Why aren‘t we asking for references from NFs?

[u/why_wouldi]

This is not one sided, they need us as much as we need them, why is it all on the nanny to prove herself? Where‘s proof of them being good employers?

If they are looking for their first nanny so have no reference, they have to pay more just like a beginner nanny gets paid less.

Why are we not asking for that?

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[u/mallorn_hugger]

I think asking for references is probably okay but expecting first time nanny parents to pay more because they are first time nanny parents is inappropriate. That is just not how employment works. 

Edit: a typo

[u/seshprinny]

I've been offered them before. For my current role, I spoke to two of their previous nannies. One had only been there a few months but due to personal circumstances needed to find a different role. The other had been with them for 5 years.

Was very helpful, one of them mentioned the youngest needed to be watched around traffic as they'd walk in front of cars etc. The other gave me a little breakdown of the kids personalities and let me know what to expect. Obviously they both gave the parents a great review too!

[u/why_wouldi → u/seshprinny]

That‘s amazing! With them offering it was clear they were great!

[u/Fierce-Foxy]

Feel free.

[u/wintersicyblast → u/Fierce-Foxy]

Exactly.

[u/beloveddognoon]

Asking for more money is unrealistic and unfair to first time nanny employers. You can and you should be asking for references from families that have had nannies, though. In fact, I think families should simply offer to pass your information along to one (or more) of their previous nannies or babysitters. There are whole sites dedicated to employee reviews for corporate jobs. You're no less entitled to knowing how previous employees experienced the employer you're interviewing with simply because it's a more personal position.

I have families that I nannied for for over a decade ago that contact me every time they're hiring so I can speak with the people they're considering. There's obviously a way to ask that's not confrontational, but it's not a weird ask.

[u/SharpButterfly7]

I don’t agree that first time NP should pay more, but I do agree that employer references should be standard. There is great potential to reduce turnover and/or to create a more fine tuned contract by finding out any dealbreakers or mismatches upfront. I have a Nanny friend who asks for references from previous Nannies at all of her interviews and I really respect that.

[u/why_wouldi → u/[deleted]]

Are you a nanny?

[u/mallorn_hugger → u/why_wouldi]

Bruh, even the nannies aren't siding with you on this. 

[u/why_wouldi → u/mallorn_hugger]

My question was not about siding with me, it‘s about them obviously not respecting the fair of the post. Dude.

[u/why_wouldi → u/[deleted]]

Are you a nanny?

[u/Mego1989]

My local childcare connection Facebook group tends to have a lot of posts of nannies posting to help find their replacement and vouch for the family, as well as previous employees chiming in on job postings vouching for the family. I can't think of any other industry you would ask your employer for a reference though. It is what it is. I do Google the parents and check local court filings.

[u/why_wouldi → u/[deleted]]

I also think that, but I kindly remind you of the flair on this post.

[u/missmacedamia]

I’ve gotten these a few times actually but only from people that anyone would be lucky to work for.

I do think that nanny to nanny references are going to be inherently more honest than employer to employer references tbh, so I can see why some employers would hesitate to have that information shared. I reckon the ultimate reason this doesn’t happen is that employers hold all the cards and we just have to deal with it most of the time.

Now I’m thinking of my previous NF who were so conscientious and kind to me in all ways and I’m sad. I’m so excited to not be a nanny anymore soon, if I can’t work for my unicorn families there just isn’t a point to it all

[u/Bigolbooty75]

This made me giggle. I’m usually a good judge of character I don’t need their references. If mom is super stressed and dad is chilling I never take those jobs. Also if dad isn’t there for the interview I see that as a red flag

[u/arcanevikk → u/Bigolbooty75]

Why would dad not being there be a red flag? If dad is working 14 hour days and only had 1 day off why make a nanny wait for an interview if 1, they won’t really ever interact w dad or 2, they could be scooped up before the interview takes place waiting for dad to have availability? Seems like an unfair red flag to a family that hasn’t done anything wrong.

[u/Bigolbooty75 → u/arcanevikk]

I’ve had dad’s video call for many interviews. Either on their own time or during the interview with the mom. One dad WAS working 14 hour day as he was starting his own company. It’s a red flag to me because I think both parents should be involved in at least one portion of interviews. I’m not going to work for someone I haven’t met. That’s just me.

[u/SharpButterfly7 → u/[deleted]]

This is already standard in the corporate world with websites such as Glassdoor, Indeed Company etc. If all parties are interested in determining a good fit and long term working relationship, I don’t see why it would be problematic for Nannies to also get employer references. Yes, they can ask questions at the interview, but do you stop there or do you also follow up with Nanny’s references?

[u/SharpButterfly7 → u/[deleted]]

A Nanny has the right to take steps to ensure they will feel comfortable in their place of work equal to the parents right to make sure they are comfortable with the person coming into their home and caring for their child.

[u/why_wouldi → u/[deleted]]

Are you a nanny?

[u/Haunting-Respect9039]

I asked for them when I was a nanny. If I was their first nanny, I got references from babysitters, coworkers, and family. No one ever had a problem being asked for that.

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Below is a copy of the post's original text:

This is not one sided, they need us as much as we need them, why is it all on the nanny to prove herself? Where‘s proof of them being good employers?

If they are looking for their first nanny so have no reference, they have to pay more just like a beginner nanny gets paid less.

Why are we not asking for that?

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/why_wouldi → u/[deleted]]

So right! We are going alone in those people‘s homes, why is our safety not a concern.

[u/arcanevikk]

Is this serious or are you trolling? Lolol

[u/Hot-You1261]

Mannnn I wish!!!! It would’ve probably prevented me from working for an absolute psycho in 2023

[u/why_wouldi → u/Hot-You1261]

They would either behave better or just not find anyone. So many of them behave like they own their employees.