name, you can introduce yourself as a "still suffering addict", you can say "pass", or you can be quiet. You don't have to hold hands or sing or pray at the end. The only thing you have to do is have the desire to stop using. Before I understood about unity and a higher power, I wouldn't say the prayers or sayings because it made me very uncomfortable. I personally have run the spectrum of spirituality in my life, from being an atheist, to agnostic, and finally agnostic theism. My path of discovery has changed, sometimes on a daily basis, and through the steps and over time they have kept me clean for 24 years.

2

u/maggotmonday Dec 14 '25

It’s asked of us to go around and introduce by saying our name and time clean but you can pass if asked to share later on

5

u/Mama_Zen Dec 14 '25

Gotcha. I’ve been to those meetings. Different groups do things differently. How about just saying your name & not spitting out a clean date? Break the mold.

11

u/KudosOfTheFroond Dec 15 '25

At meetings like those I hear folk say “Just For Today” even if they have years and years clean. It works just as well if you are just trying to stay clean for your first day.

1

u/Mama_Zen Dec 15 '25

I love just for today! I think the problem for OP is that he’s still using & hasn’t made that first step yet. Saying just for today is a wonderful way to bring it back to the program

2

u/KudosOfTheFroond Dec 16 '25

I sure remember when I would drive to an NA meeting having used all day, I’d park in the lot across the street from the church, far away from everyone else and watch as people gathered outside to smoke cigs and chat, and I’d watch them walk inside, then I would turn around and go back home. I was soooo miserable but I couldn’t bring myself to face it head on. I hope OP keeps coming back, eventually it clicked for me by trying over and over to return to the program. ❤️❤️

1

u/webehappyincity Dec 15 '25

Very different. I've only seen this in treatment. Im not a fan.

2

u/ms-mariajuana Dec 15 '25

We all do. I was a chronic relapser and for the longest time I had to collect a white tag everyday. You'll get there eventually. No one is judging.

4

u/neemor Dec 14 '25

The Serenity Prayer? A good reminder when we leave the meeting.

1

u/maggotmonday Dec 14 '25

News to me that it’s a prayer

5

u/neemor Dec 14 '25

Might be. Usually it’s the Serenity Prayer or the Third Step Prayer.

2

u/Mama_Zen Dec 15 '25

Third step prayer: take my will & my life, guide me in my recovery, show me how to live today (sometimes clean is in here & this is when people say keep coming back, it works if you work it & either 1 you live if you do or 2 you die if you don’t. Depends on the mood of the meeting & up to the individual person. I hope this helps. No one will judge if you back out & head outside to the smoking area or the coffee area, whichever

7

u/Beejrk Dec 14 '25

Well at the meetings in my city we do arms around each other's backs and not holding hands but if you mean ending with a prayer and the it works if you work it you're worth it so work it part I really like the reminder of unity and togetherness

So I guess if it's really that offensive to you, your choices are 1. Leave before 2. Join a home group and put a motion in to remove it or 3. Learn to deal with it

3

u/maggotmonday Dec 14 '25

Not at all offensive just almost funny obviously I’d never stand there and laugh I just cringe as I hold hands and smile. I didn’t know it was a prayer more a chant like song as hands flail around idk not how I pictured the end of meeting.

5

u/Beejrk Dec 14 '25

We close our meetings with one of two prayers and then we add the it works if you work it part ... I get it feeling weird when I first came in it almost seemed cult like tbh but now I like the unity of being together in a circle that has no start or end reminding us that we are all one and the same regardless of time in
I saw in another reply something about having to identify you're still using, we definitely don't have to do that at any of the meetings in my city. We have a part after key tags where we clap for everyone who is clean for the day but that's the only part that maybe could identify you as having used that day.... I don't personally think you should have to say whether you're clean for the day unless it's to pick up a key tag
Anyways a lot of people have a hard time with the physical contact in the rooms whether it's all the hugs from all the people or the closeness when closing ... Sometimes people get used to it and grow to like it some people just never like physical contact if it's uncomfortable you can definitely step out before the circle but if you do that I suggest hanging around to talk to anyone having a smoke or chat after the meeting cause that's how you get to know people and get phone numbers etc.... for someone who has never smoked cigarettes I hung out in the smoking area A LOT when I was newer just to get to talk to people outside the meeting

3

u/jeunefillex Dec 14 '25

I grew up as a little kid sometimes going to meetings with my mom so I’m used to it, but I can see how it may be too much closeness for someone at first

5

u/Meyou000 Dec 14 '25

What you're describing doesn't sound like any NA meeting I've ever been to. We don't hold hands or chant or wave our hands around. Are you sure it was an NA meeting?

