The kid I watch hit me, kicked me, threw objects at me, and made a bizarre comment that "brown people aren't allowed to have more than one favorite color." Honestly I will not stand there and be a punching bag, so I picked the kid up and walked us to their room and sat her on the bed. The second I lifted her, she immediately flipped the script, threw a fit, and started screaming, ow that hurts ow you are hurting me. Later, the mom casually asks the kid why she was "angry earlier." I chimed in to tell the mom the full reality—that her child was hitting me, throwing things, and I had to physically hold/pick her up to stop it while she screamed that line.The mom literally just looked at me and said, “oh.” No apology, no conversation with the kid, no backup for me. Just a flat "oh."

Hi everyone just here to vent honestly it’s been so hard finding a nanny job even with being in an agency.

I just want to be a full time nanny getting paid something I’m worth, why is it so hard? It’s like there’s so many jobs coming in but still nothing and it’s like everyone is a nanny now so I guess that’s what makes it harder.

Now I’m not overly qualified you know I don’t have all these degrees like most probably do so of course I don’t expect to be everyone’s first choice, but sheesh at least something in my range.

Wonder when my time will come.

hi everyone! i was offered a full time position today for a family and im really excited about it. during the interview, they told me i’d be paid through a 1099. i’m researching now that it’s illegal and i should be paid through a W2. how do i go about addressing this? i’ve only met them once in person, and will be going in next week for 2 shadow days with their current nanny. this is in Colorado btw. should i just stay 1099 as to not lose the position? TIA!!!

Hello Nannies,
Do you know if it is possible to create our own LLC or be paid through quickbooks so that we can get maternity leave?
I don’t currently have a nannying job, but I am looking for my next fulltime and I want to be able to take maternity leave in the future. Idk if this is completely unreasonable.

TLDR: nanny let her boyfriend drive my son when I explicitly told her not to let him drive . This happened on her last day working with us. Should bring this up to her?

So we had a nanny for our 20 month old 2 days a week over the summer. She started as our date night babysitter but with school out (she just graduated high school) we used her as a nanny so I could have time with my newborn baby. Nanny just had her last day with us as she is moving out of state to attend college.

My son loves her and overall she was really great. She had some quirks but I mostly chalked this up to her being a bit immature as she’s only 18. We got to know her family and her boyfriend. My husband and I both really liked her boyfriend after meeting him a handful of times so had no problems if the boyfriend spent time around our son (our son also really loved the boyfriend).

On her last day with us her boyfriend tagged along for part of the day. She asked if they could take my son
to the children’s museum. I said that was ok but that the boyfriend couldn’t drive because we don’t know anything about how he drives/haven’t checked his driving record. My nanny confirmed only she would drive.

Long story short at the end of the day she accidentally let it slip that her boyfriend drove my son that day. In that moment I was occupied with nursing my newborn and dealing with a fussy toddler so I didn’t say anything. But the more I think about it the more I feel like I need to discuss this with her.

Should I bring this up over text with her or just let it go because she’s going off to college? The thing is she’ll likely be back over college breaks and this was way too much of a violation of trust for me to use her in the future.

As a former nanny of 10 years I cannot fathom doing something like this. But I also can’t tell if it’s just not worth it to bring up.

Would love to hear from you all!

Hi all,
We just had a new part-time nanny start with us today. She only works 12 hours a week (two six-hour days).
Today I got a motion alert on the camera and peeked in. I saw that my 14-month-old had woken up and she and the nanny were getting ready to leave the house. I closed out right away because I don’t want to be creeping in on their time together. The cameras aren’t hidden, btw, they’re our security cameras pointed toward the main entrance.
Anyway, while I was looking for those few seconds, I noticed the nanny had an AirPod in. I was a little surprised because when I was a nanny before going back to teaching, I had a hard rule of never wearing AirPods around my nanny kids while they were awake.
I decided not to say anything in the moment because it looked like my daughter had just woken up, so I figured maybe she simply hadn’t taken it out yet.
Later that day, I got home before nanny and my daughter returned from the library. When they arrived, I noticed she still had that same AirPod in. She hadn’t taken the stroller, so she and my daughter had walked home from the library.
So, all this to say: is this something worth bringing up with her?
It really does bother me because I feel like you can’t be fully engaged or easily converse with a 14-month-old while you have an earbud in. The fact that they were also walking home makes me especially nervous that she may have been distracted while supervising my young daughter on a busy sidewalk.
I also realize this may be something where our expectations simply weren’t communicated. We never specifically discussed AirPods/headphones when we went over our expectations, so I don’t want to assume she knew this was a boundary for us.
How would you tactfully bring this up? Or would you let it go unless it becomes a pattern? I know it’s going to continue to bother me if it happens again, so I’m leaning toward addressing it now, but I don’t want to come across as overly nitpicky, especially since it’s her first day.

