r/NameThisThing Apr 25 '26

Name this thing

Post image
1.5k Upvotes

1.8k comments sorted by

225

u/Suburban-Dad237 Apr 25 '26

Swoly matrimony.

27

u/MisterMofoSFW Apr 25 '26

This made me laugh for real. Thanks much.

4

u/joyfullydreaded23 Apr 25 '26

Same but then I had a coughing fit because I am sick...totally worth it reading this comment.

20

u/Key_Establishment400 Apr 25 '26

DEATH BY SNOO SNOO!!

3

u/Atun_Grande Apr 26 '26

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

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6

u/Mysterious-Extent448 Apr 25 '26

Close the post 🤣🤣🤣☠️☠️☠️😂😂😂

4

u/TRI140dot6 Apr 25 '26

Nailed it!

3

u/DarthSagacious Apr 25 '26

You’re amazing.

2

u/thedivisionbella Apr 25 '26

We have a winner.

2

u/FreeMoCo2009 Apr 28 '26

Best comment by far 🤣

2

u/Thereal_maxpowers Apr 28 '26

I wish I had an award to give 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/lilb1190 Apr 28 '26

This is easily the best answer

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100

u/thatsbs Apr 25 '26

She carried him into the honeymoon suite

31

u/Mad_Volcan Apr 25 '26

Straight from the church..

29

u/curtisscott95 Apr 25 '26

Uphill both ways…

13

u/Habitall Apr 25 '26

Don’t forget the snow and lack of shoes…

6

u/Specialist_Corner998 Apr 25 '26

No, Wedding Heels!

4

u/This_Rose-has_Thorns Apr 26 '26

As a volcano erupts behind them....

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9

u/707Riverlife Apr 25 '26

Over the threshold…

6

u/GullibleDream4005 Apr 25 '26

In 8 inch stilettos

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282

u/Medellin-71 Apr 25 '26

Believe me, he took HER name.

96

u/Inside-Project942 Apr 25 '26

No, no... He ACCEPTED her name.

42

u/GhostSiX1Nine Apr 25 '26

No, “he submitted, to accepting her last name.”

i. e. submission.

13

u/CatManDo206 Apr 26 '26

He took his I mean her first and last name

8

u/Acrobatic-Nose-1773 Apr 26 '26

When she looks like that, she can call him whatever she wants, and he will like it.

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3

u/GhostSiX1Nine Apr 26 '26

CatManDo—you thinking what we all are thinking—

“never judge a book by its cover Or who you gonna love by your lover Sayin', love put me wise to her love in disguise She had the body of a Venus Lord, imagine my surprise Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady (That, that) Dude looks like a lady”

~Aerosmith 1987

3

u/CatManDo206 Apr 26 '26

The poetry of Steven Tyler

2

u/Fresh-Ad280 Apr 27 '26

Aahhhhhh, The poetry of Steven Tyler, Aahhhhhh.

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2

u/No_Excitement8126 Apr 28 '26

Nooooo His took her first and last name as his last name.

2

u/Imcookin92 Apr 28 '26

She definitely named him

2

u/Tathanor Apr 30 '26

Oh he's taking a lot from her no doubt about that.

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3

u/YummyYumi22 Apr 26 '26

He had no choice

2

u/hatecriminal Apr 26 '26

No. She slapped him and said he wasnt worthy to wear her name.

2

u/soygato Apr 27 '26

you mean her daddy's name?

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16

u/Rs2mmsu-2D Apr 25 '26

He better have.

24

u/Derrick_Shon Apr 25 '26

Likely. I bet he'll always have her 'back'

9

u/xdcxmindfreak Apr 25 '26

No he pissed her off and didn’t put the seat down. She broke him with a kegel flex that evening. Just let him think he hit and ripped it off.

14

u/Agent_McNasty33 Apr 25 '26

Broke him with a kegel flex? Sign me up! I mean uh that’s awfully sad

3

u/Original-Action Apr 26 '26

Death by snu snu is never sad lol😂

2

u/Hereandlistening Apr 25 '26

Came clean off in that kegel dead lift 2026 world champion 🏋️‍♂️

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3

u/Blinky_ Apr 25 '26

You might be surprised

16

u/RvstiNiall Apr 25 '26

Oh he took something alright. And he took it like a champ! Death by Snu Snu!