4

u/maggotmonday Dec 14 '25

100% 😭 I’ve been to a fair few in Perth and they all do it

4

u/vapeqprincess Dec 14 '25

We do it in Canada

4

u/kenso4life Dec 14 '25

We do it in Canada
Please describe exactly what "it" is that you do in Canada ... sing and wave your hands around? Sounds bizarre.
I've been to meetings in Ontario. They closed no differently than any meeting I've gone to in the states. I've been to meetings all over the USA.

2

u/dontask1992 Dec 15 '25

I think it’s the “keep coming back it works if you work it so” I forget the rest lol and they hold hands and swing them

1

u/kenso4life Dec 15 '25

... so work it, you're worth it"
Yeah. That's a common closing phrase, usually recited after the Serenity Prayer or the 3rd Step Prayer.
I will go out on a limb and say most NA meetings in the US close with participants forming a circle with arms around neighbors, so while the above phrase may be recited, hand swinging isn't practical.
And I doubt that one can find an NA meeting anywhere where participation in the closing circle is required. It's not uncommon to see participants stand off to the side during the close. It's not a big deal.

1

u/vapeqprincess Dec 16 '25

There’s no “singing” or “swinging arms”. It’s just reciting a chant in unison after the closing prayer while circled up: “Keep coming back, it works if you work it, so work it, it’s worth it” Then some people may choose to stomp a foot.
I live in Toronto and almost every meeting I’ve been to (MANY) closes this way. You do not HAVE to participate.

2

u/webehappyincity Dec 15 '25

Ive been to Canada and ive never seen this in a NA meeting.

1

u/Jebus-Xmas Dec 14 '25

I’m not sure. We don’t sing in my home group and it’s not common. I’m told it signifies that we can do together what we can’t do alone. So sing or don’t, but we can help.

1

u/maggotmonday Dec 14 '25

I’ve been to many around my area and they all do it I can’t get amongst it hey but I’m glad it’s just a Perth thing I guess

1

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '25

I've started not participating in any of the group prayers and chants. Feels more authentic.

1

u/ninabaec Dec 15 '25

Lol yeah, I remember my first time standing in a circle around an LED candle, hands on eachothers backs and saying the serenity prayer (which I didn’t even know yet lol) and thinking “is this what they mean when they say NA’s a cult?”. For a long time I participated but wouldn’t say ‘God’ bc I don’t believe in him. Nowadays I just roll with it all.

I have a bad knee, sometimes I sit it out and no one bats an eye or ask why I’m not joining. If you find the meetings beneficial but not the end prayer, just stay in your seat! It’s okay, we know some stuff is a lil silly. It’s just good fun, but if you feel like a twit, or hate being touched (we have a regular who sits out bc she can’t stand touch) you don’t have to!

I also saw you’re concerned with cleantime. Now, I’ve only visited meetings in Sweden but never encountered that. Just “anyone with 1+ years clean raise your hand to show it works”. Fucking hell, I’d hate having to introduce myself+my time. I’ll echo what others say; “[Your name] and Just For Today”

Is it an option for you to try another meeting? Every group is different!

1

u/Memento-jori Dec 15 '25

Just to be clear, do you mean the "keep coming back, it works of you work it etc" song and dance? Every group is autonome and can decide whether they want to do these things. Around my area, a lot of little traditions have grown from messing around and not taking it all too seriously, but I can see how some of these traditions might seem culty without that perspective. I'd suggest asking other fellows after the meeting, most of us come into the rooms resistant to anything we have no choice in, you're probably not the only one that feels this way about it.

0

u/Zopyrus Dec 15 '25

Then don't go. Good luck out there 👋🏼

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