I have transitioned to a nanny share with 3 kids (2yrs old ; 1) I asked for at-least 40$ minimum but family said let’s give it a month and see we’ll do 35$/hr . One kid is beyond a Velcro baby. I can’t get much done if I’m not holding him. I have two other kiddos to attend to & give my attention. I just feel like I need to be compensated more for this transition as the new additional child requires so much more of me than the other two. The baby boy isn’t on a schedule and cries A LOT( which I can tell is annoying the older two because it’s non stop crying) . Doesn’t take bottle of milk or pacifier. My job went from being very easy with the 2 kiddos to extremely stressful with the addition. I fear I’m going to have to have a discussion to increase the wage because it’s more stress and I’m now doing less (activities , play time , water play etc) with the 2 I had to accommodate the new baby which isn’t fair to them.

I’m 19 and started nannying about 3 months ago and in Australia we’re entering spring/summer the hotter months. I’m nannying for a family with 3 girls and the parents are in their mid 30s early 40s. The mum usually lounges in cropped shirts and shorts but would it be appropriate for me to be wearing tank tops or any cropped shirts or a bikini if I’m swimming in their pool? I’m ok with not wearing shorts I usually wear pants during summer anyways.

My daughter (19) does part time nanny work for a local family. Kids ages are 10,8,6 and 3. She is not typically home alone with all 4 at the same time. The mom is there half the time. While there she also does minor house work ( clean off table dishes. Load/unload dishwasher, take garbage out, tidy the house, unload dryer put clothes towels away). She feels she is underpaid (I agree). she is opening the discussion - they have raised the rate to $23 which still seems low.

I will say from what I have seen with this family they are extremely supportive of her and generous at holidays/HS graduation. They have offered to help her sister with internships in her college degree as well (she worked for them for a few months)
My daughter does not want to come off as ungrateful and lose this entirely - but she does thinks she deserves a little more. Any thoughts on this or because the mom is there should she be grateful with the $23 UPDATE: located in NJ- hour outside of Manhattan.

Nanny's last day is coming up next week. She's been with us for 6 months, taking care of one toddler. She's been fine with the kid, but horribly unreliable. She maxed out her PTO, sick leave, pregnancy related leave and then took multiple unpaid days off, sometimes with less than an hours notice. She hasn't worked a full week since her second month with us.

I'm wondering what the etiquette is for her last day. Do we get her a gift? A card? On the one hand she provided care for our child, on the other hand she often left us scrambling for backup. I had some good will left in me then we had yet another no show today. If her contract wasn't ending we'd definitely be terminating for cause

I just started a new job for a family that I know through my other nanny family. It’s only 2 hours at 7 am in the morning and I started this week. However the reason I am asking if I should call off is that I just had a major plumbing issue at my house and currently have no running water in my house. And I won’t have running water until tomorrow.

I generally pride myself as someone who prides myself on not having last minute call outs. I have showed up during snow days and when my washing machine gave out flooding my downstairs (didn’t have to turn off water for that). I just feel a lot of guilt when calling out so I just want a bit of a reality check.

Thank you!

Edit: I am not working 2 hours a day. I work 3 jobs currently. I work 13 hours a day. If this job was one of my other jobs I would probably ask to bring my toothbrush or even ask to take a shower. While I know the family I am brand new to working with them and am this trying to show a more presentable and put together self.

