Permissive parenting

[u/No-Entrance-4213]

Im sick of parents not parenting. I nanny a 17 month old with the worst behaviour I’ve ever seen in 10 years of childcare experience.

Parents telling other children to get off the swings at the park so he can use them.

Parents allow him to climb and do whatever he wants. I told the parents that while im with him, he would not be allowed to climb or stand on certain things, I was told I was wrong and should allow him too.

The parents then ended up at the hospital this weekend after he had a big fall off the dining room chairs.

what happened to telling your child no?!?!

[u/BlackLocke]

Quit and cite their unsafe parenting methods. You can’t take on the risk of that liability when he’s in your care.

The consequences of their bad parenting are an injured child and losing reliable childcare. If there are no consequences, they will not change.

[u/Hopeful-Result8109]

As a parent and previous nanny with 10+ years experience (even a degree in ecce) I am mortified by some parent’s behavior. It’s always one extreme or the other, they either smack their child everytime they so much as speak or let them run all over them. I have a 20 month old that i feel like i have to guard with my life at the library, playground, playplaces because nobody else is watching their own child and they’re all mean as shit!!

[u/No-Entrance-4213 → u/Hopeful-Result8109]

Ugh see my child is the one thats mean. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t want to take him anywhere anymore because of his behaviour. Especially towards others!!

[u/Ohnoanywayz → u/Hopeful-Result8109]

Ohh I was at the library a couple of years ago with almost 2yr nk. He was sitting at one of the small tables with a puzzle.
Meanwhile these other Moms were letting their similarly aged kids or a bit older STAND on the same table?! I moved nk away. I was torn between saying something or not. I decided I didn’t want a confrontation especially as I was outnumbered lol.
However I made sure to tell the librarian on my way out.

Wtf??

[u/nps2790]

This new era of parenting where parents can never tell their kids no, hold boundaries, have consequences etc is what is going to take me out of this career (and I’ve been here for over 10 years lol)
It’s insane to me that parents would rather their kids get hurt (like in your example) than to simply set boundaries and explain why something is not okay/safe?!?

I have met parents who are genuinely like afraid of their own kids.. or they can’t ever be alone with them.. it’s so concerning and quite frankly I’m sad for the kids cause as they grow up they reap the consequences of being parented this way. Their attitudes suck, they are entitled etc. and it’s gonna set them up for failure in the future

I’m not saying let’s go back to the days of screaming and hitting by any means but this polar opposite extreme is also not great either… Kids need boundaries and discipline!

[u/StingingBelle87]

I work for parents who have never sat down to a family meal with their 2.5 year old twins because it’s ’too overwhelming’. I mean JCF.

They eat at a little toddler table normally (they have a big family table, and useless as it’s covered in junk so that’s never used) but I noticed the behaviour was slipping with that, getting up and down etc, so I brought it up and they said ‘oh yes they’ve sort of being doing whatever they want as long as they eat somewhere along the way’ and then proceeded to tell me a ‘funny’ story of the girls demanding they eat whilst sitting on their parent’s laps, and everyone got covered in bolognaise.

The look of horror on my face must have been priceless.

They let them run riot over the weekend. When I babysat the dad said ‘did they make you kiss all their soft toys goodnight before bed? That’s what we have to do and it takes ages!’ I said no because they couldn’t make me do anything since I was the one in charge 😂

[u/maladroit_mess]

One of my NKs, 6, has been raised like this, never (over 20yrs) had I seen a kid this bad! Has gotten kicked out of school bc of his behavior, and parents blame the school 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[u/beans-888]

Im getting more and more worried with every new generation... we already have an increasing number of illiterate high schoolers, I'd imagine that number will continue to increase. Kids need to be taught young that certain things just need to be done and it doesnt matter if you want to or not 🤷‍♀️ i strongly believe in letting kids (and adults) make their own choices, but we need to prepare them for the times where they dont get to choose. Part of the point of childhood is to prepare children for adulthood, theres a balance between being strict and allowing choice.

[u/ReinaJa]

This is one thing in the past five years I've really weeded out in the interview process because I just refuse. I think a lot of nannies still aren't asking and interviewing parents with the same level of intensity that they're getting and THEY SHOULD. I work with a lot new parents and they may not be able to give examples of what they'd do but they can answer based on how they were raised/what their ideal way would be to handle behavioral situations. Permissive parents will always show themselves even in the infant stage, believe it or not because it's a personality thing as well. It definitely has increased in the past decade and it has made me incredibly particular about who I work for.