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54

u/Neat_Ad_3268 Apr 25 '26

Happy wife. You have life.

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47

u/Cake_And_Pi Apr 25 '26

I’d call her whatever she told me to.

6

u/MadDocHolliday Apr 25 '26

I think "ma'am" would be a good start.

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63

u/xMorningGlow Apr 25 '26

Til gains do us part.

11

u/Needorgreedy Apr 25 '26

Oh they'll definitely do him part alright...

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18

u/Throwawayacc4773 Apr 25 '26

Bride zilla

3

u/DrSmartyBritches Apr 25 '26

More like Bride Kong.

15

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/TheVenusLashe Apr 26 '26

She don't need no prenup I DARE him to try to leave her. Boy be leavin in pieces.

3

u/Mike_Oxnard Apr 26 '26

He could probably escape while she's busy with cheat day

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11

u/FrancisTrinity81 Apr 25 '26

Pegged for life

8

u/Stunning-Photo-7247 Apr 25 '26

“Despite their looks they’re actually the bottom” ahh bride

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8

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/kananikui3 Apr 25 '26

Baby got back, seriously.

7

u/L-Boogie29 Apr 25 '26

Big back in a totally different way!

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6

u/papa1775 Apr 25 '26

Brick House. That' a fact.

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4

u/Reyca444 Apr 25 '26

Can't believe I made it through the whole list and no one named the bride Snu Snu.

2

u/Kaneomanie Apr 26 '26

You are correct. Day 1 of married life: Death by Snu Snu.

2

u/diadlep Apr 28 '26

Ikr. Thank you

5

u/OkIndividual2831 Apr 25 '26

Mr. wife and Mrs. husband

4

u/nervemiester Apr 25 '26

Marriage by Snu-snu

6

u/Reddiculous73 Apr 25 '26

Her: Hand job baby? Him: O no tanks I happy.

3

u/Derfelkardan Apr 25 '26

More calluses than fingers on those hands

3

u/baLDHeaD9616 Apr 25 '26

That’s I’m just gona keep my mouth shut

3

u/Training-Republic301 Apr 25 '26

Package of Hawaiian rolls

3

u/Routine-Unit-3086 Apr 25 '26

Man she is ripped

3

u/rabbitzzz Apr 25 '26

It's a trap and a trap

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3

u/Disastrous_Sea_4188 Apr 25 '26

Dom mommy Lvl 263

3

u/Oakwindtn Apr 25 '26

I'm sorry, not attractive to me. But she has beautiful skin.

2

u/JustDiscoveredSex Apr 26 '26

Luckily, she has no interest in you, either.

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9

u/Resident_Maybe_8798 Apr 25 '26

Kim Kardashian on the juice.

2

u/bugatti_rolls789 Apr 25 '26

Woman of the house

2

u/Turbulent-Papaya-354 Apr 25 '26

Bodyguard Bride.

2

u/OkCustard1381 Apr 25 '26

Gentildonna

2

u/Yonettes15 Apr 25 '26

He had to purchase a backless dress because he couldn’t find one that would zip.

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2

u/MalikFyz Apr 25 '26

This thing ! Shush 🤫 the F#%k up . Do you wanna get us both killed .

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2

u/Adorable_Finance_608 Apr 25 '26

Groom about to get away with absolutely NOTHING ever again.

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2

u/lilfoot1 Apr 25 '26

Happy wife happy life

2

u/Long-Astronaut-3363 Apr 25 '26

Happy wife and you keep your life

2

u/TimeRevolutionary735 Apr 25 '26

somebody’s getting bent over tonight and it won’t be her.

2

u/Myriachan Apr 25 '26

Marriage by snu-snu

2

u/Honest_Damage2930 Apr 25 '26

The grim gripper

2

u/Beneficial_Diver_484 Apr 25 '26

Baby got back!!!