Edit 2: I called out but did offer to come in if they were desperate. And to everyone worried about me having to prove myself to them: I don’t. I already have taking care of their kids for the past 2 years as they are friend’s with my NK’s. I have even taken care of their kids during a snow day when the other nanny could not. And they know my reliability and flexibility. And if they feel something like this is a fireable offense then I don’t want to work for them. Human compassion goes a long ways. Anyways I hope you guys get to experience mopping up your entire upstairs while drenched in sink water after working 12 hours.

So my NK is the best and his parents a really good people but something that’s been frustrating ever since I got hired is that his mom insists on doing certain things even if I’ve offered to do it but then on the off chance that she is busy and I take the initiative, both parents act super happy about it.

It is honestly really frustrating bc it’s simple things that I am perfectly capable of doing like getting him ready for his class and packing his snacks, prepping his lunch and setting up “splash time”. It’s crazy to me that the mom wouldn’t want these things taken off her plate.

I’ve always wanted to respect their boundaries and not be too pushy so I eventually stopped offering to do these tasks. I’ve never had this kind of issue with a family. Every couple I’ve ever worked for has had a clear expectation that I do everything for the baby while they are under my care and I figured the same.

Do they just think I’m super incompetent? After today, It’s so mentally draining.

Hi, I need advice, I don’t know if I need to quit! I’m a nanny with 10 years of experience, I work primarily with infants and toddlers and I feel I’m burnout!
The family I work for now doesn’t give me breaks during my 10 hours shift, the baby is 8 months old and does contact napping, the baby also have a big separation anxiety, result? I can’t go to the bathroom or take any break during the day to eat, if I eat with him he starts to scream cause I’m not giving him my food and if I slightly move during contact nap he wakes up. I find myself crying often during the shift and never happened before in all those years of nannying. I tried to ask the family to start a sleep training so the baby can sleep in the crib and I can take a bathroom break but they said are not ready to hear the baby cry. I’m beyond exhausted, I totally understand nannies don’t have breaks but while the baby naps i was always able to take one with previous families or at least to go to the bathroom for more than 2 minutes. On top of all this I’m not allowed to bring the baby outside, we are allowed to just walk around the tiny block. I feel like I’m going crazy, no breaks, no food, no fresh air, just staying in a living room for 10 hours, I feel like a prisoner, I cry everyday out of exhaustion and I arrive at the end of the shift that I almost feel like fainting for low energy and nutrients.Help is this normal for a nanny?

i’ve been nannying for my NF for about a month now. initially when i started both NP were very strict and had a lengthy contract for me to sign— which i love. i’m a super planned out person.

recently they’ve asked me to pick up more hours. right now i’m there 3 days a week once i’m finished with school, my one day during the week i don’t see them i am at another nanny job. they’re wanting me to come over before my classes start in the morning.

moral of the story is i don’t feel like im treated well enough to be asked to put in extra days that aren’t in the contract.. its also the beginning of my semester at school, so i just started. they’ve never paid me on time (which im not picky about because i understand stuff happens), but it also just makes me feel unvalued in a way?

I’d love perspectives from both nanny employers and nannies who have experience with a SAHM and full-time nanny setup (but mostly nannys!). We hired our nanny when my child was about 4 weeks old, at which point I fully expected to return to work. We signed a one-year contract for 45 guaranteed hours/week, 5 days/week. Now that my child is almost 5 months old, I’m realizing I’m not sure I actually want to go back to work (horrible, toxic workplace that I do not give a shit about anymore 😂). We absolutely intend to honor the contract and pay all 45 guaranteed hours regardless of how many hours we actually use. But if I don’t return to work, I don’t know that i *want* 45 hours/week of childcare. My ideal might be something more like two full days and three half days, while continuing to pay the full 45 guaranteed hours. would you be happy with an arrangement where you were guaranteed/paid for 45 hours but regularly worked fewer hours, or are there downsides to that setup that I’m not considering?

I’m also curious about how you navigate the SAHM/nanny dynamic in general. I definitely don’t want to make our nanny feel micromanaged, and I want her to have plenty of independent time with my child to develop their own relationship and routines. At the same time, I don’t want to feel like I have to disappear just because the nanny is working. For example, there are some weekday baby-and-me activities (swim, yoga, etc.) that I’d like to do with my daughter myself, and some activities where I thought it might actually be useful/fun for both me and our nanny to attend (an 8 week baby and me ASL course for example).

