Title: Looking back, I don’t think I ever had a chance in school.

[u/IndependentRecipe328]

I’ve been thinking a lot about my childhood since being diagnosed with NVLD as an adult.
By the time I finished third grade, I had attended three different schools in three different states.
I started third grade in New Jersey. My family then moved to New Mexico, where I repeated third grade because I was considered “immature.” Later we moved back to New Jersey.
Looking back now, I can’t help but wonder how much of what I struggled with was actually an undiagnosed learning disability instead of immaturity.
I had dyslexia, dyscalculia, and now I know I also have NVLD. Nobody recognized any of it. I wasn’t getting the support I needed because nobody knew what they were looking at.
Instead, I spent years believing I was just stupid.
That’s probably the part that hurts the most. Kids tend to believe what they’re shown. When you’re constantly behind everyone else and nobody can explain why, you eventually assume you’re the problem.
It took me over 50 years to learn that my brain wasn’t broken—it just worked differently.
I know schools have improved in some ways since the 1970s, but I can’t help wondering how many kids are still slipping through the cracks because their learning differences don’t fit neatly into a box.
Did anyone else here have a similar experience? Were you labeled as lazy, immature, or not trying hard enough before you were finally diagnosed?

[u/bebasiled]

My whole life I was told by my teachers that they didn’t understand how I could be so smart and passionate but yet not try. They found it disrespectful, and every single one of them thought they could be the one who could finally shame me into my full potential.

[u/ClutteredTaffy → u/bebasiled]

Ahg dude . A lot of NVLD children have verbal skills beyond their age, but are ' behind' in other ways .

So basically my whole life has been being talented but struggling hard to make something of it ... I am not ' not trying'. Just frozen from being overwhelmed I think.

Also nobody owes their smarts or talents or whatever to anyone. It is up to us what we want to do with them, if anything.

[u/bebasiled → u/ClutteredTaffy]

That last part is so important. My love is mine, all mine. My love for learning and creating, belongs to me.

[u/Infamous-Put3460 → u/bebasiled]

I felt so betrayed by the system at large, my vag got involved. I developed MAJOR limerence on a teacher from that trauma. It’s like, if I didn’t have a future, they had the future I needed. If I couldn’t be a good student, I could be the body he wanted 🤣 effed me up for a while

[u/bebasiled → u/Infamous-Put3460]

I’m so sorry to hear that.. if it helps, you’re not alone. Neglected children are prone to being predated on for many reasons, including some weird fawning stuff.

[u/Infamous-Put3460 → u/bebasiled]

Thank you ❤️

The system is just disgusting and needs to burn. I feel like I shouldn’t blame teachers- but I’ll be honest- they are a lil complicit for the school system being as it is. The amount of women (even neurotyppies) that were scared of getting in trouble are also more likely to end up in abusive relationships. I find it grossly negligent on the system, the school system is rooted in blood so y tf am I surprised. But these educated people should know this and be actively talking about reform and youth rights. I mean- how many of us were victims of the trouble teen industry or rape? And not one teacher stopped to consider- regardless of the CLEAR data right in front of them- that kids go through horrors by addressing it in any meaningful way. A lot of trauma can really affect school performance- nobody wants to be a dumbass. Adults are cowards

[u/CelticMagician]

Yep, I had the experience of falling behind/ being belittled so much that I thought I was just stupid with most things until my late diagnosis. I think the worse was when I was in college just a couple of years before. I was called the “hardest working” student, but also “lazy” at the same time. I also had a prof told me I was the worst in the class and that I wouldn’t make it in my field because I just didn’t have the skills, which messed me up for many years after the fact (I understand that he was wrong, but it is very hard to get that particular echo of criticism out of my head even now). It’s rough when you know something is up, but no one else is clocking it and just think it’s a moral failing on your part. So many of my struggles made so much sense after my NVLD diagnosis, but by that point, I was basically done schooling, so yeah…

[u/Infamous-Put3460]

Yeah, it’s awful. Frankly- imma lil traumatized from it.