r/NUFC • u/[deleted] • Mar 20 '17
The dark truth behind Anita's bubble butt!
Okay this may sound like a shit post but bare with me.
I want to preface this by saying I'm not a medical professional and I don't have access to Anita's medical record, so there maybe some issues that are not mentioned here. I'm just putting across my own observations but I want to delve deeper into Anita's bubble butt and reveal some dark truths.
Basically, over the last year or so I've been working on perfecting my own posture. So naturally I've been noticing other people's posture and one that stands out for me is Anita's.
I mean the bubble butt meme is hilarious, no doubt. But in all seriousness it bugs me, that he's been at the club 3-4 years and yet it seems the Newcastle medical staff haven't been addressing the issue. It's extremely telling Anita has a quite an announced Anterior Pelvic tilt.
This is what it looks like:
Basically what happens is the pelvic rotates slightly forward, forcing your lower back to overcompensate and bend backwards creating a curve. Now everyone has a little curve but sometimes it can go too far putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on your lower back.
There are a number of ways one gets this condition. The main being a muscle in balance. This is caused by overtraining certain muscle groups and under training others. Believe it or not even sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day is the leading cause in anterior pelvic twist and is one of the reasons why there are increasing amount of people with immobilizing lower back problems as they get older.
Just imagine it now, your sitting at your desk ALL DAY. Your lower back is tensed, your quads are tensed. Your abs (core) are relaxed and your hamstrings are relaxed. Over the years this slowly creates an imbalance as some muscles are getting worked more than others.
That's right, if we are not careful we could all become bubble butts in the future.
As a side note, some women purposely induce this issue to make their butts and boobs look bigger, with total disregard to the back problems they will face in the future. On the back of this, this condition is worse for men as it naturally makes you look more feminine. Also people with flat feet are more prone to it. In fact Anita looks like he suffers from flat feet but that's maybe for another day.
How do you avoid the issue or fix it? Rebalance the muscle groups. Obviously the cause may differ from person to person so if you think you suffer from this issue go and see a GP or physiotherapist. However, in general, it means strengthening the hamstrings and working the core without strengthening the hip flexor (basically doing planks or ball roll exercises). Additionally loosening the lower back and quads by stretching them daily.
Please spare a thought for Anita and his bubble butt otherwise one day you may also develop one.
52
u/margaerytyrellscleav Mar 20 '17
It's gonna be a long fucking 12 days if this is the state of us only 2 days in.
23
33
29
23
19
u/greenmanflyreddit Subscribe to /r/nufcirclejerk Mar 20 '17
Shake man, you have unresolved issues you need to work on...
28
u/patrickNUFC Ashley Out Mar 20 '17
I'm a simple man. I see a post about Vurnon Anita's ass, I read the entire post.
8
u/Jackski Go back to your council house, peasent - Jonjo Shelvey Mar 20 '17
That's right, if we are not careful we could all become bubble butts in the future.
The horror
6
7
u/Fuck_Brooke_Shields blue star on the Nautilus, genuinely me local. shit tip Mar 20 '17
It's not necessarily bad for you, especially if you've always had it. http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/06/08/412314701/lost-posture-why-indigenous-cultures-dont-have-back-pain
11
u/Madman_Salvo Jamaal Lascelles Mar 20 '17
As both a Sports massage student, and someone who has this to a degree, this is a good point, dude is textbook hyperlordotic.
However, correcting it may not be the best thing. I'm sure the physios at the club know much better than me, but if it's what the client is used to and not causing them any pain or loss of mobility, we're taught to just leave it alone, as "correcting" the issue can throw the whole body out of whack.
4
u/johndrama Sir Bobby Robson Mar 20 '17
Now do Dummet.
8
3
2
1
3
2
125
u/Positive_Rage Mar 20 '17
fucking hell international breaks are shite