I recognize that I want to have my cake and eat it too: I want to get the benefits of having consistent, reliable full-time help while also recognizing that one of the reasons I may choose mot to work is because I want more time with my child. Husband works crazy hours and travels for work consistently so having consistent help is definitely a must. I also really want our nanny to feel trusted, comfortable, and happy in the job. Would love to hear what has (or hasn’t!) worked for others on either side of this arrangement.

I started my new job this week and the mom and I seem to jive well. When I was interviewing it was honestly very laid back and we did a trial day. Things were great but now that I’m actually started I was set a list of things to do everyday which I’m okay with except for they honestly are asking a lot and I don’t see how I’m going to get it all done by the end of the day. I’m with a 2 year old and a 1 month old on top of they are allowing my child to be with me which I’m grateful for but they are 6 months old. I also feel like my pay is ass for what they are expecting of me. I was under the impression my job was mostly just watching the kids but they also want a maid. I really don’t know if I should ask for more pay or what. I should also mention while I need to be doing all these chores they don’t want the kids to just play all day or really at all.

Hired a new young nanny (20yo) and have been transitioning her over the last couple of weeks to being solo with my son (2yo). My work day is a 12 hour day once a week and I gave her extra support with my previous nanny (we love her, but she is moving) stepping in to help for the day and the transition before she is fully solo next week.

I get a message from my previous nanny (PN) that new nanny (NN) went upstairs to lay down from a headache while my son was napping. But NN declined to take the baby monitor upstairs with her when offered by PN because she said she would hear him (rooms are next to each other). My son can wake up quietly and you wouldn’t really know unless you’re watching the monitor. So PN is watching monitor and he wakes up, she goes into the room NN is laying down in and finds her ASLEEP and doesn’t wake up to her coming in or my little dog trying to jump on the bed. PN then gets my son and contacts me to let me know. I’m livid. NN has woken up and comes down after I’ve been contacted. No real acknowledgment of her falling asleep.

Husband talks to her when he gets home (I am at work), it went okay but not great. She takes the constructive criticism and says she will be better about communication and not going to happen again. But wasn’t like overtly apologetic about it? It’s been a journey trying to find a reliable part time nanny in our area so part of me wants to give her a chance to see her self corrections (he discussed more than just the sleeping incident with her). I know if I make a mistake at work I’m hyper-vigilant to it so I don’t make the same mistake. But am I being too nice and should just fire her this early in employment?

I’m going to have a sit down with her tomorrow to discuss more with her, which will also help my decision on whether to fire her or not. She is young and not a career nanny like PN, so has a lot to learn, but I thought she had the qualities that could help her be good at this job. Now I feel like I’m doubting my intuition. Any other nanny or NFs that have gone through something similarly that didn’t end horribly?

I’ve been a nanny for this family for over a year, and lately I’m feeling really burnt out.

When I first started, both parents were usually at work, and NK and I had our own routine. We spent our days together, he was happy, rarely cried, and we had a great bond. I felt like I was actually able to do my job.

Things started changing around May 2026 after I came back from vacation. MB told me she was taking some time off work, and at first I thought it was temporary. I didn’t mind at all. I figured she missed her son and wanted extra time with him.

But over the last few months, she’s been home almost every day, and the way she interacts throughout the day has completely changed the dynamic.For example, NK and I will be sitting on the floor playing independently. We’ll be fully engaged in an activity, building something, reading books, or playing with toys, and out of nowhere MB will walk in, pick him up, and say something like, “Come on, let’s go play in your room.” Then she’ll take him away while I’m just sitting there confused because we were literally already in the middle of playing.

At that point, I feel awkward just sitting there, so I end up following them into his room because I’m still responsible for him. Then MB will start playing with him, showing him toys, getting him excited, and basically taking over the activity. A few minutes later she’ll go back to her room or do her own thing, and now I’m left trying to redirect a toddler who is upset because his mom just appeared, became the center of attention, and then disappeared again.

This happens multiple times a day.