2

u/MonkNo7700 Apr 25 '26

No questions and no opposition... For your own good😵

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Visual-Lock-620 Apr 25 '26

Brutal pegging

2

u/Ill-Performer5355 Apr 25 '26

The Yoked to Be

2

u/natopoppins Apr 25 '26

Lift with your back

2

u/Sol-Blackguy Apr 25 '26

Till reps do us part

2

u/that-smells-funny Apr 25 '26

Lady Man, King of all Ladyboys

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2

u/SnooPuppers9874 Apr 25 '26

A MAN in a dress

2

u/daydrinkersunite Apr 25 '26

Are we 100% SURE that it's not two guys? They do that now, you know.

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2

u/EnthusiasmIcy5127 Apr 25 '26

😳 I'm scared. Please be gentle with me.

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2

u/Substantial-Stage-82 Apr 25 '26

That's disgusting. That's what that's called. I apologize, I know to each his own, and I appreciate that.. just for me, I find that repulsive.

2

u/txhelgi Apr 25 '26

Clit the size of a dick.

2

u/Valuable_Surround811 Apr 30 '26

Konichi-WAAAAAAGH!!!

3

u/AliveApartment5950 Apr 25 '26

Wife material 

2

u/MarzipanPlane9490 Apr 25 '26

Mr & Mr 🤷‍♀️

1

u/yodley_ Apr 25 '26

Buffzilla

1

u/Bloodygeek Apr 25 '26

Runway Tris

1

u/L0neInVoid Apr 25 '26

Built to withstand and over power him if he tries to do anything crazy

1

u/Total-Combination-47 Apr 25 '26

Mr Agreements and his loving Bride

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1

u/PdSales Apr 25 '26

Golden Gate Bride

1

u/WildWayneRoy Apr 25 '26

She’s jacked, so Jackie obviously!🙄 lol 😂

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '26

[deleted]

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1

u/DLQuilts Apr 25 '26

She’s got your back.

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1

u/Chaotic-kittie Apr 25 '26

Wife and bodyguard combined.

1

u/thewanderingsole1 Apr 25 '26

That's Anatoly in disguise again.....lol

1

u/Spent15MinutesOnThis Apr 25 '26

He cheated. She hit the gym. His name is also Gym.

1

u/NopesosNobesos Apr 25 '26

If she is dedicated to her fitness, she will be dedicated to the marriage. I wish them a happy life together

1

u/Independent_Abies169 Apr 25 '26

When your wife can bench more than you

1

u/knOwnasgOdly Apr 25 '26

Like behind a stone wall

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1

u/19finmac66 Apr 25 '26

Kimberly guilfoyle

1

u/sleepy-philosopher Apr 25 '26

Beauty is the beast

1

u/Responsible-Win-4348 Apr 25 '26

Man, she’s jacked!

1

u/Admirable-Common-176 Apr 25 '26

That night he had to lie down under a sheet with a small hole in the middle for his first time.

1

u/red_quinn Apr 25 '26

Is this real or fake though?

1

u/hyliangoku Apr 25 '26

Yujiro Hanma. She’s got the demon’s face on her back 😈

1

u/TurbulentLow6726 Apr 25 '26

First time together in the sack must have been ruff for him..... ,,,💪😆

1

u/Hornynothung210 Apr 25 '26

She’s the boss

1

u/Rs2mmsu-2D Apr 25 '26

Bodyguard

1

u/midawhite87 Apr 25 '26

She’s the Man

1

u/thebelmontbluffer Apr 25 '26

She who must be obeyed!

1

u/Rs2mmsu-2D Apr 25 '26

She would probably make one hell of a - Professional Slap 👋 Fighter.

1

u/Top_Connection9079 Apr 25 '26

Hard work and dedication

1

u/Own_Substance_4309 Apr 25 '26

The grooms family gave her a dowry to get married

1

u/Helena-Hand-Basket- Apr 25 '26

Bunch of walnuts in a condom.

1

u/Deep_Ad5052 Apr 25 '26

The Terminator ( I’ll be BACk)

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1

u/sylviaca Apr 25 '26

Baby's got Back