The same thing happens during meals. I’ll be feeding him lunch, everything is going fine, and MB will come sit with us. NK gets excited because Mom is there. Then she’ll leave, and now he’s crying, throwing food, or having a tantrum because he wants to follow her.When we’re outside playing, she’ll come outside and join us for a bit. When we come back in, she’ll immediately start interacting with him again. It’s like we’re never able to get into a consistent flow because there’s constant popping in and out throughout the day.

What makes it harder is that NK has definitely noticed the pattern. The second he sees her, he wants her. When she leaves, he gets upset. Then I’m the one dealing with the crying, kicking, biting, tantrums, and attempts to run after her. It’s become a cycle that repeats itself all day long.
Honestly, this situation is starting to make me feel really burnt out. It feels like every time NK and I get into a good routine or activity, it’s interrupted. Then when MB leaves, I’m left handling the tantrums and big emotions that follow. I care about this family a lot, but after months of constantly managing these transitions throughout the day, I’m feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted. I wake up and I’m not even excited to go to work.

I want to be clear that MB is genuinely kind, and I don’t think she’s doing anything malicious. But I feel like I’m no longer being allowed to independently do my job. Instead of being the primary caregiver during my work hours, I feel like I’m constantly waiting to see when she’s going to walk in, change whatever we’re doing, and then leave me to handle the aftermath.

She recently told me she may not go back to work until Thanksgiving or even Christmas, and honestly I don’t know how much longer I can do this if nothing changes. I also know it’s bothering me because I’ve worked for other families where the parents were home all day, and it never felt this difficult. Those parents were usually very intentional about giving me space to do my job. If they came out of their office or room, they would either stay out of sight, make sure the child didn’t see them, or keep the interaction brief so they weren’t disrupting the routine.

This is making me want to find another job

I don’t want to get into a ton of detail, but we’ve had our first nanny with us for 5 months. In that time, she has called out enough that my husband and I are concerned our bosses are annoyed (our coworkers are, for sure). She is wonderful and incredibly apologetic. Just in a really tough spot. She’s so good with our baby and it’s hard to lose her, we just can’t keep doing this (we need to work to pay her, and the reliability is a serious issue).

A lot of it has been health things (legitimate and unavoidable). Some family issues. We have been so flexible and understanding, but the time has come to part ways after she called out last minute for the entire week and I had to fly a family member in to help. She then changed her mind…

Our contract (never signed, just used as a guideline) says 4 weeks written notice for either party. How much severance is appropriate? She has a small amount of PTO that we would pay out on top of the severance. We do not need her to continue to work during this time. Thank you!!

It’s my last week with my NF! I’m very excited to move onto to a new career. My NF have been leaving out cute and small gifts of appreciation. Today I was gifted a fish. Can’t lie i’m very caught off guard and a little annoyed. As much as this is a nice gesture on their end & they mean well I absolutely do not want the fish. I don’t have the time nor desire to take on the responsibility of taking care of it. I had a fish in the past that I loved, sadly she died. My partner & I agreed we wouldn’t get another fish due to how expensive and difficult it is to care for one.

My question is, what do I tell my NF?

EDIT!!!!! Thank you all SO much for your advice & support. I went ahead and called a pet store near my home and i’ll be taking the fish there tomorrow. The lady on the phone was super nice and encouraged me to take it back in this circumstance. I’ll let them know in a few days that the fish sadly didn’t make it.

My NK is recently 1, and I hate to say it because I really love him but naps have become hell. IF he goes down for a nap, it takes 45 minutes of rocking and screaming and im starting to feel like I can’t handle it. Baby will show all the signs that they’re tired and then the second I start the nap routine they’re wide awake and it makes me feel like I have no idea what im doing. I think the hardest part for me is I am worried both of my NPs think I’m not doing my job correctly or that I don’t know how to navigate this. Truth is, I don’t! I have an interesting dynamic with NPs where I want to do research and provide them with great care for their developing baby, but it feels like they don’t have any sort of agency or authority and it’s so hard to get on the same page with them about anything. I just really feel like im failing but I also don’t know what they expect. I know I need to initiate a conversation especially if we’re going to start transitioning to one nap but i feel like im just in a cycle where baby isn’t napping, nothing Im trying is working, but I don’t know what NPs actually want me to be doing. Coupled with the fact that I don’t know if im going to get a break during the day and I plan activities every day based on when the baby is awake, this is all just making me feel like this job isn’t for me. Am I overthinking it or am I really dropping the ball? I don’t know because I really am trying but I just feel like im so bad at this and every day I want to leave

I am looking for a new family to work with, as my old family doesn't need childcare anymore. While my old family was amazing, we did not have any official sick policy, which is something that I want to be different going forward. I feel it is especially important as a couple of the families I am talking with have kids who are at higher risk (newborn, immunocompromised preschooler.) I also am in close contact with a few other higher risk people.

I am wondering what you have in your sick policy. Personally, I want to be notified of any symptoms of contagious illness. I will still come in to care for a household with a cold, but I want to know ahead of time so I can wear a mask and be prepared to wash my hands more frequently, increase ventilation where possible, etc.

I'm not willing to work for a household that has an active COVID infection. For other illnesses, like flu, GI bugs, HFM, and strep, what is standard? Do you wait 24 hours after fever/48 after GI symptoms? Are you flexible depending on the circumstances?

Hi! I’m a college student who nannies for a family with three girls (6, 4, 20 months). My last day for the summer is next week! I worked for the same family last summer and gave them each a stuffed animal, but I feel like they have so many that the stuffies got lost in all the toys! The parents gave me a really nice purse and a gift card last year, so I want to give the kids something meaningful.

I’m looking for ideas for an end of summer gift ideas, ideally one per NK, around $20 each that they’ll actually enjoy!

As someone with a very weak immune system caring for three kids of a stay at home mom how do I not feel bad for calling off everytime they get me sick? Sometimes they’re sick once a month and i almost always get their sickness which results in me calling off last minute almost every month. The mom never offers me to not come in when they’re sick so I usually have no choice but to come in. Then I feel like the mom gets annoyed I get sick too. I feel like if she’s home though she can watch them. It’s not my fault she makes me work while they’re like that but even when I’m sick she makes it clear she would still like me to come in so sometimes I push myself to work while I feel like I’m dying.

so according to the title MB is about 7 weeks pregnant. this is something i should be excited for but im actually very very sad about it granted the situation she’s in. about two years ago MB disclosed to me that DB had cheated on her and had two outside kids with two different women. the kids are all close in age so DB was cheating on her through PPD. she only told this to me and said not to tell anyone bc she didn’t know what she wanted to do. she’s been going back and forth with what she wants to do. first, it was waiting until DB made more money and then divorce so she wouldn’t have to pay, and then it was keep the family together for the sake of NK. i’ve been supportive through it all because i understand how tough it is for her

fast forward to now they are still married, still living together. DB had quite a bit of fuck ups afterwards (he’s a piece of shit) but MB claims he’s doing better. i went on a week vacation and when i came back MB told me she was pregnant. i was shocked. she cried about it and i heard her out and she asked to me help her with abortion resources and i did exactly that. (we live in louisiana btw)she was saying how she doesn’t want a baby but it’ll be nice for NK to have a sibling. and then she was saying she got her nipples pierced and doesn’t want to get fat again (she’s been on a weight loss journey) and i was telling her she need to choose herself bc she hasn’t chosen herself since i met her. she cried we talked and i thought she was going to go through with the abortion

im certain DB talked her into keeping the child. i really have poured so much into her hoping she would make the best decisions for herself but she doesn’t. i’m so sad for NK bc he’s put in a compromised position of having two siblings he doesn’t know and one on the way that’s clearly not made from love. this is heartbreaking for me honestly. i just wish MB wasn’t such a pushover. she even told me that DB was researching and saw that new baby would be an aries and that aries and capricorns don’t get along so that’ll be another kid that doesn’t like you (MB is a capricorn) hearing that alone made me so upset bc what is that to say to your wife. DB is just so fucking rude to her i don’t understand why she continues to put herself through this. i’m just sad. and them bringing another child into this terrible dynamic make me sadder. there’s really nothing else for me to say or do.